In Memory of my Beloved Husband,
Robert Eugene Hedwall

January 7, 1929 - October 23, 1998

How Lonely IAm My Dear

How lonely I am my dear
Since you are no longer here
I think of you all the day long
I miss you, I feel so forlorn.
I yearn for you all of the time
How wonderful it was when you were mine
You took my heart with you that day
When you were suddenly whisked away.

How lonely I am my dear
I hope to forego all I now fear
Your absence is more than I can tolerate
I feel so dismal, oh so desolate.
You will forever be a part of me
I will treasure your memory tenderly
One day we'll be together again
Of this I have no doubts, I am most certain.

Written by Josephine M.Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999


I Love You With All of My Heart

I love you with all of my heart
Though we are now so far apart
I miss you so much my dear
How I long for you to reappear
May the good and loving lord above
Embrace you with his eternal love.

I love you with all of my heart
How in the world do I make a new start
Is there anyone who knows of a cure
For all of the sadness I must endure
The many tears that I have shed
Are but a trickle compared to what's ahead.

I love you with all of my heart
And wonder what my great loss will impart
Your caring, endearing and loving ways
Shall sustain me through the coming days
But it is indeed with great anticipation
That I look forward to the end of our separation.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c)  1999

It's Only Been Three Months Since You've been Gone
It's only been three months since you've been gone
And I am left here all alone
I think of how it used to be
When you were here along with me

It's only been three months since you've been gone
The sound of your laughter lingers on
Remember how we laughed and had such fun
How you enjoyed the warmth of the morning sun.

It's only been three months since you've been gone
Your voice would be so welcomed if only on the phone
I longingly gaze upon your pictures
And marvel at your wonderful features.

It's only been three months since you've been gone
My pain and sorrow are far from done
I pray and hope my heartache will ease
I humbly ask you Lord, please grant me peace.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999


Happy St. Valentine's Day My Dear Husband

This happy valentine is being sent your way
By your loving spouse who wants to say
How blessed I feel to have been your wife
I only wish it would have been for life.

I shall always remember the night we met
How we pranced and danced, how our future was set
Although it was some years before we wed
I firmly believe our paths were divinely led.

Our nine year marriage was a happy union
You were always loving and tender in our communion
And now that we no longer are together
You will  fondly live in my heart forever.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999

It Seems I Cry a Lot These Days

It seems I cry a lot these days
I am reminded of you in so many ways
Since you've been gone I'm merely existing
Life without you is almost not worth living.

It seems I cry a lot these days
My emotional state has been like a maze
The many memories of our past happy life
Cannot take your place, but will have to suffice.

It seems I cry a lot these days
I look for some sign but there's not a trace
Of the man I married and long to see
And bid him to spend some time with me.

It seems I cry a lot these days
The tears alleviate the pain I now face
I must not suppress what I am feeling
To do so I fear might leave me reeling

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999


My "Gentle" Gentleman

I cannot forget when we met that night
You were Sir Galahad, a shining-armored knight
You courted me for many moons
We danced our way through many tunes.

It wasn't long before we knew
Our love for each other was real and true
You showered me with your love and affection
I shall always cherish your constant attention.

You will be remembered for many good deeds
What a "gentle" gentleman you were indeed
I shall never forget your thoughtfulness
For you brought me so much happiness.

And now that you no longer are here
I want so much to feel you are near
The memory of you will definitely be
A very consoling influence on me.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999

Life Without You

I haven't gazed upon your face
These past four months and two days
My life at present is somewhat more bearable
Despite the fact you are no longer available.

Though life without you has not been easy
I have ventured out and attempted to keep busy
I realize that I will never, ever be the same
I cannot help but wonder, who's to blame.

I don't believe I shall ever meet
Another soul as kind and sweet
You were truly an exceptional being
Who zealously loved to be among the living.

Your departure had a profoundly sad affect on me
That's left me pondering what my future is to be
Once I can bid you a fond farwell
How I fare without you, only time will tell.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999


Always Loving, Always Loved

The world is now a lonelier place
My mind is somewhat still in a daze
Life no longer holds much pleasure
I no longer relish all of my leisure.

I miss the good times we used to have
I long to rejoice and to once again laugh
But now that my outlook on life is not bright
I will strive to look towards life's delights.

I shall always treasure the years we shared
Words cannot express how deeply I cared
Our love for each other was all that was necessary
We were eagerly awaiting our tenth anniversary.

I shall never forget your zest for life
It intensified our relationship as husband and wife
There is no doubt you were as gentle as a dove
You were always loving, always loved.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999

I Still Miss You So Very Much

I still miss you so very much
I know there is no hurry, no need to rush
But I know one day I must let you go
The thought simply leaves me feeling low.

