A Paradigm for Spiritual and Temporal Success
[7 Habits of Highly Effective People] [Maximizers]

There are many paradigms for spiritual success.  One of the most popular is from Stephen Covey, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."  In this book, he presents a means to organize one's life to accomplish the truly important things in life, whatever they might be to the individual.  This idea permeates throughout the book as exemplified by the Four Quadrant approach to time management.  Most people, it is argued, spend most of their time doing that which is not important and not urgent, delaying action on those items which are either important or urgent.  By so doing, eventually these ignored items become extremely important and extremely urgent and a crisis develops which then must be solved often under very stress conditions.  Far better to concentrate upon those items that might be placed in the so-called Quadrant 2: important but not (yet) urgent.  By so doing, these action items are taken care of before they assume crisis proportions.  The Seven Habits are listed below;

7 Habits of Highly Effective People
[Proactive][Begin with End in Mind][Put First Things First][Think Win/Win]
[Seek First to Understand; Then to be Understood][Synergize][Sharpen the Saw]

a.  Be Proactive

Being "proactive" in this context means controlling the outcomes in your life rather than letting your life control you.  We all have a freedom to chose what our life will become to a greater extent than we all realize.  It is the immature person who believes that their life is determined by others, and that their (usually) failures are the result of being acted upon rather than the choises they have made.  Reactive persons let themselves become the property of other people and circumstances over which they have no control.  If the weather is good, they feel good; alternatively, if the weather is bad, they are depressed.  Some may be controlled in this manner by sports, finances, relationships, personal health, or any number of outside influences.  Rather than subscribing to the, "if onlies" - if only I have more money, if only I had a more understanding husband, if only I could life in a more glamorous neighborhood, etc., the proactive person recognizes that their feeling of success (or failure) is totally determined by themselves.  We are responsible for how we live - not others.

This was a difficult lesson for me to learn for I had come to base my own sense of worth upon the opinions of others.  This policy meant that I became unable to develop my own self worth since I could not control how others viewed me.  I could try to please, cajole, or scheme ways to make the opinion of others favorable to me, but in the final analysis, their opinions of me was largely out of my personal control.  Far better to base my own self worth upon what I determine to be important, upon those things over which I have control, rather than others over whom I have little or no control.  Furthermore, when your worth is determined by evaluations of others, you are never secure in your own worth as other significant people change and their evaluation of you varies without your control depending upon circumstances.  My realization that I could determine my self worth by taking the evaluation of myself from others placing it solely with me was a revelation, a true epiphany!  No longer was I helpless to determine my own feelings and how I would react to circumstances for all of this became my choice!  Something was not "bad" unless I determined it so.  This is he first step toward becoming an "effective" person, for without this understanding you are forever running the car of your life in first gear; it is much more difficult to get where you need to go.

First, you need to get control of your life away from others and place it back into your own control.  Next, you have to determine where you need to go; you need to evaluate your life in terms of what you want to accomplish.  But, in order to "go" someplace, you first need to "be" someplace; you must first establish where you are - what are your core values; your principals.  The Christian probably has an easier time with this evaluation because they are always trying to establish core values; what are the absolute values upon which they base their life.  The Christian has certainly absolutes, whereas most of the rest of the world has relatives.  The Bible and its literal interpretation form the basis of morality for the Christian, whereas changing societal norms and political correctness form the relative values of the rest of society.  Still, it is possible to develop a sense of personal values from which to launch a journey through life.  One's "centeredness" must be based upon principles rather than on other people or things.  Covey lists the people and things upon which many base their life, such as money, work, possessions, pleasure, friends, enemies, church, self, spouse, or family.  None of these centers are bad in and of themselves, but when they become the most important part of life, then several things happen.  First, all of your actions are filtered through this primary center.  Thus, those things you do and what you become are determined by this center rather than through yourself.  Second, you relegate control of your life to an entity outside of yourself allowing your feelings of worth to be determined by a force outside of yourself.  Far better to center your life upon time honored, eternal principles rather than upon any other individual or institution.  I learned long ago that institutions are particularly evil entities because they frequently have no memory (work you might have done for them previously, no money, and no morals.  You don't want your feelings of worth to be determined by such an entity!

