Who's the best speaker in the Bible?

Samson, because he brought the house down!

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Why was Moses the most wicked man in the Bible?

Because he broke all ten commandments at once!

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During what season did Adam eat the forbidden fruit?

It was early in the "fall"!

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How do we know that Abraham was really smart?

Because he knew a "Lot"!

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How did Jonah feel after the whale swallowed him?

He felt down in the mouth!

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What sort of lighting did Noah put on the Ark?

Flood lights!

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What does a 500 pound canary say?

"Here, kitty, kitty...!"

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What is green and slimy, lives in swamps and ponds, and is very dangerous?

A frog with a hand grenade!

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Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to the barking lot!

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Why did the baby chick cross the road?

Because he was following the chicken!

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke!

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to keep telling these knock-knock jokes?

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How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs?

When you step in a poodle!

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How can you tell the ocean is friendly?

Because it waves!

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What are the two things you can never eat for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner!

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What do you call a rabbit that is owned by a beetle?

A bug's bunny!

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What kind of beans will never grow in a garden?

Jelly beans!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

Time to buy a new fence!

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Why does an elephant sit on a marshmallow?

To keep from falling into the cocoa!

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