I miss you every day and every night
How long will I have to put up a fight
To keep from shedding tears still pent-up inside
How much longer must they abide.

You were my dear husband, my best friend
I only wish that I could comprehend
The reason you had to depart so soon
Leaving me here in all of this gloom.

Now I must try to make a new life
Though my heart's desire is to remain your wife
One day, it's been said, there will come a time
When I can once again feel joy sublime.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright (c)1999


Happy 70th Birthday My Dear Husband

Happy birthday on this the 70th anniversary of your birth
You'll be celebrating it in heaven instead of here on earth
Since you left me in the early hours of that dreadful October morn
I shall remember January 7th the day that you were born.

Though I am grateful for the many birthdays we had together
I wish I could celebrate one more, instead of feeling bitter
So blow out the candles on your birthday cake my dear
And I will endeavor not to shed another tear.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999

Happy Anniversary My Dear Husband

On this our tenth wedding anniversary
I wish we could sip a glass of champagne and tarry
Since you cannot participate in this splending of traditions
I shall reflect on all of our past happy celebrations.

You came into my life when I was very lonely
I knew from the start you were for me the one and only
Throughout the years we only had eyes for one another
And vowed that our love would last forever.

Sadly, life it seems had other plans for us
Which for me resulted in such a tremendous loss
Now I wonder how I can go on living
Without your love and with all of this grieving.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999


When Will This Heartache at Long Last End

There isn't anything I wouldn't do
To have you back home with me once more
You just would not believe how very much I miss you
I question why I must continue to shed tears galore.

When will this heartache at long last end?
How much longer before my broken heart can heal?
When will I finally begin to mend?
Allowing me once again to enjoy life with appeal.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c)1999

What Am I To Do Without You

Lonely days and empty nights
Are they now to be my constant plights?
If only I were granted one more visit
The sight of you would be a welcomed respite.

What am I to do without you?
I simply do not have a clue
You were my constant companion
That no one else can replace, in my opinion.

What will life have to offer me tomorrow?
Perhaps a lessening of my deep sorrow?
But whatever the future has in store for me
Hereafter, together we are not to be.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c)1999


A visit to the Cemetery

I went to pay you a visit at the cemetery this afternoon
And again I wondered why you were taken away so soon
I thought of your beloved father who lived to be ninety seven
And was granted a long life before he went to heaven.

Your marker is now in place at your gravesite
I stood and gazed upon it in the bright sunlight
And as I lay my hand on the letters of the cold gray stone
I wished with all my heart that I had not been left all alone.

I just cannot conceive how I am to go on without you
When I only feel so lonely, so sad and so very blue
I am consumed with thoughts of you, day in and day out
You will be on my mind and in my heart forever, no doubt.

My disposition has been extremely downhearted
Sorrow replaced my happiness since we've been parted
Should my enthusiasm for life one day return to me
May it take away the misery, and at long last set me free.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c)1999

I Prayed for a Miracle But it Wasn't Meant to be

I prayed for a miracle but it wasn't meant to be
The dearest man I ever knew was taken away from me
I wanted him to continue to thrive and to live
He had so much love and happiness to give.

I oftentimes thanked my lucky stars
For all of the blessings I had received thus far
But I sincerely felt especially blessed
When my husband and I were happily wed.

Why was I not granted my prayerful request
Not to take my dear husband to his final rest
But I knew as he lay upon his bed so motionless
My life would be filled with much lamenting and sadness.

There isn't much more that I can do or say
With regards to the events of that terrible day
So I will forge ahead to a new beginning
Expecting to find an end to all of my misgivings.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999

Unanswered Questions

How do I return to some semblance of normalcy
How do I let go of my emotional dependency
How do I enjoy whatever time I have left here on earth
How do I become aware of it's value and it's worth.

When will I once again behold your handsome face
When will I feel the warmth of your loving embrace
When will we at last share our lives in eternity
When will our reunion provide a modicum of serenity.

Where do I go to begin the healing process
Where in the world do I discover a source of solace
Where do I search for the many answers I now seek
Where do I encounter an atmosphere that is less bleak.

Why were we destined to be wrenched apart
Why am I now forced to create a new start
Why couldn't our lives have gone on and on
Why, oh why must I now continue on my own.

Written by Josephine M. Hedwall
Copyright(c) 1999

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God? Mica 6:8

Thank you for visiting my webpage.  I wrote these poems shortly after my husband, Bob died.  I wrote the first one on November 21, 1998 and penned the last one on March 23, 1999. 

Bob was a kind, loving, generous, wonderful man and I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to share a few years of his life.  We were very happy.  He will always be in my heart.

Josephine M. Hedwall
September 10, 1999