The principle centered person will allow us to stand apart from the emotion of a situation and determine actions depending upon other factors, objectively evaluating the options.  Looking at a balanced whole rather than only a small portion of the dilemma, the principle centered person will make the most logical, most balanced decision possible under the circumstances.  In so doing, you are no longer being acted upon by other external forces; you have chosen to proactively determine your choice based upon what is best rather than making a choice based upon what others are "forcing" you to do.  You make your decision consciously and knowledgeably.  You understand that your decision is most effective as it is based upon principles with predictable long-term results and circumstances.  You also are able to choose what contributes to your ultimate values in life.  If for example, you decide to work late at the office rather than come home to your children, then you are able to do this with the recognition that you are making a contribution to the company and getting the rewards that come with that decision rather than being home with your family.  Whether or not this is a good decision should be based upon your ultmate principles rather than whether family is more important than work at any particular point in time.  Finally, you will feel comfortable and at ease with your decision since it is made by you based upon your principles and circumstances rather than being determined for you by others.  You may value the advice of others prior to making your decision but after the decision is made you recognize it was the best decision under the circumstances.

You need first to determine what your center is, and this will take some work.  Covey suggests that you should make a personal mission statement in order to set firmly your values center within your own mind, and how this values center relates to your various roles in life.  This is a detailed process; one that does not come easy but involves true introspection, personal understanding, and close inspection of your unchanging morals and objectives.  This document becomes your personal constitution that establishes your values center in a very real and concrete manner to your duties and responsibilities in life, and should be done with care and deliberation.  Covey then points out that not only individuals, but families can have their own mission statements.  He argues that the mission statement that is produced by a family will tend to make a family work more cohesively as the value center of the family will be identified and the contributions that each member makes to this value center will be identified.  Each member of the family ceases to be an individual entity with no responsibility to the family as a whole.  Rather, the unit of the family becomes an entity that is broadly influenced by each member in various means.

Once you have developed your values center, you must next determine all the roles you have in life.  These might include; business, father, husband, avocation, physical fitness, financial planner, child, neighbor, etc.  These roles delineate in a very broad manner how you apportion yourself to your various responsibilities in life to others as well as to yourself.  An exercise that has helped me determine my roles in life is to visualize my current activities during an ordinary time interval such as a week perhaps supplemented by those things I would like to incorporate into my lifestyle.  My roles include; husband, church, father, financial, vocation, avocation, and self.  Generally, you should only have about six or seven roles; more that this number becomes too difficult.  You then include in your mission statement how to relate to these various goals.  My mission statement is included here for observation only; every person's mission statement needs to be individualized to his/her own particular circumstances.

You now have a desire to get someplace, you know your current position, and next you must take some action - hopefully accomplishing the most important tasks first (not necessarily the easiest).

"Things which matter most
must never be at the mercy of things which matter least." (Goethe)

Truly, this aphorism says it all, and yet how frequently it is ignored.  It is ignored when we carelessly ignore our family and work late in the office (unless, of course, this is part of a values centered decision).  It might be ignored when we carelessly fritter away money rather than invest for the future, or perhaps eat high calorie unhealthy foods putting on excess pounds and ignore our health rather than keep our bodies as fit as possible so it will won't deteriorate before its time.  Our worst decisions are often made when we carelessly consider only the short term transient benefit while ignoring the long term circumstances.  Or, as another aphorism notes,

"When we fail to plan, we plan to fail"

We have a developed a values centered life, and have made a personal mission statement that delineates our values center, have delineated our roles in life; now we must develop goals.  Without goals, we are certain to fail.  Without goals, we will be on a rudderless ship afloat in an ocean of responsibility carried about by the external influences of a tumultuous ocean never arriving at any destination - and probably sinking!  Each role in life should have its own individual goals, both in the very-long term (generally about 5 years), the long term (1 year), near term (6 months), short term (1 month), and very near term (1 week).  You need to develop your goals from the longest term to the shortest term, progressively defining your goals to smaller and smaller accomplishments that can reasonably be accomplished within the time frame being considered.  My days as a physician are unpredictable with various emergencies and unforeseen circumstances interfering with my schedule.  While I can't realistically develop goals specific to a day, I can develop a series of role defined goals that related to a week.  Every Sunday night, I take about an hour and define very specific goals for the following week for each role, and evaluate how I did the previous week.  At the beginning of each month, I develop slightly longer goals for the coming month, and every six months do the same for that particular time interval.  It is important to recognize that each series of goals should not be considered as being absolute, but can change as circumstances change.  Additionally, it is important not to be too hard on yourself if you fail to accomplish a goal in the particular time frame being considered but rather to accentuate the accomplishments you have made, and particularly to learn from your mistakes.  Probably the most important aspect of this form of goal making is that they are related to all the roles in your life simultaneously thereby advancing each aspect of your life along seriously considered paths.  You will be working harder because you will always have something to do with and never be bored; but you also will be accomplishing much - particularly if you learn proper time management.

