Christopher was born 6lbs and 14oz, on July 11,1986, A  perfect healthy baby boy.  The Night before He went to Gods Nursery, was a night I will never forget. Living in a small two bedroom trailer, and In the hottest time of the year.  The Air conditioner, wasn't working right, cause it was still to hot in the bedroom, so I went into the closet, and grabed a bunch of blankets, to make a pallet in the floor, under the air conditioner. Chris had just woke up for his 2:00 am feeding, I ask my husband to watch him while I warmed up his bottle. Taking it out of the refergerator, and place a pan of water on the stove. I could hear Chris crying for his bottle, I ask my husband to see if he needed changing,. Testing his bottle to see if it was warm enough. I walked toward the bedroom to get Chris, I told my husband that I am carrying him in the living room, and laying him on a pallet, cause it was too hot in here. Bring Chris
to the living room, I sat in the rocker,  rockign him back and forth, singing as he sucked on his bottle, I begin just looking at him, and touching his arms, toes,  just admireing him all over, Watching him fall asleep with the bottle in his mouth, I removed his bottle, from his mouth and placed him on my shoulder to burp him,I let him laid there, until  I got up and laid him on the pallet that I had prepared, in the floor,I  yawned, andI laid down before he woke me up for his   next feeding. Kissing him, and telling him mommy loves you..I  Laying beside him, I placed his bottle above his head, just incased he wakes up after laying him down.  I remerber placed my hand on his back,  just in case he moved around I could feel him. ( Every mother understands this, if you feel your child move, or a slightess noice they make you wake up< automaticly) ( Chris was carryed to the doctor two days before, cause he had a slight cold)  Falling asleep facing Chris, I don't know why but when I found him I was on the oppisit side facing the other direction. I woke up at 6:00 am, and sincing something wrong I said to my self, Chris didn't wake me up for his 4:00am feeding, turning to face my son,  Chris was blue, I begin to scream for my husband,  picking Chris up and Begin CPR, all I could hear as I gave him my air, was a hollow sound. Chris Wake up, Chris Wake up please baby, running into the bedroom wih Christopher in my hand laying him on the bed,  at this time my husband was coming up out of the bed,  He picked up the phone, and dial my mother, who was at the house in a second, we knew the ambulance would take forever,  screaming Christopher wake up baby please, Mommy here, don't leave me, please baby, rushing into the hospital,  a nurse came up and took Christopher from my arms. I screaming I want my baby, I want my baby,  then a nother nurse came up and begin asking question, I told her what had happen, it was like a nightmare, people coming up and asking did I want to donated Chris organs,  I shouting no,  a nurse handed me two pills and told me to take this,  I kept shouting, please  give me my baby, and  thats when The doctor Came to me and said He's Gone, I remerber how my body trembled, and feel on the floor, waking up on a hospitial bed. Looking at my husband then my mom,  both had tears in their eyes, I begin to scream and ask wheres Chris, Then it was like everything came back, the whole nightmare. Tears came down, my face, I begin to shout at God, Why God, Why Chris, he was mined not yours. I begin to say things to God, I know he had to close his ears to. After being released from the hospital, we went to my mothers, we had to planned the funeral. I didn't want to, I wanted my baby, I want my baby now. God doesn't love us like he said, he wouldn't do this to me, he wouldn't take my child from me. 

We made the funeral arrangements, and buried Chris in a red outfit, that said Little boys are made of Heaven. I just wanted, my son back, and I had been warned by the Funeral directors, not to pick up Christopher.  I kept looking for answere but no answeres came, I sat in the chapel where I ask God, Why God did I do something, that made you mad at me,  for you to take my baby from me. Just then, a warm comfort came over me, I don't know how to describe it to you, but it was like part of my suffering was gone, but the tears were still there.  ON the way to the grave site, I begin to look up into the clouds,  I still ask God why, and was acking for my child, but something inside of me, kept telling me everything will be alright

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