| "You Are Gone" You looked at me and told me you'd always love me Let my hand go and walked away Right into the oncoming cars Destiny had it planned that this driver's brakes would not be fast enough And you looked me as he slammed into you I watched you fly 15 feet into the air and back onto the ground 20 paces from where I was standing I ran to you and kneeled down beside you Watched you as death crept in to take you away We both knew you were going to die I realized I would never see you I began to cry You told me to hush, that you would always be with me That you'd always love me You asked me if I loved you And for a moment I was stunned into silence As realizations of many months hit me all at once I stared at you and remembered the day we met How you'd held me to you Told me you'd never met anyone like me I remember our first kiss in the park And the way you liked playing with my hair Until you had touched every tendril, every curl I remember when a cold winter night you proposed to me Asked me to be your wife You swore you'd love me forever But forever came too soon Because now you were leaving me You asked me again I loved you I looked down at you knowing I would never see you again Knowing we were in our last moments I said, “NO! I do not love you!” I looked up at the people surrounding us Remembering so many times we had been surrounded by friends and family Times you had told me to fuck off while walking the streets of the great city Surrounded by on looking tourists I remembered the times of madness in which you'd jumped atop me and yelled into my face I remembered times when you had looked at me with disgust and told me I was too fat, My hair was not shiny, Long enough, Pretty enough You'd told me I was embarrassing That your friends told you I was too fat I remembered the times you'd smacked food out of my hands while sitting in any public restaurant I remembered the looks of repulsion I got from you And the feeling of inadequacy I felt within me And the more you hated me, The more I loved you The more I hated myself In my mind I stood at a bus shelter I watched as you pushed a crying me into the glass and nearly shattered it to the floor I watched an angry you spit at the face of a scared me And shake the life and more of my spirit out of me And I swore things would get better When all they did was get worse I remembered losing love of friends and respect of family At my choice to stay with someone as possessive as you I remembered every time you told me to leave you alone before you got sick of me And how could I forget you telling me that I was not woman enough That you were the man and therefore you knew more about life and everything than me? The tears flowed from me I'd forgotten how much pain I had stored up How many excuses I had made for you How many times I'd apologized when you'd cursed me and put me down How many times I had promised myself things would be ok How many times had I asked myself if maybe I changed just a little bit, Or was sweeter, Kinder, Or did not argue then maybe you would love me and show me just a bit How many times had I cried myself to sleep alone, and wondering where you were How many propositions for NY Escorts, and us did it take Before I started looking at myself in the mirror, Hating what I saw and who I had become How many nights had I laid myself to sleep? Hoping and praying to never wake up in the misery of what was "us" Too many excuses Too many times Too many moments Too many propositions Too many nights Too many tears Our love was all pain Burned into my memory is the night you took my innocence After so long a time of waiting Only to leave me alone in a cold dark room Accompanied by nothing but a thin sheet, A cold draft, And my quiet sobs That night, you killed the rest of my spirit and left nothing for Death As he quietly passed by and left me with his pity to comfort me Then, I heard you again Asking me if I loved you I looked into your eyes Once again I said “NO! I HATE YOU! I ALWAYS WILL!” I saw you see hell before your spirit left your body And as your soul left with it Mine was returned to me I wiped a last tear from my eye You deserved no more of those I took the ring of my finger and placed it in your hand I got up slowly and left your body there in the care of strangers Smiling And since, I have never worried or cared about you again May my laughter torment you in Hell |
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