Born to be Beavers

TV Host: Hidiho Nature fans, and welcome to another episode of Wildlife Sheeeeeenanigans!!!!!!! This is your host, Bill Licking, joining you for this week's episode, "Beavers on the Go".
A beaver dam, cozily nestled among the virtint pines of a wilderness, located miles away from civilization's manmade domain. Let's go inside!
Here are the engaging Mr and Mrs Beaver welcoming us into their charming home!
This is Norbert, the litter's oldest son by four minutes. Since each beaver litter contains only two siblings, this shy fellow must be Daggett. One big, happy family, huh folks?
Wait, what's this? Mrs.Beaver? Could it
be?......................yes...........yes it is! A second litter! Know what that means, boys? When the second litter is born, the first is primed and ready to strike out on their own.
So as Mr and Mrs Beaver bid their sons a tearful goodbye, we join them in saying...................(ahem)........as before, we join them in saying, proudly hold your paddle tails high boys, and gooooooooood luck!!!!!!!!!

                 Born to be Beavers Scene 2:

Daggett: I can't believe it, Norbert.
Norbert: What's that, Daggett?
Daggett: Our own parents kicked us out.
Norbert: They didn't kick us out! Mom had a second litter 
         and we were the  first. It's the beaver way.
Daggett: But Nobie! Where will we go, how will we survive?
Norbert: It's easy to survive. You got your beaver survival 
         kit, don't you Dag?
Daggett: No!
Norbert: Oh...........that's not good. I was just kidding 
         around. Stop worrying, we'll be just fine. Come on
         BIIIIIIIG  HUUUUG!!!! Yeah, come on!
        That's right, who loves ya huh? Just keep 
        telling yourself, we're a couple of swingin' bachelor 
        beavers, foot loose and fancy free!
Daggett: Hey, that's right! Why we could even build a  
         dam of our own!

               Born to be Beavers Scene 3:

Daggett: I know! Let's bould it here!
Norbert: Whoa! Hold on, big stallion! If you're gonna 
         build a bachelor pad
         you have to build it right.
Daggett: Right!
Norbert: So you get to work, and I'll make sure it's right.

              Born to be Beavers Scene 4: (no talking)

              Born to be Beavers Scene 5:

Daggett: Hey, Norb, how 'bout some help with this tree?
         Norbert? Hey Norbert!
Norbert: Daggett, over here! No, not down there, up here,
         on the bridge!
         Come on up, this is cool!
Daggett: N-n-n-no, you come down here, we're supposed 
         to be putting together
         a dam!
Norbert: Okay, don't come up here!
Daggett: This better be cool, Buddy boy.

              Born to be Beavers Scene 6:

Daggett: Norbert, what do you think you're doing?
Norbert: My friend, I have found the perfect pre-fabricated 
         wooden strutcure
         for our bachelor pad.
Daggett: We're beavers, remember? We're supposed to be 
         building a dam!
Norbert: Give me one good reason why this isn't the ideal
         place to crutch! (bridge starts shaking)
Daggett: What's that?!
         (train passes over bridge)
Norbert: (as they bump across bridge) Okay, give me 
         another good reason!
         (both fall down bridge)

              Born to be Beavers Scene 7:

Daggett: Now look Norbert, we're supposed to be
         building a place to live!
Norbert: Who says? Don't put me in your little
         box Mr. Man!
Daggett: Huh?
Norbert: Don't tell me what to do, I can do anything
         I want!
Daggett: Sooooooo can I! And maybe I don't want you 
         to help me build a dam!
Norbert: Well if that's the way you want it, fine.
         See you around, Doofus.
Daggett: Spoothead!
Norbert: Fuzzwad!
Daggett: Numbooger!
Norbert: Stinkface!
Daggett: Weasel Weanie!
Norbert: Droopy pants!
Daggett: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

               Born to be Beavers Scene 8: 

