parsnips

Parents: Stephanie and John
Siblings: Rob, Marissa, Mike, Timmy
Baby: Madeline Rose (Maddy)
Date: Saturday, March 21st.
Weight: 5 lbs. 9 oz
Height: 17.5 inches
Birth: Planned unassisted home waterbirth


Mom's story

This pregnancy was our 10th (5 losses). I had bleeding from weeks 4-12, so we weren't sure this would go full term. I started having contractions and dilating around week 32, so we still weren't sure of full term! We moved into a new home in the first trimester, and during the last trimester the oldest of our kids started having some serious troubles at school. (We are homeschooling starting next year - that's how bad it was) We started out seeing an OB, but his idea of a normal birth included IV, continuous fetal monitoring, strict bedrest once the waters broke...nothing like my vision of a normal birth! My previous 4 births had been more and more natural - I couldn't see giving that experience up. We talked about it, and decided to go unassisted for this birth. We were lucky enough to have some support - my parents thought we'd do just fine (John's mom was a little more worried, but she dealt with it:-)), and the UCBirth list was a wonderful support system.

Maddy was born Saturday a.m. At 48 hours old, she weighed in at 5 lb 9 oz and was 17.5 inches long. So, she was a little heavier than her big sister, but the shortest of all my kids. None of the clothes we have fit her - she looks hilarious in newborn size clothes!

Let's see...as of Friday night, I was dilated to 6-7 cm, and not having regular ctx - I joked that it would be funny if I woke up pushing:-) I didn't, but did wake up Sat with almost continuous ctx and had to go to the bathroom. I finally got enough of a break from the ctx that I could get up and go, and the ctx went to ~5-7 minutes apart. They didn't really hurt - more like a annoying discomfort than anything...I decided to go ahead and run a hot bath just in case they got worse. John and the kids were still sleeping, and I didn't think there was any need to wake anyone up yet. The phone rang about half-hour after I got in, and John answered it - he came into the bathroom and got comfy, since he sensed it would be a busy morning:-) (I think this was around 7:30 or so)

For the next 3 hours, ctx were getting stronger slowly but surely - couldn't talk through them! John was great about offering me my water, refilling as necessary - between ctx of course, since he was my back relief during them. He also added more hot water to the tub as it cooled too much for my comfort. As the kids got up, he let them know what was happening, and got the older kids to keep Timmy (2 year old) occupied. Not an easy task, as Timmy is very attached to Mommy, and wanted me to go watch a movie with him! Someone got him some breakfast, and then they did the movie thing. (This kept Timmy from standing in the bathroom crying at me when I wouldn't (couldn't!) answer him - much more relaxing for me and John:-)

I really don't have much of a time sense after this point - John says the really awful ctx only lasted for about 15 minutes, but I tell you it felt like hours to me Being in posterior position, that baby was pushing her little head against my spine so hard...John was pushing as hard as he could, I was like a wild animal trying to get away from my back - turning and twisting (in the bathtub - hah!), in tears...John was in tears too, as there was nothing he could do for me. He asked me what he could do, and all I could say was "just make it stop". (Now, at this point I should have realized it was practically over - I always say that within moments of birth:-)) John had the kids put clothes and shoes on in case we went to the hospital, and if I could have talked I was going to have my oldest call the ambulance. Luckily, in hindsight, I wasn't capable of speech at that point!

At about 11:05, I had some mental clarity - and I decided to do an internal before the next ctx hit. I reached in and felt something strange...thought maybe it was an elbow? or something...then realized that it was the bag of waters almost all the way down the canal. I had to smile then, as I knew it was almost over. John probably thought I was crazy for smiling - I'd just spent the last ~15 minutes "ooohhhing" and in tears, and now I was better?! So, he checked too, to see what made me smile. He felt the bag - and checked the cervix too...got his fingers out just in time for the next ctx. Which brought - the water breaking!! The relief from that was incredible - I had about 5 seconds in which to enjoy the release of pressure, and then all of a sudden there was a head at my perineum...I tried not to push - didn't want to go too fast, or tear - and then a few seconds later, her head came out (I was still not really pushing) and she came out the rest of the way and shot to the end of the tub...John has good reflexes, so caught her before she hit hit the hard tub:-)