Time management is a skill, and like every skill you have to have certain fundamental facts and then practice your new skill until it becomes second nature.  Unfortunately, this requires effort and it is my observation that which requires effort is often abandoned unless real benefits can be quickly observed.  Generally, it takes many repetitions to make a habit - to make something which requires effort second nature.  And, habits are difficult to establish - Dennis Waitley insists that a habit takes about a year of repetition to become established.  But understanding proper time management is a skill which permeates your entire life; everything from personal tasks and goals, to family responsibilities and work related issues.  Perhaps one of the most innovative and yet truly fundamental understanding Covey has established is the paradigm of Quadrant 2.

All activities can be divided into four categories; that which is important and urgent (Quadrant 1), that which is important but not (yet) urgent) (Quadrant 2), that which is not important but urgent (Quadrant 3), and finally that which is neither important nor urgent (Quadrant 4).  Examples of activities which might fall into these four quadrants follow;
 

Quadrant 1:  Crises, pressing problems which need solutions quickly, deadline-driven projects.
Quadrant 2:  Prevention, relationship building, recognizing new opportunities, planning and recreation.
Quadrant 3:  Interruptions, some phone calls, some mail, some reports, some meetings, pressing matters, popular activities
Quadrant 4:  Trivia, busy work, some mail, some phone calls, time wasters, pleasant activities.

Quadrant 4 activities frequently clutter our calendar; we naturally tend to spend more time on them because they are gratifying, pleasant activities.  However, by definition, they are also neither important, nor urgent.  The most important activities for our general well being and effectiveness should are located in Quadrant 2.  These activities are not urgent (yet), but if they are left undone for too long, they will become urgent.  These are activities that frequently might be unpleasant, and we might be tempted to put them off - but doing so will only promote them to Quadrant 1 activities forcing us to pay attention to them as they become urgent.

The importance of recognizing which quadrant our activities and our daily calendar fall in might be understood if the personal results of routinely performing activities in each of these quadrants is considered.
 

Quadrant 1:  Crisis activities:  Stress, burnout, crisis management, always putting out fires, never planning for the future but always working on emergencies.
Quadrant 2:  Activity management:  Planning for the future, feeling in control, spending time on important issues before they become urgent, vision, balance, perspective, fewer crises and emergencies, fewer distractions
Quadrant 3:  Routine urgent activities: Short term focus, crisis management, Feel victimized and out of control, shallow and broken relationships.
Quadrant 4:  Trivial activities:  Total irresponsibility, fired from jobs, dependent upon others or institutions for basics.

Planning is the key to proper time management - toward establishing and following those activities which are in Quadrant 2, rather than allowing yourself to become controlled by circumstances.  This planning, as we have already noted, takes the form of establishing your roles in life, establishing goals for each role in various time dimensions ranging from the long term (5 years) to the short term (1 week), establishing these realistic goals in a very concrete, specific, positive format with means established for verifying success or failure in attaining these goals, and daily observation of these goals so they become second nature.  If you want to walk 100 miles (long-term goal), you must approach your larger goal with a series of successively smaller goals and time frames until you can finally establish some small step toward that ultimate goal that can be accomplished this week.  This is the key toward obtaining your goals, this is the technique used by most successful people, and it is easily learned but often difficult to apply consistently.

d.  Think Win/Win

The win/win philosophy has become popular recently, but has been around for many years.  Certainly, anybody who has been successful in business understands that you must satisfy your customer or you will soon be out of business.  Also, as is true with any business enterprise, you have to turn a profit or again you will be out of business in short order.  Combining these two concepts produces the "win/win" philosophy - that is, that both parties in a negotiated business settlement win.  The win/win concept has become popular but is certainly not universal.  The scam artist or i unscrupulous business practices are not likely to disappear from the business landscape; however, I believe that those who practice a win/lose philosophy will eventually see their profits dip as their customers recognize how badly they have been treated.  The forces of business economics eventually tends to enforce a win/win philosophy as well.  American automobiles were mass produced to be as low quality as possible and still be acceptable by the public.  This constituted a win/lose situation for the car makers as they made considerable amounts of money selling inferior quality cars.  This continued until the Japanese automobile juggernaut hit, causing Chrysler to be literally brought to its corporate knees having to beg money from the government to stay in business.  The Japanese automobile was perceived by the public as being of much higher quality than American counterparts - at about the same cost!  American car dealers quickly responded and eventually a win/win deal was produced out of the original win/lose situation.

