Many People have asked me to add my testimony to my home page so here it is. This is kind of a long story, but I must set the stage for you to understand where I was in my life at the time of my salvation.

I was born into a good family, but it was not a religious family. We went to church as kids if we wanted to and didn't go if we didn't want to. My parents knew nothing about God. So I grew up with good, loving parents who gave me everything they had to give but were unable to teach me about God.

With no real moral guide lines in my life, I made my own standard for living. I had decided at an early age that success would bring happiness in life. I set my goal at becoming a millionaire by the age of 35. I started my first business when I was 19 years old, the same year that I got married. I bought my second business when my wife and I were 22 years old. It was a small neighborhood grocery store. I enjoyed the work and meeting people but I worked 7 days a week, 14 hours a day at first. As long as I kept real busy I didn't think too much about not being happy.

After five years in this venture I was looking for another business that would be more profitable and a new challenge. I did not drink alcoholic beverages at this time but thought that a tavern seemed like a fun place to work and make money. I began visiting local bars and it seemed like the people were having a good time. So I bought a tavern.

It was a good establishment and I began making a lot of money. I didn't have to work as much any more and had a number of employees. So, I began socializing more in other bars and began drinking more and more. I would be out seven nights a week and I got into a lot of things that goes along with that lifestyle.

I bought a house and fancy cars to celebrate my success but my home life was suffering severely. I loved my wife and kids but I was not a good father and husband to them. I had absolutely no peace in my life.

I kept seeing people come into the tavern who were not happy but who thought that they would be at some other time in their lives. They were waiting for retirement. They were waiting until they got a new house. They were waiting for a new relationship. Nobody was happy. It was like life was dangling a carrot on a stick out in front of us. There were two individuals who were very influential in my downward spiral. They were two men who used to frequent my establishment. Neither was happy but they were close to retirement and they thought that they would be happy then. One talked about fishing all the time. He was going to go fishing everyday after he retired. He dropped dead and never got to retire. The other man worked for the Gas & Electric Company. He retired and a couple of weeks after he retired he went to the doctors and had his spleen removed. He never had a moment of retirement that he was not real sick. He died less than one year after retiring.

I came to the conclusion that one could not be happy in this life, when one night I realized that the more money that I made, the more unhappy and insecure I was. When my God, money, died I died with it. I had great bouts of depression. I must interject here that to everyone around me I appeared to be the successful business man with everything in the world going for him. This struggle was on the inside and I hid it well. I was so unhappy that I didn't care if I lived or died.

My marriage was all but over. I was depressed much of the time. And I saw absolutely no hope for any change in the future. I was just going through the motions of living until something happened in February of 1977. I was working one night as happy as could be and then an attack of despair hit. I had knots in my stomach and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I took a few shots of vodka, which usually did the trick, but not that night. I drank about a quart of vodka and could not get rid of the pain. I threw everyone out of the bar and left. I was drunk and hurting real bad. I always carried a gun with me. I pulled to the side of the road and stuck the barrel of a 38 cal, pistol in my mouth and cocked it. Two thoughts kept going through my mind at that time. One was my kids. They didn't deserve this. I brought them into this world and I had to take care of them. The other thought was, if there were a God my troubles wouldn't be over but just beginning. I couldn't go out into eternity without knowing.

Now in total despair, I couldn't live and I couldn't even die. I headed home for the night. I remember calling out to God that night. It was the first time in my life that I was sincere. I was on the Baltimore beltway as it crossed over Rt. 40. I screamed, "God if you are real, help me because I am going crazy."

Nothing seemed to have happened that night. I went home in pain and went to sleep. But God heard my sincere prayer that night. In March of 1977, the church where my wife and children were attending was having a revival. My wife and kids were there all Friday evening and all day Saturday there was something going on at the church or in the homes. My wife even had invited a group to my house Saturday afternoon (while I was in bed).

That night at about midnight my 10 year old son called me at work and asked me to go to church with them on Sunday. I kept telling him I couldn't because I would be too tired and I didn't know what time I would get home. He wouldn't let up until I promised him I would go with them in the morning. He had told everyone at church that I would be there the next day and my wife kept telling everyone that I wouldn't.

