His mind reeled with possibilities. Pro's, Con's, all the what if's

of a difficult situation. He looked at her and knew, just knew that she was

the one. Absolutely, undeniably the one. She smiled at him, and they cuddled

close on the couch. The feel of her against him was like coming home. It was

always this way. It would start slowly, both pledging to themselves it would

be different this time. They would be good. Then, they would touch. And, in

an instant, all the good intentions would flee in terror. The power of the

love these two shared was overwhelming. The need to touch profound. He

wanted her, and she wanted him, but in more than just a physical way. He

wanted to wake her in the morning, to hold her while she cried. He wanted

to fill her world with the love she so deserved. He wanted to shower her with

small gifts from the heart and make her smile. He wanted to hold her hand

while they walked the neighborhood. He wanted to argue with her and make up,

to spend a relaxed day with

her, secure in the knowledge they were together. He wanted to fret over the

kids, make silly movies of every moment, talk to her in bed, share the day

over the dinner table. He wanted to marvel at the things she could do, watch

her paint, teach her about electronics, help her keep the car running. He

wanted to listen to her worries, share in her dreams, and help them come

true. He wanted her near always. He wanted to know her better than he did,

explore the incredible being that she was. He wanted to give her all that he

had, and find still yet more to offer. He wanted to become one with her,

revel in her beauty, her charm, her wit, her intellect, her gentleness, her

love. As he kissed the soft skin below her belly button he knew no greater

joy. She was frightened, yet did not make him stop. She was in love with

him, but afraid of that, too. He wondered if she, too, wanted all these

things. He hoped so. He wondered if they would ever come to be. Her fear

mounting, she has guided him away from her soft belly, so near to her core,

afraid of the next step. He moves, reluctantly, wanting to love her, seduce

her, bring their bodies to the truth already so evident. They are lovers,

no matter how little of their bodies they share. He thinks on his wife, and

worries. He's certain she does the same. He realizes he never considers what

he would lose, only the pain he might cause. As he understands this, he grows

to know that it is her that he really wants. It is with her that he truly

belongs. He wants to tell her this, that he'd give it all away to be with her.

He's afraid she'd run then, for she is not so able to tell herself such

scary things. She believes in her vows, as does he.

She tells him how he overwhelms her. He wonders if she has ever delved into

that thought, understood what it realy means. He knows the same sensation

when she is near, a soul deep longing, a love so encompassing that all else

falls away. He misses her, now that she has gone. He looks at his wife and

thinks of her. He kisses his wife and thinks of her. He knows he loves his

wife, yet always he is thinking of her. The thing that never gets mentioned,

the horrible, ugly truth, is that he loves her more than he loves his wife.

He knows this in his heart. He worries. But he can't deny what he feels.

He looks and sees he could enjoy a happy life as it stands. Yet, he feels

the loss of her. The next day he can feel his arms literally tingling with

the need to hold her again. He wonders if she feels the same. He knows she

won't call before she leaves. It is always the same. A night of near passion,

and days of loss. She runs, she hides, until

her emotions can again be trusted. He wishes she could acknowledge what it

means. He has, though it hurts, he knows what this all means. She is the one,

and if he is to be honest with himself, he should call her to him. Their's

was the life meant to be. So many would be hurt, but he has to wonder,

wouldn't they be hurt more later on? He does not see his love for her doing

anything but grow in the future. He wonders if they will ever

act on this love, to do what they know they want but is so terribly

frightening. He love's her, oh god how he love's her, and he would die to

protect her, give anything up to keep her happy, and will forever be just a

little bit lonely without her. She is his soul.

I LOVE YOU