I knew that geckos (God's natural "insecticide") living in our home would eat cockroaches. Deciding not to wait for these "lizards" to do their job, I took a can of roach spray out of my suitcase. I would control the animal population in my home myself! Little did I know that in the months ahead, God would began to teach me a big lesson about thinking my ways were better than His...

My husband, Donn, had accepted a contract with the American Samoan Government to work with the deaf and blind. This was to be his first full time job after receiving an M.S. in Rehabilitation Counseling. We dreamed of finally starting our family here. We felt certain that relaxation was the key to conception. The fast paced existence we had "endured" during Donn's last year in graduate school in Southern California appeared to have contributed to my inability to bear children. Although we had only been married 3 years, my 38 year old body helped contribute to the pressure we felt. After spending over a year and a half using a basal thermometer to regulate lovemaking, as well as making several visits to a San Diego infertility clinic, our only "success" had ended in a miscarriage.

Our first priority after unpacking, however, was to find an island church where English was spoken. We "hitched" a ride on that first Sunday and found a small interdenominational fellowship that shared a church building with a Samoan congregation. We were surprised to meet there, a couple who had also come from San Diego. We became such fast friends, Donn and I barely remembered our desire to avoid overcommitment when we agreed to help Ed and Sandra direct a Christian youth group. It was to be made up of teenagers from every imaginable background: Samoan, Tongan, American, missionary kids, island kids, and children of short term contract workers. In my heart I knew God wanted us to help, but my mind wanted to say "no!".

We enjoyed our evenings and outings with the youth group, but it wasn't long before some of the old pressures began reappearing. Donn was experiencing a great deal of frustration with his job. An approaching deadline meant homework many evenings for him. As for me, after two solid months of cleaning, caulking and painting our home to discourage further cockroach infestations, I was seeing our finances dwindle and took a job with the Samoa News. Although the job was only part time, I sometimes didn't get home until the middle of the night because of printing deadlines. After six months, there was still no baby in sight. We might as well have been back in Southern California.

After a Christmas eve service that Donn and I organized and the youth group put on (the memory of which still brings tears to my eyes), we stopped working with the youth group in a futile effort to open our calendar up and provide more time for "us". After many more demoralizing months using my morning temperature to help determine the perfect time for conception, we finally decided that perhaps God had something else in store for us - adoption. Friends who had adopted a Polynesian infant, told us the best way to find a baby was to tell everyone we knew about our desire and, sooner or later, a pregnant woman would be found who did not wish to keep her child. We followed their instructions and waited...

Four months later, I received a call from a Tongan "housegirl" whom we knew through friends. Her excitement was contagious. "I have a baby for you, a Tongan baby!" My entire body went numb as she continued. "It will be born soon and the mother is the sister of a friend of mine. The parents are very handsome and I know they will have a beautiful baby!" I thanked her profusely and made arrangements for Donn and I to meet the mother during the following week.

Donn and I were estatic. We felt like we were finally pregnant! Not only that, but we had secretly desired a Tongan baby! Although the Tongans (most of whom lived in American Samoa as aliens) were primarily cast into menial jobs, we had observed in them a strong work ethic and desire for education. The two Tongan boys in our youth group had displayed quiet strength and leadership qualities. These were character traits we certainly desired for our child!

Our meeting with Mele, the mother, was very friendly, although a bit difficult because of her limited English. Our housegirl friend served as interpreter. We assured Mele that we would indeed raise her child in a Christian home and see that it received a good education. She told us that she was not married to the father. Wanting to know as much as possible about the family to share someday with our child, we asked Mele what the father's name was. Her answer left both Donn and I wide-mouthed with surprise. "Matini" was a 16 year old boy from the youth group. We already knew both he and his brother well!

Besides preparing for our upcoming parenthood, much of the next month and a half was spent planning a trip to Tonga to be made in August while my parents were visiting us. We hoped to visit the villages where Mele and Matini were born in order to begin documenting our child's heritage to someday pass along to him or her. Our four days in Nuku'alofa, the capitol of this island kingdom, was pure pleasure. We felt like we'd finally found the paradise we'd left San Diego for over a year previously. The "Friendly Islanders" we met lived up to their knickname as we browsed through the marketplace, sampled local cuisine and toured the island in a rental car. Being with these people helped us love this unborn baby of ours even more. We wrote a letter to our child expressing our feelings and mailed it from Tonga. When he or she is older and can understand, our letter will be opened.

In spite of our adoption plans, I still continued to take my temperature when I first awoke in the morning - mostly out of habit. About two weeks after our return to Samoa, I was rather puzzled to discover that my temperature hadn't dropped mid-cycle as I'd come to expect. After several mornings in a row like this, my confusion turned to the realization that we were suddenly expecting two babies!

Because of my previous miscarriage, we knew that there were still no guarantees for this child of our own to be born. But, as far as we were concerned, all plans were still "go" for our Polynesian baby. We hired a local attorney, had a home study done, and were preparing for an early court date soon after the baby's arrival. Our planning came to an abrupt halt in late September as an adoption "miscarriage" struck. Matini's sister, Ana, arrived from Honolulu and informed us that she was going to take Mele's baby home with her and raise it herself. Nothing we said would change her mind. Later that same day, our shock turned to open weeping as we opened a package from Donn's parents containing a diaper bag and baby clothes for their grandchild-to-be. My emotions were doing battle as I was suddenly gaining and losing a baby simultaneously!

Fortunately, our grief was short lived as a few days later Ana returned to tell us that she had called a family meeting during which Matini and his brother had spoken up in our behalf. This time, tears of joy streamed down my face as our hope was restored with her words: "We decided that you can have the baby." Suddenly, I saw God's greater purpose in our service to Him through the youth group. God knew the desire of our heart. He was able to overcome the obstacles that we thought were insurmountable - the hectic schedule, the infertility and my age. Jesus' words became real: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matt. 6:33)

"Added" unto us on October 31, 1986, was Martin Andrew, our handsome son. He came to live with us when he was 3 days old. On December 3, 1986, we added our last name to his when his adoption became final. Six months later, on May 27, 1987, in Akron, Ohio, Heather Joanne was born.