Since 02/03/00
Q: What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna
Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever
Q: What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
A: Holstaines
Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Their horns don't work.
Q: What do you call a cow who just recently had its baby?
A: Decaffeinated
There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."
There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."
A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows. The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed one of the cows looking at him. "I believe it's your radiator," said the cow. The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches! He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. "A cow just gave me advice about my car!" he shouted, waving his arms franticly back toward the field. The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the door frame to glance down the field. "The cow with two big black spots on it?" the farmer asked slowly. "Yes! Yes! That's the one!" the excited man replied. "Oh. Well, that's Ethel," the farmer said, turning back to the man. "Don't pay any attention to her. She doesn't know a thing about cars."
BUREAUCRACY-You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM- You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM- You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
COMMUNISM - You have two cows. The government takes one and gives you the milk.
DICTATORSHIP-You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
FASCISM - You have two cows. The government takes both of them and sells you the milk.
FEUDALISM-You have two cow. Your lord takes some of the milk.
NAZISM - You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
PURE ANARCHY-You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
PURE DEMOCRACY-You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY- You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
SOCIALISM - You have two cows. You give one to your neighbor.
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