Top 10 Hints That You'll Be Doing Doping Control (ie. Pee Inspector) At The Swim Meet





  1. Referee and Starter break into "We're off to see the Wizzer, the wonderful Wizzer of Oz" whenever you walk by.
  2. You are asked to report to the washroom attendant instead of the meet manager at the beginning of the meet.
  3. When you ask the Ref. if you have a deck job, he smirks and says, "Well, you got 3 out the 4 letters right!"
  4. When you ask the Meet Manager whether you should pack your whistle for the Meet, she suggests you bring rubber gloves and boots instead!
  5. You notice that you're the only one to get a free Officials tee shirt and it's sponsored by the Canadian Urological Association.
  6. When you ask the Meet Manager whether she wants you to do the Pre-Race meeting she says, "No. But you might want to learn the odd Sea Shanty."
  7. You're advised by the Meet Manager that befitting your stature as an Official they have decided to grant you your own cubicle reserved for Gentlemen for the entire meet!
  8. Meet Manager comes over and tells you that the good news is that under no circumstances are you to do any stroke and turn!
  9. The Meet Manager comes over and tells you, "You're my "Number One" man!"
  10. The Meet Manager, whose child you DQ'd last meet killing that new B.C. Record time, tells you when you ask what position she has in mind for you, "Lets see. We put Bashful Ben in the office, Grumpy Gus at Stroke and Turn, Happy Hilda in Concession, Sneezy Sam in a car going back home, Doc Dunlap in charge of Scratches, Sleepy Sue at Meet Commission and I'm sure we'll find a spot for you, Duncan!

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This page last edited by Duncan Laidlow, July 26,1997. If you would like to see additional information included please contact me at
DuncanVi_Laidlow@bc.sympatico.ca

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