A win/win situation does not necessarily come cheap, because it might require considerable integrity on one or both parties in the negotiation.  Most business relationships do not involve parties of equal negotiating strength, and it is common for the stronger party to take advantage of the weaker.  This situation might produce quick profits for the stronger company, but generally these profits will not be sustainable as the weaker company will frequently migrate toward business partners who will be more accommodating.

Covey understands that a business relationship will consist of five dimensions.  It involves the exercise of each of the unique human endowments - self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will.  It involves mutual learning, mutual influence, and mutual benefits.  The principle of win/win begins with character, moves toward relationships and then finally goes to agreements.  This process is built upon support systems and processes.

Character.  We have already discussed how important for the stronger business partner not to take advantage of the weaker partner during a business negotiation.  This is an illustration of character, and will have practical benefits later in the business relationship.  Integrity is something that is difficult to define, and yet we all know it when we are around it.  Integrity involves the following traits;

Integrity.  The process of entering adulthood introduces us to concepts and abstractions which might have seemed incongruous earlier in our lives.  We become aware of the importance to keep meaningful promises and commitments - no matter the cost.  We learn to keep our actions in agreement with our innermost values, for if we can't make and keep commitments to ourselves and others then our commitments become meaningless.  This foundation of trust is very important in any relationship for without it there can be no long-lasting relationship.  Integrity and trust are just as important to business and interpersonal relationships as they are to a marriage relationship.  Without trust, the relationship becomes null and void.

Maturity.  A person may be considered "mature" if he is able to express his feelings and convictions with courage balanced by consideration for the feelings and convictions of others.  This courage/consideration balance, self confidence/respect for others balance, the "I'm okay, you're okay" balance in transactional analysis, is what might be considered maturity.  While courage might focus upon the immediate benefits, consideration will deal with the long-term benefits toward the stock holders and other business associates.

Abundance Mentality.  One of my mentors was fond of illustrating this principle with slices of pie.  It is far better during a shortage to try to make larger pies rather than distribute less pie each person.  Most people, however, are scripted with the Scarcity Mentality.  They view life as having only so much to give each person; so much credit, power, profit, whatever.  Thus, in order for people with this mentality to get more, others much of necessity get less.  It is almost as if something is being taken away from them with other people gain or succeed.  Although they might express happiness or joy at the success of another, inwardly they are unhappy and covetous of that success.  Often these people secretly hope that their associates might suffer some misfortune - perhaps not a terrible misfortune - but just enough of a misfortune that might allow them to gain competitive ground.  It is difficult for people with a Scarcity Mentality to be part of a group, because they must then share success with the others in that group.  The thought that group success would mean individual success is not as satisfying to them as individual success.  Alternatively, the person with an Abundance Mentality recognizes that there is enough money, praise, and personal reward for everybody.  There are unlimited possibilities for positive growth and development for all, and that success of one person does not produce failure in another!  It is possible for everybody to win; without this concept, the win/win philosophy is impossible.

Relationships. In order to have a good Win/Win negotiation, it is important, though not mandatory, for the two parties to have a good relationship.  The mutual trust and credibility present with a good relationship lays a very good foundation for this process to occur.  Both parties become deeply committed to try to understand each other, and to move mutually toward an friendly resolution.  When there is mutual trust in  relationship, each party is generally interested in seeing that the other party in the negotiation comes away from the table with sufficient benefit to make them pleased - if not overtly happy - with the way the negotiations have occurred.  If both parties are not working from the same win/win principle, then negotiations tend to be harder and more difficult because there is no mutual trust.  There is always an underlying tension that the other party might be trying to take advantage of you and in the end fashion a win/lose relationship.  You must listen more to the person engaged in this type of negotiation, and express your win/win convictions more forcefully than were it to be merely understood by both parties.

Agreements.  Once negotiations have ended, an agreement is reached.  However, reaching some form of an agreement is only part of the work involved in the total negotiation process for there must also be an understanding as to how the agreement will be carried out, and what accountability factors will be followed in order to assure proper enforcement of the agreement.  These latter processes are critical, even when the agreement is made between friends, because a misunderstanding about an important agreement can certainly portend the end of any friendship.

The following five elements have to be very specific in any agreement in order to diffuse any misunderstanding which might occur.

a.  Very specific list of the desired results of the agreement.  This must include not only what is to be done, but specific deadlines for the completion of each important step.
b.  Guidelines (principles, policies and procedures) which specify the parameters within which results are to be accomplished.
c.  Resources that identify the human, financial, technical, or organizational support available to help accomplish the results.
d.  Accountability to set up the standards of performance and the time of evaluation of each of these standards.
f.  Consequences - both good and bad, natural and logical - what will happen as a result of the evaluation.

