to my 3 angles....
baby c, baby c, and baby c
always loved, always remembered
MY DEAREST ANGELS:
EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL GROWING UP, WHEN ASKED WHAT I WANTED TO BE WHEN I GREW UP, THE ANSWER WAS SIMPLE, I WANTED TO BE A MOMMY. MY MOTHER, YOUR GRANDMA, WAS THE BEST. SHE WAS A STAY AT HOME MOM RAISING 6 CHILDREN, YOU COULDN'T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER MOTHER! I WANTED TO BE JUST LIKE HER. I WANTED TO STAY HOME, CLEAN HOUSE, AND TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN.
WHEN I MET YOUR DADDY, I KNEW RIGHT AWAY THIS WAS THE MAN FOR ME! HE IS LOVING, GENTLE, CARING, AND THOUGHTFUL. HE SHARED MY DREAM OF A FAMILY, AND WE STARTED RIGHT AWAY. I STILL REMEMBER THE DAY THE PREGNANCY TEST WAS POSITIVE. I CRIED, YOUR DADDY SMILED, WE DID A "HIGH FIVE" AND WE BOTH JUST KNEW OUR LIVES WERE FINALLY STARTING. WE COULDN'T WAIT TO TELL THE WORLD THAT OUR DREAMS WERE COMING TRUE! WE STARTED PICKING OUT NAMES, COLORS, AND CLOTHES. WE TALKED ABOUT SCHOOLS, COLLEGE, AND FUTURES. NOTHING COULD'VE MADE US HAPPIER!
I REMEMBER THE DAY AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE. THEY TOLD ME YOU WERE 3! WHAT JOY! 3 AT ONCE! I GIGGLED, I CRIED, I LAUGHED AND I WAS HAPPY!
I REMEMBER THE NEXT WORDS OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS, "THERE ARE NO HEARTBEATS. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAVEN'T MISCARRIED. WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE THEM."
I WAS DEVASTATED! THIS COULDN'T BE! I REMEMBER THE PHONE CALL TO YOUR DADDY AT WORK. I DON'T REMEMBER THE DRIVE THERE TO PICK HIM UP. I REMEMBER HE CRIED ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL. I REMEMBER THE TESTS AT THE HOSPITAL. AND I REMEMBER THE DOCTOR SAYING THAT THERE WAS NOTHING HE COULD DO, HE COULDN'T "PERFORM" THE D-N-C FOR ANOTHER 2 DAYS. THE ONLY THING I REMEMBER FOR THE NEXT 2 DAYS WAS THAT I PRAYED SO VERY VERY HARD TO GOD THAT HE WOULD START YOUR HEARTS. I PRAYED THAT HE WOULD TAKE MY LIFE AND NOT YOURS. I BEGGED YOU TO TURN OVER AND SMILE FOR THE CAMERAS. SOMETIME IN THOSE DAYS, YOUR DADDY HAD THE AWFUL, HORRIBLE JOB OF CALLING OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. HE HAD TO WATCH HELPLESSLY AS I BROKE DOWN. HE TRIED SO HARD TO BE THERE FOR ME, ALL ALONG, HIS WORLD WAS CRASHING DOWN TOO.
I REMEMBER THE DAY AT THE HOSPITAL, ONLY PARTS OF IT. I REMEMBER LYING ON THE TABLE, STARING UP AT THE LIGHTS, AND BEGGING YOUR FORGIVENESS. I WAS HYSTERICAL. I REMEMBER THE NURSES CRYING AS THEY GAVE ME MORE ANTHESIA. AND THEN I REMEMBER NOTHING.
