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"Dad" = Adoptive Father
Father = Biological Father (If you have trouble reading the text below, try highlighting it. Right-click/Select All) I feel compelled to explain the following because it's very confusing to understand when I try to explain it in a conversation and sometimes I get confused myself when I do. The more I explain it, the more questions usually pop up. If you start asking me questions about siblings and/or family, I'll probably ask you to refer to this link! lol I used to joke about creating this, but the day has finally come! It's going to make my life so much easier! lol My Mom was very young when I was born (15 years old). My biological father was too (17). They were married and divorced before I was 2 years old. My Mom remarried and I was adopted by my "Dad" when I was 2 years old. (My Dad is an American of Spanish/Hispanic decent.) My first two brothers were born shortly after. When I was 12 years old, my mother revealed to me the fact that the only father I had ever known was not my biological father. She showed me pictures of a man who actually was and didn't have too many positive things to say about him. I remember feeling devastated by the information. My mom and "Dad" divorced about 4 years later. My brothers went to live with my Dad who remarried within a year and had two sons from that marriage (My second pair of brothers). I had decided to stay with my Mom because I felt sorry for her. Within a year of their divorce, (I was around 16) I became curious and asked my Mom for more information about my biological father. Her opinion of him was more open minded. She reinforced the fact that they were both very young when I was born and that he was a grown man by then who probably had regrets about the past. She gave me a few names of people that I eventually contacted to find him. He had never lived more than 40 miles from me for all of those years. I met my biological father when I was 16 years old. He and I have maintained a great friendship since then. He has been married for almost 14 years to his current wife and has two step-sons and a biological son and daughter from that marriage. (Add three more brothers and a sister!) My mom has been married to her 4th husband over 6 years or so now. He has a few sons that I haven't been able to spend much time with, but have met and plan to welcome into my life. (Add three more brothers!) My Dad (who I admire greatly) just a couple of years ago adopted a friend of the family before she went to Iraq. She was like a cousin to us, but now she is our sister. She always admired my Dad as she grew up and asked him to adopt her since she lost her own father to a motorcycle accident when she was very young. My relationship with my mother has been strained in the past, most likely because she was a child raising a child, but recently we have managed to maintain a peaceful rapport. It hasn't been easy for my Mom, so I have to give her credit for everything that she has done right, which is quite a bit. Even though I don't see them as much as I want, I get along with all of my extended family and love them all very much. I don't like having to use the terms "half", "step" or "biological" when referring to my siblings and probably won't when mentioning them in a conversation. It puts space between me and them that I don't want. I want to be and work towards being close to all of them, and I welcome any new ones. I'm the oldest, so they need a brother that they can count on to love them unconditionally, and hopefully set a good example. Like the Banyan tree, we can branch out in every direction, but it's still possible to stay very close. |