A clear mutual understanding between two parties creates an independent standard against which the accomplishments (or lack thereof) might be independently judged.  Also, having these guidelines set up in advance means each party will not be hovering above the other worrying about whether the goals are going to be accomplished.  Rather, at some future pont in time mutually agreed upon, each side will evaluate progress being made and assess the consequence of this evaluation in a manner previously agreed upon.

It is important to understand first before you try to accomplish anything.  You need to understand what it is you are trying to accomplish, you need to understand those with whom you are working, and you need to understand yourself thoroughly as well.  It is important to empathetically understand all those around you before you can arrive at a correct analysis of the situation.  Men in particular like to rush in a try to "fix" something without truly understanding what it is they are trying to fix.  In our rush to do "something" we often do the wrong thing, and then end up having to spend much more time and energy in the long run because we now have to mend the errors we have thoughtlessly committed in our rush to intervene.

This concept has its applications in many facts of life.  In medicine, for example, it is clearly very important to dig into a patient's history in order to fully understand their problem.  A good diagnostician will be able to determine the diagnosis 80 percent of the time without e performing a physical examination with just the history.  You need to first understand the patient before you can come up with a solution to their presenting problem.  Similarly, a good lawyer also seeks to understand their client; not only what the client is willing to tell them but also dig into their past to the extent that a lawyer will often first determine the opponent lawyer's position before trying to develop their own.  It is vitally important to understand their client before trying to defend them in court.  A novice salesperson will often try just to sell products to their clients, whereas the good salesperson will attempt to first understand their client's wants and needs before determining the product that will best meet their needs.  The expert salesperson will then develop a rapport with their client and get repeat business.  Finally, there has to be continued communication with a child as he grows up through childhood and adolescence.  As a child develops, their needs change and develop as well.  A good parent will not just merely dictate the rules of the house insisting the children blindly obey.  Rather, in order to meaningfully intervene in their child's life, a good parent will try to understand where the child is coming from in order to suggest the bet alternative based upon the parent's much greater experience.  In this manner, the child will be much more likely to heed advice because they will feel he parent really is trying to understand their needs and wants rather than just be a dictator.

The ancient Greeks had a similar philosophy in the three sequential words; ethos, pathos, and logos.  Ethos (root for "ethical") is you personal credibility; the confidence people have in your personal integrity.  Most people will not give you a second glance if you have no personal credibility.  Next is pathos or the empathetic feeling side of you personality.  With empathy, you are in alignment with the emotional nature of another person's communication.  Finally, if you have integrity and empathy, you might be able to effect logos (root of "logic"), or the factual arguments concerning the validity of your position.  The order of this presentation - ethos, pathos, and logos - is a paradigm shift for most people (especially men), parents, and business leadership who would rather just dictate policy (logos) without necessarily preceding it with ethos and pathos.  Children may obey their parents out of fear when they are very young, but without ethos and pathos, this will not continue as they get older.  Children will obey those whom they respect - be it their peers or their parents.  Respect for their parents is not something that comes with just being a parent but rather must be earned, and it is earned when the child understands the parent to have personal credibility (ethos) and deeply wishes to understand them (pathos) rather than just merely dictate policy.

f.  Synergize

Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  When you are interacting synergistically with others, you come to new ideas, thoughts and possibilities that you might not have had otherwise.  The challenge of synergy is to apply the principles of creative cooperation without engendering chaos.  The interaction between a man and a woman in a family is (or should be) an illustration of synergy.  Certainly, we have come to appreciate the vast differences between men and women; both from the obvious physical differences, to the emotional, social and mental differences.  These differences are very profound and go to the core of what it means to be a man and a woman.  These differences are not culturally instilled (as some would have us believe) but are biological imperatives; these differences also establish that each is incomplete without the other.  While a man might see a certain problematic situation in a certain way, frequently a woman might see the same situation differently.  Neither insight is intrinsically "wrong" or "less right," but the combined perspectives of both will likely produce a better outcome than either perspective individually.

Communication must be observed from the perspective of synergy.  When parties communicate with the mental frame of inflexibility, then there is little likelihood for the success of the communication.  However, if each party enters into communication with the mental frame of synergy, then their willingness to learn and cooperate with the other party increases tremendously.  Synergistic communication fosters cooperation and the generation of new insights which might otherwise might not have been found.  Synergism increases the likelihood for creative thinking; new ideas and new perspectives arise amid older, perhaps less successful ideas.