I stayed out all night as usual and when I got home he was up and dressed and waiting for me to come home. I was tired and disgusted (at myself) and had been drinking. I told him to go over to church, he had to be there early for something, and that I would be over after I took a shower. My wife said to me, "You look tired, go to bed I will explain to him." I said no, I promised so I went to church at the 8:30 service. My wife and the two younger children did not go at this time. There was an 8:30 service and then Sunday School and then an 11:00 service.

I sat at the back of the very small church and watched the service. I felt so dirty and out of place. People were giving testimonies of how they came to know Jesus Christ as their Savior and what it meant to them. I could see in some people's faces true happiness. This was what I had been searching for in all the wrong places. Most of the people in the church that morning were just as miserable as the people that came in my tavern, but there were those who had real peace in their lives. I could see it on their faces.

An invitation to receive Jesus Christ as Savior was given at the end of the service and several people went forward. I stood there thinking that I needed a change in my life but I didn't think I could give up my sins. The invitation was over and a little voice inside of me said you missed it.

When my wife and kids came to church for Sunday school she said to me, "I'll see you when we get home." I told her that I hadn't been to church with her in 12 years (we were married in church) so I would stay for Sunday school. I heard more people talking about Jesus Christ and what He had done for them. After Sunday school I needed to smoke a cigarette, so I went outside and a man who was in Sunday school with me, walked outside to keep me company. The little church was buzzing by now and I was going to go in and sit in the back but this guy knew a shortcut. We came into the sanctuary through the front doors and when I walked in, the place was packed with wall-to-wall people. I started to go back out and run but he blocked my way and wouldn't let me leave. The ushers put up chairs in front of the first pew and there was only one seat left and this guy took me by the arm and led me to this seat.

Again I heard testimonies of how Jesus made a difference in peoples lives. And when the service was over an invitation was given just as before. They sang six verses of Just As I Am and I didn't go forward. I stood there debating with myself. When the music stopped that little voice said to me again you missed it. The altar was full of people praying at this time. The ushers removed the folding chairs to make room. My wife and ten year old son were at the altar praying to receive Christ as Savior. The man in charge of the service said, "Wait a minute, someone else wants to accept Jesus as Savior. Make room here at the altar for him." They sang one more verse of Just As I Am and I took one step forward and fell on my knees between my wife and son. People came to me and said, "Ask Jesus to come into you life and save you." I will never forget my prayer that day. I said Jesus, if you are real I invite you into my life. I am 31 years old and I have everything in the world to live for and I am so unhappy I wish I were dead. Please come into my life and save me.

At that moment I began to cry and for 45 minutes I was unable to get up off the floor. The church had emptied out but I was there on the floor unable to get up. There I was a self-made man (and what a mess I was). Mr. Macho couldn't stop crying and get up off the floor. When I finally was able to stand up I felt clean for the first time in my life. I felt like I was a foot taller. I didn't know any more about Jesus than when I came into the church but I knew that something had happened.

I went to work the next day the same as usual but it was different. People seemed nicer. I didn't get into a fight that night (which was very unusual). I didn't drink and have not touched a drink since the day I accepted Christ as my Savior. I have had no desire for it. People started noticing that something was different about me. That first night after I closed my tavern, I went out with the same people that I used to travel with, only I still wasn't drinking. We were ready to go to another place and I realized that I didn't fit in any more. I told them that I had gone to church the day before and accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and that I didn't know exactly what that meant but I knew one thing that I would never live like this ever again.

From that moment on God has replaced the depression and hopelessness with peace and joy and happiness. I still have problems like anybody else but I don't have to handle anything alone any more. I am a very skeptical person by nature. I didn't just blindly follow someone else's bidding. I experienced the life changing power of Jesus Christ in my own life.

I could go on for days telling you what the Lord has done for me, but I just want to finish by saying that God is real and that He will answer any honest inquiry of Him. He will make you believe and understand if you will just have the desire.

Of course I got rid of the tavern and I have been a pastor since 1979.