The page doesn't exist, dumbass.
I'm sure that the page you were looking for is about something really interesting. It probably has lots of information and really pretty pictures. However, dumbass, you entered the wrong URL and wound up here. I don't like visitors. Do you think I like it when people just drop by here without notice? It's like an invasion of my private time. There was this one instance where I was about to settle down with a nice Brandy and then some guy in his fifties decided to show up. He smelt like he bathed once a month. Speaking of bathing, you kinda stink, too. Anyways, you're lost, but since you're planning on sticking around, obviously, here...

Please try the following:

  • Click the refresh.gif (82 bytes) Refresh button. Maybe if you're lucky, something might appear here eventually, but that's not very likely. What was that? Stop patronizing you? It's not my fault you were stupid enough to come here in the first place.
  • If this really isn't the page you're looking for, I congratulate you on that brain of yours, dipshit. Now, anyways. Since I have to do everything for you, look at the top of your browser. You should see an 'Address' bar. Make sure that everything is spelled correctly and while you're at it, make sure you have the right URL. If you are an AOL user, make sure you didn't type your street address in the bar.
  • Perhaps you're here because of a problem with your connection settings. That'll probably teach you not to fuck around with the bloody things. Christ. Anyways, click the Tools menu, and then click Internet Options. On the Connections tab, click Settings. I can't garuntee this'll work, however. It's not my fault you're a friggen' monkey, after all. If it does, that doesn't exactly mean I'm just going to go away. I was here first.
  • If your Network Administrator has enabled it, Microsoft Windows can examine your network and automatically discover network connection settings. If you actually have a Network Administrator who has enabled it, please raise your hand. Yeah, that's what we thought.
    If you would like Windows to try and discover them,
    click Detect Settings Detect Network Settings . This will do absolutely nothing, of course, and just take you to Geocities. I honestly suggest that you don't even bother.
  • Some sites require 128-bit color. Obviously this one doesn't, because it's just black and white, but some do. Why in hell am I telling you, anyways?
  • If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure your Security settings can support it. Click the Tools menu, and then click Internet Options. Change whatever you want; it has absolutely no relevence as to why you can not access whatever you're looking for. That's your fault. You're the dumbass, remember?
  • Click the Back button to try another link. In other words, get the hell out of here. Your hygiene offends me.

The page is a waste of space.
Internet Exploder