SHANE'S STORY I am writing this mainly for myself but maybe it might help another parent whose child has turned to drugs..   Shane was born on the 12th May 1975, he was a big baby (10lb 10oz) he was not fat just big, and as such he always got treated as if he should be older.......I separated from the kids father when Shane was about 5 we moved to Perth..Shane was a very active child loved to get into all sorts of mischief but it was just kids stuff, he started primary school and this seemed to settle him down for awhile, but he was never really interested in school although he was intelligent he just wasn't interested in anything school had to offer, When he started high school was when all the problems started he never used to go it got to a point where I had to take him and then I would get the teachers to ring me if at anytime he was not there, by the end of first year the teacher told me that he was just not cut out for school and they felt that he would be better off in the work force so they sent him out on work experience to see if he could cope, and he loved it.   I really didn't know what to do at this point so I just went along and let him leave school and find himself a job I thought there was no point in fighting a losing battle trying to keep him there. He always worked hard and was not out of a job very much, I think that is what confused me the most because if he was doing drugs (I would tell myself) he would not be able to hold down a job. I really don't know at what point he started doing hard drugs, although, I think it was more the case of blocking it out, I knew he smoked marijuana (although I never approved of it) as most kids experiment with it these days, I never dreamed it would go any further we had always talked about drugs because I hated them, and I wanted both the kids to know the dangers there, I asked Shane on many occasions if he was doing drugs, I even found a syringe once at his flat and he told me it was his mates and I believed him, god I look back now and think how stupid I was.  I have never had anything to do with drugs I have been nursing for years I should have known the signs, I guess as a parent we just don't want to see them, and really that is the sad part because maybe if we can see past the child we love so much we maybe able to do something about it instead of blocking it out saying no not my child. Looking back now it is easy to say I could have done this and I should have done that, but it is to late for me now, so please anybody who has a child, and is reading this please look past the child you love and see the person they have become...before it is too late to help them..To me Shane was a beautiful person he had a smile that would melt my heart I cannot believe he is gone and my arms ache sometimes just to hold him I would have all the hard times back just to see him smile again. The night Shane died I knew that something was wrong, he was going out and I had this terrible feeling in my stomach, but couldn't put my finger on why, Shane had come home from work( he was living with me at the time) and we just sat and talked for a couple of hours he had just been paid and I begged him to leave his money at home because for 8 mths he had been off drugs, and I thought if he had money he might be tempted, so he did leave most of his money, or so I thought. During our conversation that night I said I don't know why I worry about you so much because I know you are going to grow-up into a wonderful man get married and have kids I really believed that I thought we were over the worst of it, oh how wrong was I.  Anyway the next morning I had to go out Shane had told me he would not be back until that day so I left early in the morning and as I was driving home I had a picture of the police (in my head) coming to the door and telling me Shane had died, I started crying and then I told myself not to be stupid what was I thinking like that for, well at about 4.30pm that same afternoon I wanted to say to my boyfriend Ron that something was wrong with Shane, but I knew he would just tell me not to be silly so I didn't say anything and and about 9.00pm that night the police came I remember not wanting to hear what they were trying to tell me I was walking down the drive way but the words "passed away" stopped me, god how could this be happening then I felt like I had just been hit by a brick wall, and my next thought was did I tell him I loved him when he went out that night, that still haunts me now, I pray that I did,it was a habit we had got into whenever he went anywhere we would always say I love you,so I hope that night was no different .   He was at his friends place when he died apparently he said at about 11pm that he did not feel too good and he was going to go to bed, they said that they heard him breathing funny at about midnight but just left him,my daughter cannot understand why they did not check on him or call a doctor when they heard him,Samantha (Shane's sister) was 17 when Shane died and she said even she would know what to do, she has never forgiven them and still will not talk to them. It was not until about 4.30 in the afternoon that they called the police, I cannot understand that part either why did it take them so long to realize what was happening  I think they must have been very frightened themselves not to know what to do I have since spoken to them and the girl said she thought she knew something was wrong but did not want to believe it so she just kept telling herself that he was asleep I know they thought a lot of Shane and since he died the girl has been having counselling , and I know how much Shane thought of them especially their little boy he would always talk about him. Some people do not understand why I talk to them either but they are my last link to Shane The coroners report said that he died of choking he had a trace of heroin and marijuana and his alcohol level was .08 which is the legal limit here(or it was then I think it is now .05) so they said that maybe he took the same amount of heroin he used to when he was using it all the time and of course because it was a much higher grade than he was used to that maybe that is what happened If you have the tiniest doubt in your mind that your child is doing drugs I would say you are probably right so please don't push it to the back of your mind and think that it will be ok because it won't, There is not a lot you can do unless they want to be helped but let them know you love them and will always be there for them,  When dealing with a drug addict, I really believe that tough love is the best love, quality time is better than quantity and always say what you mean and mean what you say, and fight it all the way, please don't let drugs take your child away!!!   There is nothing that can descripe the pain of losing a child. I pray that it will never happen to you.
I have started a club for people who have lost a child to drugs it is a place to talk so please go and have a look and leave a message. Just click on "All are Precious" below, it will take you there.