Synergy fosters greater cooperation between participants, but it also requires a willingness of each participant to surrender autonomy.  A marriage cannot survive if both the husband and wife insist on full autonomy; each must surrender part of their sovereignty to produce a successful marriage.  Synergistic thinking requires integrity without which there would be no trust from the other partners.  Synergistic interactions require personal security and a willingness to engage in win-win thinking for there to be success.  And, interestingly, synergistic thinking requires the consideration of the possibility that the "end in mind" might change after consideration of other possibilities and new perspectives.

Covey points out that synergistic thinking is the most productive form of interaction but requires the most trust and cooperation.  If there is very little trust and cooperation between participants, then likely a win/lose situation will develop.  Both parties are defensive, and neither trust the other.  Somewhat more trust and cooperation between partners will permit a compromise situation to arise.  Communication is polite but there is no willingness for understanding the deeper motives of other participants - there is no empathetic communication.  People might understand each other intellectually but not creatively.  Finally, the ultimate in cooperation and trust engenders synergistic thinking where there is deep understanding of the motives, fears, and feelings of the other participants.  Ideally, this is the situation in a marriage, where each partner is willing to sacrifice for the other.  This should be the situation between two business partners as they work toward goals that require creative thinking and consideration of new possibilities.  This also requires the most cooperation and trust, both of which are fragile entities that can be damaged by small infractions.  Synergy is a fragile thing; wonderful when it happens but easily lost.  It is like a fragile flower in a field of weeds; beautiful to observe but rarely lasts very long.  It requires the most work but also produces the most results.

g.  Sharpen the Saw

Sharpening the saw means indicates self renewal - trying to make oneself renewed again so as to be able to more effectively perform all the duties of life.  It is like recharging our batteries; we are built somewhat like batteries in that we must take time periodically for self-renewal.

Covey suggests there are four areas of life for "sharpening the saw" -

a.  Mental - reading, visualizing, planning, and writing
b.  Spiritual - values clarification and commitment, study and meditation
c.  Physical - exercise, nutrition, stress management
d.  Social/Emotional - service empathy, synergy, intrinsic security

a. Mental.  Steve Allen wrote a book called "Dumpth" in which he ably documents the disabling condition of modern American's intellectual situation.  Even though many of our children go through college, and even though we are now in an information society, so many Americans have such a limited knowledge base that their participation in a meaningful discussion of issues relevant to their life is limited at best.  In America, we have come to view the end of our school years as the end of our education, whereas in reality it should be only the commencement (as the graduation ceremony is rightly entitled).  We need to be educating ourselves continuously through reading, study, planning, and yes, even writing.

i.  Reading.  Fewer and fewer Americans are reading newspapers, books, magazines (not tabloids!) or other sources of information that it is easy to understand our lack of basic knowledge.  The advertisement for teaching children to read ably pronounced, "Reading is Fundamental."  Not taking our need for continued reading of relevant material seriously endangers our relevancy in he modern information age.  We constantly forget information at an embarrassing rate, and if we are not learning new skills we will find ourselves at a serious disadvantage quickly.  Surveys indicate Americans are watching television for thirty-five to forty-five hours a week - as much time as people put into their jobs.  Watching television is a passive activity; we're subject to all the values being taught through it, and there's no doubt it is very powerful in influencing our own personal values and wants.  Certainly, there are many good and educational television shows, many high quality educational and entertainment programs that can enrich our lives and contribute meaningfully to our purposes and goals.  However, most programs are just the opposite that will influence us in negative ways if we were to let them.  Reading, on the other hand, is much more active as we are asked to keep up with the plot, evaluate motives, or learn new information.

ii.  Education.  Continuing education is becoming a very important part of the information age.  Unless only a few decades ago, many people are finding themselves in several different jobs during their working career.  Gone are the days when a worker would find security in a job; it was not at all uncommon to work for a company for 30-40 years.  Now, we find ourselves working for a different company every few years, and each job transition brings with it new demands upon our abilities and knowledge base.  Continuing education certainly is very important in medicine.  A physician generally has to earn hours of "continuing medical education" or CME to maintain his license or keep admitting privileges at his hospital.  Continuing medical education takes recognition of the fact that medicine is a constantly changing (hopefully improving!) art with new information, new treatments, and even new diseases.  The same holds true for most other vocations.

