Here's a special story thats guaranteed to make you laugh!
Its a little long but well worth the reading!!  Thanks Sunny!
I'm not good at this story stuff but promised Nue I would write a story about someone who has been a great influence on my life.  Many many people have influenced me in many ways online and off-line.  Some have calmed me to a shy introverted little girl and others have really brought out the wild side ... some have done both. Anyways, anyone I have met has made me the person I am today and I want to thank all of you now for being a part of my life...HUGSSSSS!
 
I must tell you about my friend Debbie... who incidentally I have been engaged with as a partner in a sometimes more than wild business venture with.  Around 1986 I attended a weekend figure skating seminar for parent volunteers in Ontario's skating clubs.  About 7 of us went for the weekend from out club to a lodge in the Northern Wilderness...Debbie included.  We never really knew each other but we were to bunk together with a 3rd person in a room no bigger than a closet with a bunk bed in it ... her and I both rapidly jumped our claim to the bunks, leaving this 3rd person to be the floor mat ..hehehe.  We had a blast would be an understatement ..being the rookies we had to attend the seminars at 7:00am after going to bed around 5:00am ..and consuming a wee bit of intoxicants
Anyways, as time went on our friendship grew. Debbie fell in love with a wild guy named Bill.  Both of them being on their own and with kids moved in together to a life that was suppose to be harmonious bliss.  Bill was the owner of Ice Image Inc.  a video company that traveled around to different skating competitions to tape the skaters for their parents.  By this time we were all heavily involved in skating with all our kids and had become a close knit group within the club.  In the spring of 1992 tragedy struck the club as we learned that one of our recently former skaters went missing.  All of us were involved in the search party that went out looking for anything within the city.  Amongst the 1000 or so volunteers,  somehow Debbie, her kids and step kids and another close friend Barb all ended up searching the same area.  As sad as it was .. we all found a comfort in
knowing we were together working as a team.  As grownups we knew we had to be there for the teens involved in this search for their friend.  Once again a close bond had formed.  The results of this search did turn up nothing at that time, although the end result was devastating to everyone ..when we learned the body of Kristen French had been found.  Once again we had to be there for all the kids...to help them cope with this disaster. As time went on, we all moved on with the business at hand... skating!  Somehow we all made it through that season.  I was thrilled that Debbie & Bill had asked my oldest son to train and learn how to film with them. In February of 1993,  Bill & Debbie had landed the job of filming the Canadian Championships along with CTV. Everything was a hustle and bustle getting ready.. the tension and excitement were high to say the least for them.  Once again fate had taken a turn for the worst.  Bill's17 year old daughter, Cara, was murdered by her ex boyfriend.  They received the call while they were filming, and at that moment their whole life changed. During the trauma and pain of the preceding days Debbie showed courage and strength like I have never seen in anyone. The pain they both endured was heart wrenching, yet they both maintained with dignity and class.  Debbie went to the skating club to re-inforce to all the skaters that Cara's death was not related to Kristen's.  They held and hugged all of Cara's friends for comfort and support. Over the next 6 years Debbie & Bill have endured a lifetime of rollercoaster emotions with
going through the trial ... not once .. but twice.  Finally, the end was in sight and they were left in peace to deal with the final process of grieving for Cara.  Over the last few months our friendship has grown by multitudes and laughter truly is the best medicine.  Taking life as it comes and taking nothing for granted has become a lesson for me. I admire them both and love them dearly.
 
