Ok. So I was fishing out of the backyard garden pond. What did they expect? Me to fly off to the great lakes or something. Who knew they would get so upset over a few stupid goldfish. You think they were made out of real gold the way they carried on. Sheesh!
I
soon realized that instead of wasting my time on these expensive hobbies
that I should get back to my athletic talents. And what could be more summery
than a game of badminton with the family. That's right. Here I allow my
brothers to be on my team. I figured I could teach them a thing or two
about the game. This way I could enjoy myself while helping them
with their really awful serves. Hey! What are sisters for, right?
Hey!
What do you mean out of bounds? Your mother's out of bounds. Get yourself
some glasses ref. That was in I say. That's it!
I'm
outta here. No kid. Don't beg me to stay. I am taking my racket and I'm
history. No ref is gonna push me around with bad calls. I don't care if
it is my mom. She's blind. Oh. I guess you want the birdie back. Fine.
I
decided to go back on the road. So I jumped into the van and with my fuzzy
butt firmly planted on the seat I road off into the sunrise. And can we
do this without the artsy pictures this time, mom? Ok lady. Get moving.
Put the peddle to the metal.
Our
journey took us to Lums pond. Yeah, right. Some journey. The local slop
pond. That's how I rate. And when I wanted to rent a paddle boat what was
I told? No money! Right. No money for the paddle boat for Lissa. I bet
if the little rodent wanted a paddle boat he would have gotten one.
That's
right. They made me take the little rat boy with me. Mr. I love the water.
Mr. look at me swim mommy. Some fun trip. All I heard all day was Lissa
go swimming. Lissa don't you like the water? NO! Lissa is too good for
that nasty polluted water. They wanted me to catch a disease. I know what
they were up to. Get rid of me so rat boy can be number one. Well I wasn't
falling for it. No one was getting rid of me that easily. I had a plan.
Heh,
heh. I got rat boy to play with the football. Each time I threw it out
farther and farther. I just knew Mr. swim fins would go get it. Blast
him. He came back each time with it. Crap. Foiled again.
I
couldn't even play in the sand alone. He was always there. Like a bad dream.
What are you doing Lissa? I wanna go with you Lissa? Play with me Lissa.
Walk with me Lissa. AUGH! I gave up. I went home a beaten and broken Kuvasz.
My
summer was awful. The worst summer on record. And as you can see I never
did get rid of that growth on my neck. It just got bigger and bigger.
As always. I remain, sigh, Lissa.