Covey recommends quality literature, such as the Great Books, the Harvard Classics, autobiographies, National Geographic, and current literature in various fields to expand our paradigms and sharpen our cultural awareness.  This will help us to better practice Habit 5 as we read and seek first to understand.  If we only were to use our own experiences and our own autobiography to make judgments then we would be making these judgments from a very narrow knowledge base indeed.  Covey suggests starting off with reading a book a month, then a book every two weeks, and then finally a book a week.

iii.  Writing is another powerful way to sharpen our mental saw.  Keeping a journal of our thoughts, experiences, insights and learning promotes mental clarity, exactness and context.  I have a journal in which I keep a daily log of thoughts, insights, failure, and successes.  I have this log password protected and encrypted so that it is personal - and would remain so without my permission to access the information.

I have found that this is only half the battle, however, for it is also necessary to know where to find information when needed, perhaps several years in the future.  This is easily possible in the information age; computers are build for this very purpose.  You can either keep a database, or just write information down on as word-processing that can be easily searched later.  Some people write down factual information in their journal entries, making it readily available with the "search" or "find" function of their word processor.  I also seriously recommend a software product such as InfoSelect that allows you to customize your database, and performs lightening fast searches on your information.

b. Spiritual.  The spiritual dimension is one which many people give little thought, and yet your personal values permeate every major decision and influence your reaction to temptation and stress.  The spiritual dimension controls your core values from which you decide your mission statement that will influence your roles and goals.  In other words, your spiritual life is foundational; its your values system, what controls you life and how you interact with others.  Your core values determine what you do in various circumstances throughout life.

The identity of your spiritual source may be different from others.  I find tremendous value in prayerful meditation on the Scriptures because they represent my core value system.  The Scriptures represent a time honored system for values clarification for every part of life.  Others may get their values from great literature, or inspiration from great music.  It is important, however, for you to gain spiritual renewal because it will give you a sense of peace and satisfaction that cannot be found through other activity.

A personal mission statement is so very important because it embodies your spiritual dimension.  It gives a practical application to the values driven, core center of your being.  Your center becomes anchored on principles rather than on things or people.  Once you have clarified your values systems in the form of a mission statement, and have built life around this statement, you will find great peace and satisfaction knowing what you're about.  Once you have obtained a private victory over the inner, spiritual self through this process of values clarification as established in your mission statement, you will then notice that public victories flow naturally.

Your spiritual growth is foundational and fundamental to everything else in life.  You need to determine your spiritual foundation before you can establish your values system and progress through your roles and goals.  You also need to systematically examine your spiritual values to be sure there are no dark surprises there - you need to be consistent.  I am reminded of the disturbing fact that hotels report the greatest use of pornographic pay-for-view television usage was during a Promise Keepers convention; clearly, this represents a "dark surprise" in many men's lives.
 

You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing you sensitivity of mine.  He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeks.

Dag Hammarskjold

c. Physical.  We need to have strong , healthy bodies and minds in order to enjoy life to its fullest.  Some of us were born with physical, emotional, or mental handicaps with which we need to work in  order to achieve the greatest degree of happiness possible.  However, most of us squander our health, failing to take care of what we have acquired from birth.  It is important for our future health to get sufficient sleep and relaxation, eating the right kinds of foods and achieve proper weight, and exercise on a regular basis.

Exercise is truly a Quadrant 2 activity; important, but not urgent, that will pay high dividends in optimal health throughout life.  Most of us don't exercise on a regular basis because it isn't urgent, and because we fail to exercise, most of us end up with exercising assuming a Quadrant 1 activity - health problems requiring regular exercise.  Most of us think we don't have sufficient time to exercise which is certainly a distorted view.  We need to have consistent exercise - not a weekend here and there - to have consistent benefit.  The minimum, and I do mean minimum, amount of exercise that will have a positive health benefit, is only 30 minutes three times a week.  However, for optimal benefit you need to exercise once a day.  I believe it is also important to find some form of physical activity you truly enjoy.  I personally hate to jog - I find that whenever I try this I consistently taper off after a few weeks.  I do enjoy bicycle riding, however, and cycling about 30 minutes a day is about all I can take!  Other people enjoy swimming, tennis, racquetball, or some other form of physical activity.  Medical studies have shown time and time again that even minimal amounts of aerobic exercise truly do pay rich dividends in added health.  You are considered minimally fit if you can keep your heart rate at 100 beats/minute for 30 minutes or longer.  Ideally, you should try to raise you heart rate to at least six percent of your maximum pulse rate which is the top rate your heart is able to beat.  Your maximum heart rate is exercise dependent, generally computed as 220 less your age in years.  If you ar 40 years old, you should aim for an exercise heart rate of 108 (220-40 = 180 X 0.60 = 108).  The "training effect" is generally considered to be between 72 and 87 percent of your personal maximum heart rate.