Recently, ..ohhh one blustery Tuesday in Feb. Debbie phoned me.  She had had enough .. she was going crazy..and has to escape.  She asked me if I had any plans then blurted out .."DON'T MAKE ANY!  WE ARE TAKING A TRIP!"   I hesitantly asked when?  THURSDAY ..we are going to the Dominican Republic ..it's cheaper if I bring you.... How could I turn down an offer like that?  On Thursday morning we were packed and ready to go... both our husbands, both named Bill by the way, drove us the 2 hours in a freak blizzard at 4:00am to the airport.  We went to check in, I showed my birth certificate.. Debbie looked a little surprize as she asked "Birth Certificate? I wasn't told I needed a birth certificate!"  My jaw dropped.. her Bill's jaw dropped as a gleam of insanity crept in his eyes... my Bill was circling the airport in the van cause her Bill decided that their dogs had to go for a ride with us to Toronto.  The airport kindly phoned the Dominican Republic to see if they would accept us .. well no .. not a chance.. in the meantime Debbie and I were trying to contact the travel agency .. Bill & Bill went home to figure out how to get her Certificate to us in about half an hour before the plane left.  As we waved to our plane leaving without us, Bill phoned to say an airport service would deliver her certificate to us in a few hours.  For the next 7 hours we strolled around the airport waiting to get ahold of the travel agent and for her certificate ..we became attached to the baggage buggy as a means of support. The agent could only arrange to have us on a flight on Sat.   2 days away!!!  We contemplated our options... dare we call the now labeled unstable
Bills to come pick us up or do we book into a hotel and stay for two days?  Well the answer was plain to see as we boarded the shuttle bus to the nearest reasonably priced hotel.... so we thought!!! .. As we drove along on the shuttle, we realized we were headed in the wrong direction and to a park and fly lot... This was the last straw....we both started laughing so hard the driver became concerned and offered to drive us to out hotel .. no charge!!!!  After checking in, we hit the bar and downed 2 B52's, sat in a seat under a palm tree, talked to a Jamaican waitress and pretended we were in the tropics ..life was good! Once we staggered back to our room to have a nap and decide what foreign burger we were going to order, a fit of giddiness overcame us both and once again we
laughed till we were crying.  This was short lived as a knock came on our door ..we were pleasantly surprize to see Debbie's Bill standing there... until we realized he drove back to Toronto in a blizzard to bring us some work to do. This was not good ....We decided to go out for dinner to an all you can eat buffet since we had transportation now .. unfortunately while in the restaurant, a sudden paleness overcame Debbie and she ran outside to upchuck what she had not yet eaten.  Bill and I let her sit in the van while we wolfed down our dinner..the restaurant felt sorry for her and didn't charge us for her dinner and even gave us a baked potato for her for later on that night.   We brought Debbie back to the motel and Bill and I decided to find a store for some pop and munchies ...by the way the blizzard got worse.  he asked if it was a bad time to ask her and me to do some work.. by this time ..I just glared fire and spat YES!!  He used good common sense at this point to decide to drive home in the worst blizzard this winter as opposed to staying the night.
 
Friday morning, after a good sleep everything looked much brighter as we tried to decide how to waste the day... First we went to the hotel gift shop to buy souvenirs ..we thought it would be real funny to buy Niagara Falls Post cards and send them home to our kids from the DR...The store owner thought it was hilarious and gave us some freebies.  LMAOOO!
We went back to the Sheridan Hotel in the airport to a little beauty shop and decided we should look our best to go into a foreign country...thus treating ourselves to a haircut...pluck here pluck there...antiwrinklecream..moisture cream.. antiovergreasy cream ectectect.  We did some shopping .. more souvenirs to send home hehehehee... then went back to out hotel to sit in the hottub and sip foreign domestic wine and pretend some more.  Finally Saturday morning came and we were on our way!!!!!!! This time nothing was going to stop us .. not even the stares by the airport personnel who recognized us by now as part of the furniture there!

