WELCOME TO THOSE
FUNNY KIDS
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WHILE INTENTLY WATCHING
US MAKE PORK SAUSAGE WITH A NEIGHBOR, OUR 4 YEAR OLD GRANDAUGHTER DIDNT
SAY A WORD.DURING THE DRIVE HOME,HOWEVER SHE MADE AN INTERESTING OBSERVATION:"YOU
SURE PUT FUNNY PANTY HOSE ON THAT SAUSAGE.
GENEVIEVE THOLE
FEELING BRAVE,MY GRANDDAUGHTER,
ASKED HER MOTHER TO PIERCE HER EARS."ALL RIGHT DEAR," HER MOTHER AGREED."
BUT I HAVE TO PUT ICE ON YOUR EAR LOBES SO IT WON'T HURT.
SHE GRIMACED AND SAID
"OH ALL RIGHT, WOULD YOU WARM UP THE ICE FIRST ?"
BETTY SMITH
HER FIRST TIME FISHING
WITH A ROD AND REEL, MY GRANDDAUGHTER WAS STRUGGLING TO GET THE LINE INTO
THE LAKE.TRYING TO BE HELPFUL,HER DAD CAST THE BOBBER WAY OUT OVER THE
WATER. "BUT DADDY,"SHE CRIED WHEN HE HANDED THE ROD BACK,"MY EYES DON'T
REACH THAT FAR!"
DELLA JUST
AFTER PLANTING OUR VEGETABLE
GARDEN ALL MORNING,MY DAUGHTER,KAREN,AND I SAT DOWN TO A LUNCH OF HAMBURGERS.SHE
ATE QUIETLY FOR A WHILE,AND THEN STARTED PICKING THE SESAME SEEDS OFF HER
BUN,"MOM,SHE ASKED SERIOUSLY,"IF WE PLANT THESE SEEDS,WILL THEY GROW INTO
HAMBURGERS ?"
CATHERN VEENENDAAL
MY THREE YEAR OLD GRANDSON
WAS UNDERFOOT IN THE KITCHEN SO HIS MOTHER SENT HIM OUTSIDE TO "GIVE THE
FLOWERS A DRINK",AWAY HE WENT,ONLY TO RETURN IN A MINUTE."JON,I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE THE FLOWERS A DRINK,"HIS MOM REMINDED HIM. WITH
A QUICK SHRUG,HE REPLIED,"I COULDN'T FIND THEIR MOUTHS ."
MRS.BILLEYE HINES
WHEN OUR IDENTICAL TWIN
DAUGHTERS WERE IN FIRST GRADE,A FRIEND WANTED TO KNOW HOW THE TEACHER COULD
TELL THEM APART.
"EASY,ONE OF THEM EXPLAINED,"WE
HAVE DIFFERENT NAMES!"
MRS.DONALD NELSON
BEFORE BEDTIME,MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
ASKED HER TWO YOUNGSTERS TO CLEAN UP THEIR PLAYROOM.SOON,WE HEARD THE SOUND
OF TOYS AND BOOKS BEING PUT AWAY,AND THE OLDER GIRL GIVING ORDERS TO HER
YOUNGER BROTHER LIKE A FOUR-STAR GENERAL. FINALLY,MUTINY SET IN. THE LITTLE
BOY CAME STOMPING INTO THE KITCHEN AND DECLARED FURIOUSLY,"SHE'S IN THERE
ACTING JUST LIKE A MOTHER !"
MILDRED SHERRER
IN THE MIDST OF BREAKFAST,MY
GRANDSON,3 1/2 ,PAUSED BETWEEN SPOONFULS OF OATMEAL TO ASK HIS MOTHER,"DOES
GOD LIVE RIGHT HERE IN MY HEART ?" "SURE HE DOES LUKE,"SHE REPLIED LOVINGLY.
"OH,HE RESPONDED. THEN HE ASKED IN A WORRIED LOOK,"WHEN I EAT MY OATS,WON'T
THEY FALL ON HIS HEAD ?"
BETTY POTTS
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF
A BRISK WALK WITH ME,MY 3 YEAR OLD GRANDSON CAME TO A SUDDEN HALT.
"I HAVE TO REST FOR A
MINUTE," HE INFORMED. "MY FEET RAN OUT OF BREATH!" ARDYTH VOS
A RED HOT SWEET MUST
HAVE TICKLED MY GRANDDAUGHTERS TONGUE. SHE SWALLOED AND TOLD ME,"THIS CANDY
MAKES MY MOUTH FEEL LIKE SUMMER!"
DORIS DAVIS
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,OUR
FAMILY WAS VISITING FRIENDS. DAUGHTER SARAH WAS EXCITED TO HEAR SOMEONE
HAD SEEN EIGHT DEER IN A FIELD NEARBY. "WAS THERE A LITTLE FAT MAN WITH
THEM ?" SHE ASKED HOPEFULLY.
MARTHA ARN
MY SIX YEAR OLD GRANDSON
WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS VISIT WITH THE DENTIST. "HE HAD THIS WHITE MASK
OVER HIS FACE,I GUESS HE DIDN'T WANT TO SMELL MY BREATH !"