We need to be wise when adopting an exercise program.  There is a tendency for us to try too hard in the beginning; we have all the right intentions, but we try to achieve physical fitness in a matter of days when it requires several weeks of consistent activity.  If you haven't been exercising, your body will protest this change in activity level; you won't like it at first.  Here is where you will need some mental discipline and stick with your mission statement; you need to be proactive.  Even if it is raining on the morning you are scheduled to jog - do it anyway.  Alternatively, you can anticipate those days when the showers dampen your cycling enthusiasm and have an indoor treadmill or cycle.

Exercise will also help you control that weight problem most of us acquire as we get older.  Not only do we tend to eat the wrong kinds of foods as we age, but we also tend to become less and less physically active.  Walking a mile (or running a mile) will consume about 180 calories; therefore, if you walk/jog/run two miles on your daily exercise program, you will burn up about 360 calories - not a lot, but it will mount up over time.  As you gradually increase your body's ability to do more and more demanding things, you will find you want to exercise more and more; it will become much more enjoyable and even pleasant - assuming you pick an activity you enjoy in the first place.  Perhaps, as your physical fitness improves - you would like to take long walks with your children in the mountains, or go canoeing on that river with the spouse.  You will find your energy level increasing as well; you will find yourself getting less fatigued during the day as you become invigorated in everything you do.  Finally, your mental awareness and clarity of thought also frequently increases as your circulation improves.  Dentists have commented that they are able to determine those people who have cardiovascular fitness by the color of their gums; those who are fit develop more capillaries and better circulation making their gums pinker with increased blood content.  Your whole body improves with exercise.

Just one word of caution - see your doctor first before you embark on any exercise program just to be sure you don't have any illnesses which might be worsened with exercise. Some people, especially as we age, have developed subclinical heart disease; we might have blockages of our heart vessels which do not give us any problem with minimal activity.  However, when we try to exercise and stress the heart, these relatively minor heart blockages might become a very big problem indeed.  Let your physician give you a once over just to be sure you are in good health before you start exercising to be sure you won't do yourself more damage than good - another Quadrant 2 activity!

If you are a smoker - stop smoking!  You will find it difficult to continue to smoke cigarettes while adopting an exercise program - the two are mutually exclusive!  Many people, though, find that they are finally able to quit smoking when they start to exercise because they finally prove to themselves how evil the habit is to their bodies.  Smokers may find they can hardly walk across the room, let alone walk or jog any distance.  Exercise finally brings to the fore the damage cigarettes have done.  But there is hope - it is never too late to quite smoking, and to reverse some of the damage that might have been done.

d. Social/Emotional.  While the physical, mental, and spiritual dimensions are centered on the principles of personal development and management, the social/emotional dimension is centered on the principles of interpersonal leadership, empathetic communication, and creative cooperation among people.  The social and emotional aspects of our life are intimately tied together; generally, the emotional aspect of life is largely determine out of and manifested through out relationships with others.  Covey indicates that our social/emotional life is controlled largely through our ability and willingness to interact effectively with others through developing a win/win attitude, an empathetic and understanding ear that seeks first to understand your associates before trying to influence them, and ability to synergize.

Our emotional life is largely determined by the security we feel; and this security should be largely determined by our feeling of intrinsic worth.  Security and peace should not come from what other people think of us or how they treat us.  It does not come from our circumstances, our job, or the amount of money we have in the bank.  Our feeling of self worth needs to come from within; it comes from accurate paradigms and good value-oriented principles deep within our mind and heart.  It comes from a life of congruence whereby we are living a life of integrity in all aspects of our life from which our daily habits reflect our deepest values.  Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony and congruency with true principles and values and in no other way.

Our life also needs to have an outward expression through helping others, for it is in helping others - generally the less fortunate - that our faith achieves its outward expression.  It is through this service that we become "alive" and sense a meaningfulness to life; for truly "faith without works is dead."  I believe your emotional peace depends upon your inward development and your congruency of lifestyle, your happiness and joy will increase exponentially as you help the less fortunate achieve what otherwise would have been impossible.  Dr. Hans Selye, an authority on stress research, noted that a happy life is the result of making positive contributions, and having meaningful projects that are personally exciting and contribute to and bless the life of others.

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