I have a terrible fear of heights... as we got higher and higher in the sky, my fists got tighter and tighter... the beauty of the clouds and the blueness of the sky was breathtaking and probably the only
thing keeping me breathing.  breakfast on the plane was nice .. or would have been if I could let go of my seat to eat it ...(actually I did muster up the courage to eat).  We filled out these little yellow forms that we were told to hang on to cause they were visitor passes to the DR.  I spelled my name wrong I was so nervous letting go of my seat to write.  I did calm down a bit as we approached the islands and since we hadn't had anything to drink for a few hours were continuously sucking on Mintos candy.  Boy does your mouth get dry!!!  Debbie handed me little wad of something and said EAT IT! ...so I did!  The familiar taste of years gone by and Mintos and a dry mouth really don't go well together.  About 20 minutes later ..everything seemed to look sooooo much more vibrant!!! I was truly enjoying it until the plane turned left and  I was on the left hand side window seat... I hung on to the window tight as I could for fear of falling out as Debbie sat next to me almost peeing her pants laughing.  We circled the islands twice before landing.  Reality set in as we realized we were two middle aged women stoned out of our gourds walking into a Republican country which we knew nothing about.  A tropical band was playing  sweet music as we entered customs but the fear overcame me as I saw this Gigantic guard in a uniform checking everyone as we lined up.  I
was sweating profusely the closer we got ...of course it could have been the black slacks and wool jacket I had on.  By the time I got close enough to see that everyone was just handing him their visitor slips, I had started to relax again until Debbie handed him hers .. he let out a bellow .. you're suppose to keep half and started to laugh.  He grabbed mine, threw it over his shoulder and said in a booming voice"GET OUT OF HERE!" All the staff around him started laughing as Debbie and I clenched our purses close and kind cowered away. We picked up our luggage .. and walked toward a shuttle bus. A young man immediately picked up my luggage and started to walk away.  With superhuman strength I grabbed it back and screamed .. NO..thats MINE!!  A security guard
came over and said its ok he's taking it to your bus.. I was sooo embarrassed.. but then the guard said "tip him $5.00.  thats custom ...so I did. At the bus, the driver told us to board, but being the sly protective types we weren't going anywhere till our luggage was safely packed on the cart that the bus pulls behind it. Another young man picked up our luggage an loaded in the wooden cart..once again the security guard held up the $5.00 tip sign... so I did.   The bus drive to our resort was nothing short of an Indy Race down a goat path... they only slow down for speed bumps and wild donkeys.  Poultry running along the road must be suicidal.  The thrill of the ride (remember the condition we both were in) was seeing a man walking a bull down the side of the road with a rope
around the bulls horns. That one did me in... I roared with laughter!  We finally made it to our resort and were totally flabbergasted at the beauty of the ocean, and the tropical setting to which us snow birds were going to be part of.  Once again .. the bags were unloaded and we checked in and were about to embark on our treck to our villa,  which incidentally,  was located across the street from the resort and all uphill... a young man came out of nowhere and picked up our luggage.  I turned to a familiar security guard who once again held up the $5.00 fingers...and so I did.  BUT we were finally HERE!!!!! Our only warning was don't drink the water from the taps!  Drinking water was supplied in a plastic pitcher daily in your room!
 
First order of business ..get some decent sun and beach clothing on ..get a drink! We opened the door to our villa and felt instant relief as the outdated air conditioner rattled away  and the bathroom tap was leaking profusely but we didn't care!!! We got ourselves pool ready and headed out to relax! It was glorious!!!!!  A few drinks (Luperon Special) by the pool..a walk on the beach... a few drinks by another pool ...then another pool (there were 5 to chose from each with a free bar), had dinner which was a strange concoction of different fried foods in a buffet.  We went back to our room for a nap now that exhaustion was setting in.I noticed the drip was no longer dripping,
turned on the tap and there was NO water! It had been shut off due to problems and would be fixed soon! As I lay down on my bed I saw the strangest look on Debbie's face..her jaw dropped as she whispered "shhh don't move Marie!" Kinda stunned I whispered "WHY"? She pointed - LOOK ...climbing up my bed not two inches away from my right hip was a Salamander! ..I FROZE stifling my screams Debbie picked up a drink glass and captured the beast and put him outside. (We found it stone cold drunk the next morning still in the glass)  We were entertained that night by a dance troupe doing a tribute to the Blues Brothers and boy were they excellent!
 
Sunday morning was gorgeous as the sun sparkled off the teal green ocean.  Our choice of activity for the day was to lay on the beach and sleep.  It was wonderful... and no we didn't go topless although many around us were!  I have never seen so many middle aged topless women and middle aged speedoed men in my life!!!... and the only way we knew most of them were speedos was because SPEEDO was in big letters across the back ( you couldn't see the front for the overhang on most of the men)!  As I laid in slumber on my chair soaking up the sun I was startled by a booming sound of a jewelry vendor yelling LOOKIE LOOKIE CHEAPIE CHEAPIE ! .. Special Price ..Just for you Canada!!! LOOKIE LOOKIE! ..I kinda grumbled something about against my beliefs to shop for jewelry on Sunday and he went away..(I was still thinking of the $5.00 thing).  What a day!!!! Doing absolutely nothing but laying in the sun and sleeping ...and drinking exotic Luperon Specials...until the night fell and I went to move.  Did I mention I am very white to begin with? We found a BIGGG Aloe Vera plant growing outside our door and I think I used most of it that night!
 