She was fairly purple, but started coloring up nicely within a few minutes. I was holding her at this point, and ran my fingers up her spine to see if that would help her perk up. She didn't seem too interested in breathing, but since the cord was still pulsing and she was wiggling and looking around, I didn't panic. By 5 minutes, she was only purplish around the hands/feet, so I knew she'd make it. We did do a lite suctioning, as she had a bit of gunk in her nose/mouth - she was not impressed, and yelled at her daddy! The other kids came in in that first few minutes, and were impressed at her crying ability

After about 45 minutes, John tied and cut the cord and we got out of the tub. I was a bit wobbly, so he carried Maddy into the bedroom for me. (After all that, I didn't want to drop her!) The placenta was still in place, and the cord was hanging down...Timmy was scared of the "snakey" and told me to make it go away:-) The placenta was delivered at around 12:53 (John checked the clock) - I was having terrible ctx, still in my back, so I massaged my belly with one hand and gave a mighty push...Out it shot (luckily onto the chux pad for the most part), and I had instant relief. Maddy had nursed for awhile in the tub, so my uterus was already on it's way down in size. Though she slept for a few hours after this, Timmy was more than ready for his nacky (missed two regular nursing times during all this), which cause those wonderful afterpains to start up. Tylenol is a good post-partum thing to have!

I talked to my mom around 2, and John's mom called after she got off work. Maddy woke up at about 4 o'clock, and had her first messy diaper. (she had wet at 5 minutes old). Very reassuring to see that all systems were working well.

I will always treasure this experience for the knowledge and self-awareness it brought to me, to John, and to our kids. I don't know if I will be able to do it again, though. Maybe if this had been a "normally presenting" baby, I would feel differently, but...It was scary knowing that there was no back up there in case anything went wrong. Knowing that even if we had called the ambulance, I would have had that excruciating pain for at least another 1/2 hour (assuming birth hadn't happened...) Maybe I'm not confident enough, or maybe I just need the reassurance of medicine if I need it...I don't know. If/when we have another baby, we'll try to have someone here with us who can reassure me - and John! - when things get rough. Especially if it's another posterior (and both our girls have been sunny-side up...and little, thank goodness) - I want the option of meds in that case!

So, I guess I'd have to say that it was very worth it, I'm glad we went UC this time. It's nice to know we can do it if we have to! However, I don't think we'll plan on UC next time (of course that may change - we'll find out in a few years, or whenever God decided to give us another baby (if ever).

Stephanie wife to John (without whom I couldn't have gone through that - he was my thread to sanity through transition, and gave at least partial relief from that back pain) mom to Rob 11, Marissa 9, Mike 6, Timmy 2, and Maddy age 3 days (3-21-98)

update: April 3rd

Maddy now nurses every 1-3 hours during the day, and sleeps from ~11 p.m. to 5 a.m. She has quite the temper, too! There are cries for hungry, tummyaches, and lonely - and there's a loud yell for "I need something!!!" Amazing how such a little person can make such loud noises:-) Though we haven't had the opportunity to weigh her again, I'm guessing she's put on around a pound by now. Her fingers and toes have filled out, as well as the rest of her body. Someday she'll be long enough to fit in her clothes The other kids still love her (even after 2 weeks), though the 2 year old is a bit over-affectionate at times...He's getting better, though, and tries to help her feel better. Her cord fell off on day 10 (only used alcohol on days 9 and 10), sooner than the other kids. Post-partum me is back to normal weight, got my jeans on day 12 (school conferences, had to be presentable), and milk supply well established for my two nurslings. Now if the lochia would stop, I'd be ready to fee like a wife again! (Oh, and if the stomach flu would stay away...)