----- WHO'S WHO IN HAM RADIO -----

ADVANCED: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water, and
Gives policy to GOD.

GENERAL: Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with GOD.

CONDITIONAL: Leaps short buildings with a running jump
AND favorable winds...
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with GOD if special request is approved.


TECHNICIAN (Old): Barely clears a quonset hut
Looses tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.

NOVICE: Makes high marks on the wall when trying
to leap small buildings
Is run over by locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without
inflicting self-injury
Talks to animals.

TECH-PLUS: Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls.

NO CODE TECH: Falls over doorsteps when entering buildings
Says, "Look at the choo-choo"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself.

AMATEUR EXTRA: Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the track
Catches speeding bullets in their teeth
AND EATS THEM
Freezes water with a single glance
THEY ARE GOD !

Author Unknown; But rumor has it, that he has been demoted to 11 meters and is now a CBer, he can occasionally be heard Southbound and Down!