My next thing on my agenda was to phone my most wonderful friend in Puerto Rico.  I loved talking to Nuevayol and Nishi!  You guys are the BEST!...HUGSSSSS
 
The next few days were very much the same as Sunday ..eat sleep drink sleep .. tell the vendors it's against my beliefs to shop on Monday, Tuesday, Wed. ect ... At one point we went up to the bar and I kinda hummed and hawed about having another luperon special.. The bartender mixed a pitcher of something red-pink and poured me one .. said "Chug" ..so i did...wowohwowohwow!
.. He poured me another ..said "Chug" ..so I did .... He poured himself one and me one and said on 3 ... and we did!  He then poured Debbie one, himself one, and me one ..and said CHUG! .. Debbie refused on learning it was tequila.. Did I mention I only had tequila one shot, once in my life before?... anyways ... the bartender took her drink poured it in mine .. and said "Chug" so I did ... Did you know my sunburn didn't hurt after that?  It's a miracle cure!
 
The dripping tap was finally getting on my nerves since I had the bed next to the bathroom so I called the front desk and tried to explain the problem to them.  The maintenance man showed up promptly with his plunger in tow... we fell over laughing and Debbie proceeded to tell him how to fix the tap ... once he was gone and silence reigned ..we went to the buffet room cause we were starved .. but sighhh..it wasn't opened yet. We strolled over to the shops including the mail place to mail off my postcards home. The sign said it takes about 4 weeks to get a letter abroad ..so we went to the little grocery store for some snacks cause we were starved ... $25.00 dollars later we were happy as clams with our bag of nachos, cheese dip, tube of Pringles and bottle of Coke!  Later that day as I took my stroll over to my favorite Aloe Vera plant, I noticed something stirring in the bushes ...there was this big beautiful black rabbit ..and not far behind was a lovely white one with black spots .. they were sooo cute!  OHH by the way I didn't realize by this time I was starting to stink from all the raw aloe Vera juice on me, but Debbie was too polite to say anything and just asked me to go sit on our villa porch and watch the sun. While in a moment of deep pondering our friendly bunny rabbits came by for a visit ..we started feeding them our $25.00 snacks hoping they would enjoy BBQ flavour Pringles as much as we did .. they seemed to like them.   This one young employee came walking by and I nonchalantly asked him if these rabbits were wild.. I fell over with laughter as he replied "No MAM .. VERYVERY GENTLE... THEY DON'T BITE!"  That one called for another drink
for sure!  It was time to get ready to go to dinner ... so trusting that the plumber had fixed the tap and I could turn it on..I did! .. Well... The spitting and sputtering started ..then the brown gunk flowed... and slowly turned a mucky yellow rust ..and finally cleared to just a tinge of yellow .. I shut the tap off ...but the water still flowed.. not just from the tap now but also from under the sink ...LMAOOOO ..I realized then as to why there was a drain in the middle of the bathroom floor.
 
Regardless of my foul aloe Vera odour,we went for dinner, went to the nightly shows and returned to see our friends the viscous rabbits waiting for us and more chips! I scurried over to the sliding patio doors and as I opened them ... they fell off the sliders and broke.  We once again called the front desk and spent half an hour trying to explain that we had no doors anymore. Once again our maintenance man came .. plunger in tow.  This time he brought a friend who was carrying the bucket that went with the plunger. We got brave and asked them to fix our security outdoor light which never worked from day one...the bulb was burned out. They hummed and thought about what to do until one had the bright idea to get a ladder and change it. An hour or so later, our doors were back on their tracks and working and we had light outside!  We weren't going to press our luck with
these two jokers so we didn't mention the fountain of youth in our bathroom.
 
