GRITS AND COUNTRY HAM

By: Kathryn M. Ridlehoover

There is one meal that identifies a Southerner, a rebel true.

Naw... it ain't collard greens, fried okra or catfish stew.

It's a simple supper of grits and country ham.

The best "darn" grits and country ham that am.

Red-eyed gravy flavored with a little coffee grounds,

gobs of real butter and potato biscuits brown,

homemade pickles, jams and marmalade.

These are the goods from which supper will be made.

How does this meal get to our blue willow plate?

It's a Southern ritual. But do not mistake

everything I'm 'bout to tell

is written on a paper, hidden in the old church bell.

The corn is left in the fields to harden in the heat

to become seed corn, grits, or grain for cattle to eat.

The women pick and shuck the corn when it's harvest time,

and put the separate ears into bins that once held lime.

The seed corn is carefully stored for use in the coming year

and the grain corn is put into barns or silos over there.

The rest of the corn is ground into those tasty southern grits

there at the old mill where Uncle Joe Bob sits.

It's a ramshackled old building along side a babbling rill

that produces the best grits this side of Jackson's Hill.

Every day, 'ceptin' Sunday, when the water wheel groans

the corn is coarsely ground as water turns the old mill stones.

If the rill runs dry, the corn would be ground

by Jack Trapper's horse Charlie and a horse named Clown

Jack runs the mill in the same manner in which he was taught

by his Grandpa Tom, before he got caught

for making moonshine liquor in a copper still

over by the mill race and down under the hill.

Country hams begin their journey when there's a bite in the air

and the long awaited season for pig killin' is finally here.

The pigs are caught , slaughtered and cut up.

The liver and brains are saved in a big glass cup.

The ribs go one place, the pork chops go the tuther.

Chittlin's are always taken by Joe Bob"s mother.

But the hams, they are the super stars of the show.

It's off to the smoke house where the best ones go.

These treasures of the pig, hand rubbed with brine,

are stored in the smoke house to cure for a long time.

Then begins the smokin'. You can use any flavor wood,

but hickory, oak and pecan are mighty darn good.

The smokin' is the flavorin' of this gourmet meat

to give all true Southerners a truly Southern treat.

Then they are covered with a protective coating of lime

to keep the bugs from eating this Southern treat porcine

They hang in the smoke house in a place of family pride

to be used on special occasions or when a family member died.

When grits and country ham are prepared by Auntie Grace,

all the family members gather at the old home place.

They have come to sup and can hardly wait for grace to be said

so that their beings will be rejuvenated by the taste of gravy red.

When a Southerner invites you to a supper of grits and country ham

he is politely saying to you that he truly gives a damn.

Even tho' you may not like the odor of cooking country ham

or you feel you can't eat cured pork, you would prefer lamb,

please... do not refuse to partake of his food.

Your action to a Southerner would be ever so rude.

If you do, after he has been hospitable to you,

he ... thinking you is a Yankee, wearing Union blue,

jest might pull out his Betsy and take a shot at you.

PLAY IT AGAIN, SCARLETT !!!!!!

Brought to you by A Southerner out West

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