I'd like to tell you a little about myself. I'm a fighter and a
survivor. I don't give up. I'm too stubborn and I have
an Irish temper to boot. I was discharged for a service
connected disability . This disability has changed my life
completely. I'm always in pain and I don't see it ever ending.
I've adjusted my life around it. I'm a SURVIVOR. I've
been diagnoised by the VA as a chronic pain patient
with a 70% rating (migrane, depression, PTSD , & TMJ
with a 100% Unemployability rate
I have recently been diagnosed with fibromyanlgia
and endometriosis. If you think you may have
either of these diseases, please seek help.

I share this with you, my fellow women veterans,
to show you that you were strong enough to serve your
county, despite the ridicule you received, and you, too,
are a survivor. I've met women who were raped in military
service, who were sexually harrassed, who were victims
of domestic violence . I've seen their eyes, sometimes
vacant, sometimes pain filled, sometimes sad. I look in the
mirror and I'm frightened by what I see. Dark circles, pain filled
eyes. Then I look deeper, I see strength and determination.
I've picked up the gauntlet thrown to me by a "male"
dominated system and opened up
a large can of worms

I went to the VA hospital and was treated as
an "hysterical" woman. The doctor asked me, when
I had reported my pain, "what would you like me to do
about that?" He's the doctor, I thought, he's supposed to
know what to do and he didn't. I cried in fustration and he
sent me to the psychiatrist. I was brought to a room, had a
male security guard and a male orderly pat search my person
and by the time I saw the doctor, I was beyond upset. He put me
on Prozac and sent me home. I had a follow-up appointment
with the Mental Health Outpatient Services clinic a month later.
The Prozac suppressed my appetite. For 30 days, I did not eat,
I did not sleep, I did not exist. I didn't want to go back. I went
back kicking and screaming. I was miserable. A friend brought
me to the VA Hospital's Administrator, who listened to my story
and began an investigation. I also was taken off medication and
my situation was reassessed. I was sent to the doctors I needed
and began a therapy program with a trama councelor.

I bet you're scared now. Well, don't be. My treatment
was in 1995 and since then, I have become aquainted with
the hospital. I have helped impliment changes at the
hospital to ensure that this treatment doesn't happen to any patient
ever again. Ladies, I want you to know that I make a difference
not only for me; but for you as well. The VA has learned that you
can't treat a woman to the same kind of treatment that men receive.
You can't put a sick woman vet in the same room with a male patient.
You can't have her on the same ward with 50 other men and one
"community" bathroom. We deserve privacy every bit as much
as the men do. Talk to your Women's Coordinator at the VA
Hospital, give her your ideas, you can't be heard if you don't
open your mouth. Make a difference.

What I am about to reveal will shock and sicken some of you
After 2 1/2 years of serving on the Women Veteran's Advisory
Committee at Castle Point, VAMC, I have been removed.
It seems that because I reported a doctor for violation
of doctor/patient confidentiality, I am to be removed
from the committee; because of this doctor's recent
addition to the committee. Apparently, she can't be
professional and I am to suffer for it. She, who is not
a veterans, has more value to the committee than I, a
mere woman veteran, do. This is despite the fact that
I have been responsible for implementing changes in the
way women vets are treated at the hospital. Despite the
fact that when I reported to this doctor of my assault
upon entering the hospital for the first time, she did
nothing about. Despite the fact that other women have
come forward and told of similar situations of her speaking
out of turn about their medical cases. I also want to
make mention of the fact that my doctor of 4 years has
also dumped me as a patient because of the incident.
When speaking to this doctor, I was told to get a life
and get a job because he could no longer help me.
The hospital director states that my privacy has not been
violated because mention of my "treatment" was made during
an interview in the NY Times. It did not state the reasons
nor did it state that the doctor felt I needed additional
treatment at the VAMC to a stranger, whom only mentioned
that she knew me. That is a violation of my privacy.
I might also add that I was diagnosed by the VA doctors,
the Social Securities doctors and judge and the doctors
at Yale Pain Management with the inability to hold a job
due to the constant pain I am suffering which interferes
with my ability to concentrate and live a normal life.
I'm being blackballed; but don't worry, ladies, the
fight has just begun. No one has the right to speak
about your medical condition to anyone and no one
has the right to taint your records. I will be seeking
a lawyer for this. I will not let them treat me like this
I will fight them for my rights.

Due to my illness, I moved to Florida in January 1999.
I wish I could say I'm doing better because of the move;
but I'm not.  Arthritis is a constant pain for me;  but
I am on Vioxx these days and Ultram, which gives some
relief.  I've found a doctor who's LISTENING TO ME
about what's wrong.  I could hardly believe she didn't just
write me off.  So far, so good.  It's been a hard fight; but I
think I'm winning.  At least I'm living, even if it's just to
piss off the VA so they have to pay me compensation!

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