We got up early on the last day we were to be there, Wed., to reserve a table at a fancy restaurant for dinner.  I figured I had my slut dress and wanted to wear it at least once! We proceeded to the beach for our daily ritual of sleep eat and drink ..and even surprize our habitual LOOKIELOOKIE CANADA ..SPECIAL PRICE JUST FOR YOU  salesmen and bought some trinkets. We swam and frolicked in the ocean ...no wonder anchovies are salty!  We laughed as this great big huge man in a speedo tried to learn how to wind surf and fell on this skinny little instructor 3 times .. as a matter of fact by the third time ..everyone was laughing and the instructor refused to teach him anymore!!! By late afternoon we headed back to our room to get all gussied up for this fancy last night dinner.  By now ..having the fair skin that I do, being Italian meant nothing to the red swollen burnt welts I call a body, and I wanted nothing more than a clean cold bath. Much to our surprise, the dripping had stopped.. I mentioned this to Debbie who then turned the tap to find that we had no water at all.  Once again we phoned the main desk ..they said repairs were being made and it would be on soon around 5:45.  Our reservations were for 6:00.  We shared the half of a pitcher of drinking water we had left to wash the mounds of sand that has accumulated on us in various spots, slipped on our most comfortable dresses and headed off to this lovely outdoor restaurant. We were escorted to a corner table next to a snow fence and the margaritas began to flow.   The salad bar consisted of lettuce, rice with black bean, carrots with black beans and shredded cabbage.... we took the tomato garnish.  Wine began to flow and a bowl of rice in tomato with black beans was served... bleah! ..More wine ..another dish... something yellow? perhaps squash?  something exotic?  would you believe McCains
frozen french fries?  We both started to laugh quite hard at this and people began to stare!  Debbie said "I'd give my right arm for a Tim Horton's Coffee right now!" ..the couple next to us .. young honeymooners both said at the same time "ME TOO"!  Well we all started laughing then cause we were all from Canada or England in the restaurant.  The waiter then brought some kind of meat on a big skewer and was slicing it on our plate .. I think it was brains or spam BBQ'd .. but it was horrible... then came sausage BBQ'd on a big skewer... then chicken... then some green mystery
meat ..which he said was liver...then pork..but it tasted kinda like BBQ Pringles to me .. I think
he lied! Then Beef... that I know he lied about! By the time dinner was over Debbie and I had a mountain of stuff on our plate that was inedible.   We left distraught and hungry and did the only thing we could in a time like this... went to the bar!
 
Early Thursday morning we packed, had breakfast and headed to the airport via shuttlemaniacbus.  We were delayed when a herd of donkeys decided to take a stroll in the middle of the road, but being the good bus driver he was,  he made up for lost time by not slowing down at the speed bumps anymore.  At one point on the bus someone said "I wonder whatever happened to the Taylor party?" They never showed up for the plane last Thursday and the bus wouldn't leave without them!"  Debbie kinda cringed in her seat and silly me piped up and said "We made it! Here we are!"  Well, we spent the rest of the trip telling everyone why we weren't on our original flight. Once we were at the airport, I had to be specially escorted through customs by our "guide" because I no longer had a visitor permit.  When we approached the desk with everyone watching, the big guard held up a whole pile of these cards in his hand with a big grin said "GET OUT OF HERE!"   As we were walking through customs after we got off the plane we were asked if we had anything to declare... I forget the exact circumstances of Debbie's declaration ..something about a carton of cigarrettes and a carton of cigars...As everyone else on our plane was in one line to exit ... Debbie was directed to the customs search line with me trailing behind...and the stares and laughter of everyone else on us.  By this time nothing short of jail would have suprised us!  The officer asked Debbie what she had to declare and she showed him the slip with the carton of cigarretes and cigars.  He asked if she had purchased any good jewellry and she said "If I had I would be wearing it!".  At this he smiled and said "GET OUT OF HERE!!!

 While waiting for the plane, we met another couple from our area.  They proceeded to tell us their adventures... he ended up in the hospital with a dislocated shoulder...was transferred by ambulance along with another lady having a baby.  Anyways, we told them our tale and they were in stitches as we all boarded the plane.  We thought we finally were in some kind of control once in our seats till we found out we were in the wrong seats and had to move back up to the front against the flow of traffic.  It turned out I was seated with two young teenage girls who looked totally distraught when I sat down next to them and Debbie was with a couple on their honeymoon.  The stewardess asked if anyone would like to move since their was empty seats and we eagerly volunteered.  Now we had front row seats and could see the pilot fly the plane.  Our luggage remained half way back since we felt we didn't want to hold up the plane anymore.  The flight home was smooth and relaxing since Debbie bought us each headsets to watch the movie.  The plan even flew over my house ...Once we landed and it was time to disembark from the plane ..we had to get our bags from the back of the plane ..as we once again caused a commotion and struggled with traffic to get them someone from the back yelled out "I KNEW IT HAD TO BE YOU TWO..I JUST KNEW IT WHEN THERE WAS A COMMOTION IT HAD TO BE YOU TWO!"   The whole plane just roared with laughter at Lucy and Ethel and their wild adventure!

I couldn't help think on the way home, Tim Horton's coffee in my hand, some very special friends all around me, "would I do it again?" YOU BETCHA!!!! .... in a moment! Life is good and sometimes even the most unexpected situations call for laughter!
 

Sunnysmile



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