D.CHASE
MOTHER TRIED A DIFFERENT CHICKEN RECIPE,BAKING IT WITH THE SKIN ON. LITTLE BROTHER HAD NEVER SEEN IT SERVED THAT WAY."I THINK,"HE VENTURED AFTER A LOOK AT THE BUMPY SKIN,"THIS CHICKEN MUST HAVE THE CHILLS." MRS.ARNOLD OLDENBURG
GRANDSON ADAM,6 VISITED
ONE DAY AND REPORTED THE TOOTH FAIRY HAD LEFT HIM SOME MONEY UNDER HIS
PILLOW. WHEN ADAM WANTED TO SEE MY TEETH,I TOOK OUT MY UPPER PLATE TO SHOW
HIM.HIS EYES GREW WIDE AND HE CONFIDED,"GRANDMA,YOU COULD REALLY MAKE SOME
MONEY !"
NETTIE ZOOK
I TAKE CARE OF CHILDREN
IN MY HOME.ONCE A 3-YEAR OLD CAME UP TO ME AND REPORTED PROUDLY
'I FOUND A LITTLE TRASH
CAN." THEN HE HANDED ME A THIMBLE.
JOYCE E. MAY
SO THEY WOULDN'T WORRY,MY
DAUGHTER TRIED TO DELICATELY DESCRIBE TO HER CHILDREN WHAT GRANDMOTHER'S
SURGERY WOULD BE LIKE.SHE TOLD THEM THE DOCTOR WOULD JUST CUT GRANDMA'S
TUMMY THEN SEW IT RIGHT BACK UP AGAIN. SHARI,THE YOUNGEST,THOUGHT OVER
THE PROCEDURE AND ASKED,'HOW IS THE DOCTOR GOING TO GET GRANDMA UNDER THE
SEWING MACHINE ?"
MRS.ELI MILLER
OUR SON CAME HOME WITH
A REMNANT OF THE CARPET HE'D PICKED TO COVER THE FLOORS. WHEN MY GRANDDAUGHTER
ASKED WHAT IT WAS FOR,HE INFORMED HER IT WAS WALL-TO-WALL CARPETING.
SHE LOOKED AT THE LIVING
ROOM,THEN BACK TO THE SAMPLE AND QUESTIONED "WHAT'S IT GOING TO DO.........
GROW ?" LOUISE BREMER
JUSTIN'S GREAT-GRANDMOTHER
SURPRISED HIM WITH A KISS AT A FAMILY REUNION. NOT USED TO SUCH BIG DOSES
OF AFFECTION,MY SON VIGOROUSLY WIPED HIS FACE WITH HIS SHIRTSLEEVE. "ARE
YOU WIPING OFF MY KISS ?" GRANNY ASKED,EYES TWINKLING.
WITHOUT HESTITATION,JUSTIN
REPLIED,"I'M JUST SCATTERING IT AROUND A LITTLE ."
JODI BACH
WHEN MY FRIENDS GRANDDAUGHTER
COMPLAINED OF A TUMMY ACHE,SHE TOLD THE LITTLE GIRL,"YOUR STOMACH'S PROBABLY
EMPTY.....LET'S GET SOMETHING TO EAT."
LATER THAT DAY,THE MINISTER
PAID A VISIT. WHEN HE MENTIONED HAVING A HEADACHE,THE CHILD ASKED SYMPATHEYICALLY,"OH,IS
YOUR HEAD EMPTY ?"
PATSY SHUE
WATCHING WIDE-EYED,AS
HIS FATHER BURPED HIS NEW BABY SISTER,OUR 3-YEAR OLD SON ADVISED."DON'T
HIT HER TOO HARD,DAD...YOU'LL
KNOCK OUT HER BATTERIES.
BRONWYN HOGAN
AS HER GRANDMOTHER CUT
CORN FROM THE COB,OUR 3-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER LOOKED CONFUSED. AFTER A WHILE
,SHE INQUIRED "GRANDMA,WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ALL THOSE CORN BONES
?"
TERESA KEISLING
MOLLY,MY FRIENDS YOUNGEST
DAUGHTER,SURPRISED ME WITH A SECRET DURING AN AFTERNOON WALK.
"DID YOU KNOW I WAS BORN
WITHOUT FEET ?" SHE REVEALED. WHEN I QIZZICALLY ASKED FOR DETAILS,SHE EXPLAINED."I
WAS READING MY BABY BOOK,AND ONE PAGE SAYS :'FIRST NOTICED FEET AT 6 MONTHS'."
KAREN HELBERG
MY HUSBAND,AN AVID PHOTOGRAPHER,ASKED
US TO BE QUIET WHILE HE ATTEMTED TO GET THE PERFECT PICTURE OF BIRDS FEEDING
OUTSIDE OUR DINING ROOM WINDOW. AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES OF SILENCE,OUR
4-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHISPERED IN HIS EAR."DADDY I DON'T THINK THEY'RE GONNA
SMILE FOR YOU."
DEBBIE LUCE