I REMEMBER COMING HOME, AND FRIENDS AND FAMILY CALLING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SAID. I REMEMBER THAT SOMEONE BROUGHT A MEATLOAF OVER, SO YOUR DADDY AND I WOULD EAT. I REMEMBER THE PAIN THE NEXT MORNING. I SAID IT WAS CRAMPS, BUT I BELIVE IT WAS THE HOLE IN MY HEART, 3 VERY BIG HOLES. I CRIED, I SCREAMED, I LOCKED MYSELF AWAY FROM THE WORLD. HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED? WHAT DID I DO? I DIDN'T BLAME GOD. NOT ONCE. I BLAMED MYSELF. OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING I HAD DONE IN THE PAST CONDEMNED YOU AND ME.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WERE BOYS, OR GIRLS, OR BOTH. I'LL NEVER KNOW. I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO NEXT. THERE COULDN'T BE A MEMORIAL SERVICE. NO CASKETS, NO FLOWERS, NO GUESTBOOK, NO HEADSTONE. NOTHING. I WAS SO AFRAID THAT I COULDN'T GIVE YOU THE PROPER REMEMBERENCE. I WORE A NECKLACE EVERYDAY, THAT HAD 3 TINY DIAMONDS IN IT. THIS WAS MY MEMORIAL. THIS KEPT YOU CLOSE TO MY HEART. .....I LOST THE NECKLACE. PANIC STRUCK. BUT I REALIZED THAT YOU WERE NOT IN A NECKLACE, YOU WERE IN MY HEART, AND I WOULD NEVER FORGET YOU, YOU WOULD BE REMEMBERED ALWAYS! YOUR DADDY BOUGHT A CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT THAT YEAR, WITH 3 LITTLE ANGELS ON IT. YOU COULD NOW SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH US! OH HOW I WISH YOU WERE HERE. YOU WOULD LOVE YOUR GRANDPARENTS, YOUR AUNTS, YOUR UNCLE, YOUR COUSINS, AND YOUR GOD PARENTS. YOU WOULD LOVE ME, YOU WOULD LOVE YOUR DADDY. HE WOULD BE THE BEST DADDY TOO.
I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS. I FEEL YOUR PRESENCE. AND WHEN I NEED IT THE MOST, I FEEL YOUR HUGS.
IT WAS 4 YEARS AGO NOW THAT I LOST YOU. YOU ARE STILL LOVED, AND REMEMBERED. A MOTHER'S LOVE DOESN'T STOP AT DEATH. WE WILL BE REUNITED AGAIN, YOU, ME, AND DADDY. I BELIEVE YOU ARE OUR GUARDIAN ANGELS SENT FROM GOD TO GUIDE US. WE STILL HAVEN'T HAD ANY CHILDREN. YOU 3 WERE OUR ONLY ANGELS. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, BUT I KNOW THAT GOD NEEDED YOU MORE THAN US. I STILL CRY, AND WHEN I DO, IT'S YOUR HANDS WIPING THE TEARS FROM MY EYES. IT'S YOUR ARMS HOLDING ME AND YOUR LITTLE WHISPER SAYING THAT YOU'RE ALRIGHT, WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN SOON.
MOMMY AND DADDY LOVE YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH. WE MISS YOU AND THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. THANK YOU FOR THE PRECIOUS MOMENTS OF JOY THAT YOU BROUGHT US, ALTHOUGH SHORT, VERY VERY PRECIOUS.
UNTIL THEN,
MOMMY AND DADDY
this memorial was made special for my triplets by another mommy with empty arms...it is a link to her site that is much comfort and brings peace to anybody that has lost an angel... please stop in and take a look around the wall of angels... thank you kelly, from all of us!
if you or anybody you know is or has gone through a similar situation, please, please get in touch with me. i'm always looking for someone else to share stories and memories with. i've always got a shoulder available.
back to moni's home page
read the love letter my husband gave me...bring tissues!
meet my pets, tia and kittykat
spend a moment dedicated to a firefighter
if you like my graphics and such...go here
see pictures of us - very cool applet!!!
these webrings have offered me the chance to meet some very wonderful people that i would not have had the chance to meet otherwise. please visit some of these sites. if you have a guardian angel such as mine, or if you have lost a loved one, no matter the age or circumstance, you will want to check these places out.
 |
This Empty Arms Ring site is owned by monica carrington. Click for the |
 |
  This Gone, But Not Forgotten site is owned by monica carrington. Want to join the Gone, But Not Forgotten? |
|---|
| [Skip Prev] [Prev] [Next] [Skip Next] [Random] [Next 5] [List Sites] |
| [Previous 5 Sites] [Previous] [Next] [Next 5 Sites] [Random Site] [List Sites] |
 |
This Place to Remember Webring site is owned by monica carrington Join the |
please feel free
to send me an icq message telling me your thoughts on my site, or
just your thoughts in general. whether i'm on line right now or
not, i will get your message and respond. if you've got icq, send
your number, if not, send your email, (and get icq now!)
this page was a very difficult one for me to put together. i wanted to share my story and try to explain to my babies above what mommy and daddy went through. i want them to always know that we miss them terribly. i relived a lot of memories writing this out, some good and some not so good. a lot of tears went into this page. i want to thank you for coming by . i know it's kindda long, but it's my way of keeping the memory of my babies alive. again, thank you for helping keep their memory alive. God Bless
this background set and many many other beautiful ones can be found here
|
|
Build Your Free Home PageVisit other great pages on:Family
& KidsFamily & Kids
Build Your Free Home Page
Visit other great pages on: People & Chat>People
& Chat Relationships>Relationships
FamilyFamily