my day, hope it does yours too...
When I'm A Little Old Lady...
To repay all I've had from each boy and girl,
I shall draw on the walls and scuff up the floor,
Run in and out without closing the door.
I'll hide frogs in the pantry, socks under the bed,
Whenever they scold me, I'll just hang my head,
I'll run and I'll romp, always flitter away,
The time to be spending doing the chores every day.
I'll pester the children when they're on the phone,
As long as they are busy, I won't leave them alone.
Hide candy in closets, rocksin drawers,
And never pick up my clothes from the floor.
Dash off to the movies and not wash a dish,
I'll plead for an allowance whenever I wish,
I'll stuff up the plumbing and deluge the floor
As soon as they've sopped it up, I'll flood some more.
When they correct me, I'll lay down and cry,
Kicking and screaming, not a tear in my eye,
I'll take all their pencils and flashlights and then
When they buy new ones, I'll take them again.
I'll spill glasses of milk to complete every meal,
Eat my banana and drop the peel,
Put toys on the table, spill jam on the floor
I'll break lots of dishes as though I were four,
What fun I shall have, what a joy it will be
To live with my children like they lived with me!
Grandmothers are good at sitting on the floor to play,
but they can be terribly difficult to get upright again.
I thought I had my life organized...
and then I became a grandma
your cereal for the fiber, not the toy...
My mind not only wanders,
but sometimes
it leaves completely...
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) Its frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers
to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . not wetting your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not wetting your pants.
Last updated 5/04/03
I collected them from the web and to my knowledge they were all
free. If you know of any that weren't free, please let me know and I will be happy to remove them.