are
SATAN'S TOOLS!
Yes, your beloved
flip-flopping, backless, archless, toeless, barely-there soled shoes
are SATAN'S
TOOLS. Satan uses this demonized
footwear to wreak havoc and misery among mankind. How, you
ask? Why, is that your question? Well, you shall see, in
time.
As a side note, flip-flops should not be confused with sandals. Flip-flops are the common sandals that go flip, flop, or smack!, when you walk in them. Sandals, on the other hand, have straps that keep the footwear on the foot - the way shoes should be worn. Sandals are evil, but are not evil enough to be SATAN'S TOOLS. Sandals are a human evil; mankind has enough evil to create certain products that are inherently evil through the gluttony, sloth, and vanity that is inherent in man.
Flip-Flops are now the most popular footwear in the United States - which has always been known to be the country of sinners, liars, gamblers, and rednecks. In other words, the United States is prime feeding ground for Satan. Popular fashion in the United States has almost always been controversial - skanky whore outfits, as well as pink shirts for men; both are seen as the work of the devil. And now, we have flip-flops.
Why are flip-flops so terrible? Wh-he-hell, let's go over the facts, shall we?
Flip-flops provide no protection to the feet. Say you were out, walking around, and three little kids ran past you, and all three of them managed to step on your feet. That would cause quite a bit of pain! Whereas, wearing a regular shoe, your footwear would cushion the blow with greater efficiency and shock-absorption than, say, a little thong-style strap of a flip flop would.
"The right amount of support keeps your foot aligned and comfortable, and absorbs shock. Poor arch support over time can most commonly lead to plantar facaitis, an inflammation in the tissues that support the arch of the foot." This quote was taken from an article from the University of Iowa Health Care website. You can find the article at http://www.uihealthcare.com/reports/familymedicine/030630flipflops.html. So, not only will a flip-flop leave your foot open to attack from the outside world, but it will also lead to a horrible and painful foot condition that is likely to affect you for the rest of your life!
In another article, also located in Iowa, the writer says "The only people he would advise to wear flip-flops are athletes and people using public showers.", when speaking of Dr. George Sehl's opinion on the demonized footwear. And, as we all know, public showers are also the work of the devil; competition among athletes has encouraged some to take steriods and other forms of unnecessary medication. SATAN'S TOOLS? Affirmative.
And, lest we forget, the horrible controversial office attire. Are flip-flops appropriate? Are flip-flops considered sandals? Really, who wants to hear that flip, flop sound while trying to work? Who wants their bosses to spend countless hours and over-think dress code policies, wasting valuable company time, while YOU are still stuck in your cubicle, slaving away at real work?
Also, flip-flops also encourage more visible skin than is necessary, causing little perfect twelve-year-old daughters to turn into sexed-up, skin-bearing whores. Reality check - cover up!
Those are only just a few of the reasons why it is believed that flip-flops are SATAN'S TOOLS.
And you people call yourselves Christians... Bah!
As a side note, flip-flops should not be confused with sandals. Flip-flops are the common sandals that go flip, flop, or smack!, when you walk in them. Sandals, on the other hand, have straps that keep the footwear on the foot - the way shoes should be worn. Sandals are evil, but are not evil enough to be SATAN'S TOOLS. Sandals are a human evil; mankind has enough evil to create certain products that are inherently evil through the gluttony, sloth, and vanity that is inherent in man.
Flip-Flops are now the most popular footwear in the United States - which has always been known to be the country of sinners, liars, gamblers, and rednecks. In other words, the United States is prime feeding ground for Satan. Popular fashion in the United States has almost always been controversial - skanky whore outfits, as well as pink shirts for men; both are seen as the work of the devil. And now, we have flip-flops.
Why are flip-flops so terrible? Wh-he-hell, let's go over the facts, shall we?
Flip-flops provide no protection to the feet. Say you were out, walking around, and three little kids ran past you, and all three of them managed to step on your feet. That would cause quite a bit of pain! Whereas, wearing a regular shoe, your footwear would cushion the blow with greater efficiency and shock-absorption than, say, a little thong-style strap of a flip flop would.
"The right amount of support keeps your foot aligned and comfortable, and absorbs shock. Poor arch support over time can most commonly lead to plantar facaitis, an inflammation in the tissues that support the arch of the foot." This quote was taken from an article from the University of Iowa Health Care website. You can find the article at http://www.uihealthcare.com/reports/familymedicine/030630flipflops.html. So, not only will a flip-flop leave your foot open to attack from the outside world, but it will also lead to a horrible and painful foot condition that is likely to affect you for the rest of your life!
In another article, also located in Iowa, the writer says "The only people he would advise to wear flip-flops are athletes and people using public showers.", when speaking of Dr. George Sehl's opinion on the demonized footwear. And, as we all know, public showers are also the work of the devil; competition among athletes has encouraged some to take steriods and other forms of unnecessary medication. SATAN'S TOOLS? Affirmative.
And, lest we forget, the horrible controversial office attire. Are flip-flops appropriate? Are flip-flops considered sandals? Really, who wants to hear that flip, flop sound while trying to work? Who wants their bosses to spend countless hours and over-think dress code policies, wasting valuable company time, while YOU are still stuck in your cubicle, slaving away at real work?
Also, flip-flops also encourage more visible skin than is necessary, causing little perfect twelve-year-old daughters to turn into sexed-up, skin-bearing whores. Reality check - cover up!
Those are only just a few of the reasons why it is believed that flip-flops are SATAN'S TOOLS.
And you people call yourselves Christians... Bah!