Daggett: All I need is a few more trees.
(hears laughing in henhouse, looks in window)
Norbert: Please, ladies! I couldn't eat another bite!
Daggett: (in doorway) Norbert, what in Davey Crockett's 
         sweatstained buckskins is going on?!
Norbert: Well look who's here, it's Mr. Happy Pants!
         Ladies, this is my
         lovely brother I've been telling you about. 
         Careful, or he'll suck the fun right out of
         the room!
Daggett: What do you think you're doing?
Norbert: I'm kicking back, having a good time!
Daggett: Look, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.
         Come back and help me 
         finish the dam, and I'll let you stay!
Norbert: I got a better idea! You move in here and 
         maybe we'll let you stay!
Daggett: What? Here? Live in a henhouse?
Norbert: Not a henhouse, my friend. El Polo Grande!
         Hasianda! Just check out
         these groovy digs! We'll have everything 
         we need! How can you say no to that?
Daggett: Like this, noooooooo.
         (chickens start clucking because farmer 
         is coming)
Farmer: Okay, chickies, let's have the eggs!
Chicken: (farmer reaches in nest) Ba kah!
Chicken: (farmer reaches in nest) Ba kah!
Norbert: Wheeeeewww.
Daggett: Cluck, cluck, cluck-ing. Cluck, cluck, 
         cluck-ing.
(Farmer reaches in nest)
Daggett: OOOOOOOOOOhh!! Cold hand!
Farmer: (to the dogs) 'Sick em boys, get 
         them ugly weasels!

               Born to be Beavers Scene 9:

Daggett: (to dogs) Yeah, and your cousin is a 
         three legged toadstool!
Norbert: Boy, that was close!
Daggett: That's it?! That's all you can say 
         after all this happened?!
Norbert: What, what? We're safe now, the dogs are gone, 
         we're out of the storm!
Daggett: EEERRRRR!!! That's it, I've had enough!
         I'm going back to the dam, storm or no 
         storm! (falls out of the car and runs back 
         in when he gets hit by lighting)
Norbert: Wasn't it great? You got your whole life 
         to build dams! If it means
         that much to you, I'll help.
Daggett: You will?
Norbert: Rightio ready! Meanwhile, check out the 
         cool stuff we have right here! Nice cushy
         cushions, relaxation, entertainment system, 
         the view! Ok, we'll sing. The point is relax, 
         we'll be fine right here! (laughs)
Daggett: What's so funny? What are you laughing at?
Norbert: You telling those dogs their cousin is a three
         legged toadstool! Pretty funny!
Both:    (laughing)
Daggett: You know Bro, this is kinda nice!
Norbert: What I tell you?
Daggett: You're right! All I need to do is kick 
         back! (hits the brake and cars starts
         rolling down)
Norbert: Notice how when you really relax, it 
         sometimes feels like you're moving!
Daggett: Moving? (looks out window) Holy! We're moving!
Norbert: That's right we're moving, moving on out!
Daggett: (takes control of steering wheel) We're out 
             of control!
Norbert: Do we ever have control?
            (car gets hit by another car and flies over road)
Daggett: Out of the way, harberhead!
           (car continues)
Daggett: Whoooooo!!!!!!!!
Norbert: That's right Dag, let go of your frustrations!
         (car runs through trees and cuts them. 
         Then the seat of car flies out and
         all the trees and them on the seat fall 
         in the pond and trees form a dam)
Norbert: My, friend, you have done it!
Daggett: I have? I mean, I have!
Norbert: See? I told you if you sit back and relax the 
         job will get done! We now have our very own dam!
Daggett: Gee, maybe I should relax more often!
Norbert: That's the spirit! Come on, BIIIIIIIIG HUUUUUG!!!!!! 
         ( Daggett struggling in the backround) Come on, 
          you know you want it! Give me a big one, 
         you handsome goof you!

This script of "Born To Be Beavers" was written from seeing it,hearing it, and from memory so some things might be incorrect. Original script written by Mitchell Schauer. Copyright 1997, Viacom International Association.

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