In Loving Memory Of Jeffrey Allyn Miller
Jeffrey Allyn Miller
Wednesday, March 4, 1981 - Saturday, January 9, 1999
Age: 17 years, 10 months, 5 days
This page is in dedication of one of my best friends, Jeff. On Friday, January 8, 1999 Jeff and his girlfriend Andrea Garrett made a pact to have a double suicide. We all hate it. We didn't know about it before hand. But, we all knew he would do it one day, just didn't know when. We can't look back on it as, 'Jeez, what could I have done?' We have to look at it as, this is what made him happy. I know he is in a better place today. He is with Andrea. And, I'm not brushing off his suicide and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.
Jeff was one of the most outgoing people I knew. Yea, he had problems in his life, but he covered them up with humor. He made jokes out of his daily life problems. Jeff wasn't a 'prep' but he has more friends and was more popular than any person in our school. You could ask anyone is our school and Jeff touched their heart in some way. Everyone has their own personal story about Jeff. At first you wouldn't like him, cause he would annoy the hell outta you, but you grew to love him and he stuck to ya. You couldn't help it. He was htought of by many to be a close friend. I thought of him as a person I could trust and confide in. With out Jeff, school and plain life isn't the same. We won't see he and Andrea on Science wing together, leaving vocational won't be the same..and for some friends, no classes will be the same. Lot's of people looked up to Jeff as another brother and teachers as a song. I think the main reason we looked up to him was because he was always happy and made us feel the same way. Jeff was a bad ass on the guitar. He was called A Guitar God! It was his prized possession.
My Experience:
Well, I do believe this will have to be the shittiest story I'll ever tell to you, my kids, my grandkids, or anyone in the world. Ok, It all started as a normal day. My first period was U.S. History. I hate that class, but anyway, we were almost done talking about whatever we were....and someone calls over the intercom that Mr. Spears had lost his red folder, that means to keep the students in the class rooms, I think. Then he lost another folder, don't remember the color. But, that meant to lock the doors. It was really lame. After about an hour of that, I wanted outta that school, because I was leaving for Florida that day. Well, one of the couselors came in and said there had been two attempted suicides. Nothing about anyone dying. Well, instantly, I thought, some chick's boyfriend broke up with her and she over dosed in the bathroom or sumthin. Never did Jeff and Andrea come to my mind. Well, a little later my mother comes into the class room and I go up and hug her and I'm all, 'Ok, let's go, I gotta go pack'. She asked if I was ok and I said, yea, I'm fine, let's go. She said, you don't know who it is do you? And I was all , uh, no. Who? And she told me it was Jeff. That's when my whole world came crashing down around me. I don't remember much after that. I remember walking down the hall to go to the office to be checked out. I remember seeing Erick standing there. I don't remember if he was crying or not. But, that doesn't matter. From that day on, I've come to hate the media. I've realized how insensitve they are and how they take a story and run with it.
Monday, January 11, 1999--Today I went to see my friend Jeff at the funeral home. He was so peaceful. We all knew he finally got what he wanted. He will be with Andrea in a better place. We couldn't fulfill that here.
Tuesday, January 12, 1999--Jeff's funeral. This was a shitty day for me. The hardest time was when they closed the casket. I do remember dropping my head and feeling sick, knowing, that was the last time I'd ever see Jeff.
Sunday, January 9, 2000--Today is one year that Jeff has been gone. It has been quite hard. I know he is happy though. He is always here with us. I love you Jeff!!!! I miss you so much!
Here are some quotes I recall and things that stick in my head from Jeff:
'What is budymust?'
Acting like he was on a motorcycle and trying to run over people.
Making fun of the vocational bus driver's tooth.
Asking everyone for change for a nickel.
Telling Stephanie 'Girl you got the IQ of dirt!'
That's what you get for playin with fire
Jeff's Suicide Note:
No one can know the pain I've lived with for so long. It has been unbearable. There are people who know why. You know who you are. And now the only thing I've been living for has been taken from me. I can no longer live in this world. I love you mama and daddy, and Melissa, but I just can't do it anymore. I also love the Dunlaps. You all have been very good to me. I am very grateful for everything you have done. Mama and Daddy, you've showed me all I need to know about life. I'm sorry, I love you all.
Love,
Jeffrey Allyn Miller
This Ribbon Is To Prevent Teen Suicide.
This Blue Ribbon Is In Memory Of Jeff And Andrea.
"Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds the resources for coping with pain"
"The bitterst tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone"
--Harriet Beecher Stowe
This was put in the paper by Jeff's parents. The date is wrong but the rest of it is lovely.