What Do I Know about Anything?
What I can do:
Eat chili from a plate without using any tableware.
Sit for 8 hours at my computer sleep 8 and work 8 and still have time to eat.
Make my wife angry by telling her how good she looks in those sweatpants I bought her.
Try enough shareware that my Windows system directory is 200 Megabytes.
Uninstall complete application suites and only lose 12 Megabytes.
Backup a 1 Gigabyte hard drive onto 44 MB Cartridges.
Print 6 Full-color glossy pictures and burn $70 worth of HP Ink.
Surf the Internet for Weeks and not learn anything .
Hit the "back" button on my browser 300 times if somebody asks me what I was doing yesterday.
Make excuses.
What I can't do:
Stop it.
Eat cotton candy without getting some in my eye.
Make my bed without having something touching the floor.
Put anything together by reading instructions.
Collect more than 3 of anything without losing the first one.
Beat my computer at Chess.
Sell anybody anything. If I price it low, they think something's wrong with it!
Eat Chitlins. (Chitterlings?)
Swim uphill.
Find the top of my desk.
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