THE PEACOCK ICON NEWSLETTER
Volume II--Issue IX: March 7th, 2000
©Peacock ICONS Inc. PRESENT.......
The Peacock ICONS Official Newsletter--Volume II--Issue IX
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*********2000*************
The Newsletter of the New Millinium©
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The issue the Begles don’t want you to see!
In this Issue:
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~Headline: Screech Meyer Demoted: Nate Promoted
~Upcoming Events
~Micah Screws the ICONS©
~Dogg’s Deli/Whore House (#1 rated segment)
~Injury Report
~A Word from Fire Marshall Krista
~Henry’s Volleyball Tips
~Interview w/ Lori Utt
~This Week on the Court© w/ Sharp & BC
~The Killer B’s (Botts, Boeglin, Begle, Bostic. etc.)
~CD of theWeek
~Quotes of the Week (worth your time)
~Awards
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-Headline: Screech Impeachment-
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--Press Release--(WKCP)--Yes, it is now official: Samuel
“Screech” Meyer who was once deemed the future of the ICONS©
has been officially charged with several articles of impeachment to
be removed from the rank of Assistant Co-captain due to his lack of
support, participation, and team attitude. Although many feel that
someone may be responsible for this change in Screech’s attitude,
this reporter will NOT be commenting on that at the moment. The
following are the reasons for the impeachment iquisition according
to the Executive Committee:
1) Accusing the fine Captains of a heinous crime they did NOT
commit (stealing that shitty bologna)
2) A Participation rate nearing that of an 89 year old nursing home
patient (no offense to Berglund or J.R.)
3) His anti-team attitude, which could be contagious
4) His lack of support to fellow ICONS and attendance at many
very important events.
5) His sucking-up to try to get back 2 good with the captains
6) His very convienient “inavailability” when the ICONS need him
for something. “I gotta go home!”.....”I gotta do my
homework”....but yet sits on chat and talks to a certain ?????
The preceeding are the articles of impeachment for Screech.
***Please Reply to the Peacock Address to vote whether he should
be impeached or not--you may vote confidentially if you wish by
not replying to everyone***
DON’T FORGET--THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ACT!!!!
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-Upcoming Events-
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Monday:
Table Tennis Singles unless it changes:
We have the following people registered:
--Bless, Bertram, Good Old BC, & Yancey
--Tretter, Begle, Kathy, Lori, Sara, Jayme
Tues:
Table Tennis Doubles:
--BC & Yancey: Gies & Bertram
--Tretter & Begle; Lori & Sara; Jayme & Kathy (subject to change)
Wed:
*Badminton Singles
--KAK, Trent, Nate, Yancey, Geoff, Gies
--Kathy, Sara, Lori, Tretter, Hasty, Jayme, Kylie, A. Begs, Kim, &
Amy
*Billiards & Foosball
--We have several people down, but it may conflict with
Badminton...so we’ll let you know.....
Thurs:
*Badminton Doubles
--Trent & ?????, KAK and Yancey, Nate & Geoff, Gies & BC
--Sara & Lori; Hasty & Kylie; Amy & Kim: Jayme & Begle; Dogg
& Kathy
Deadlines for this Thurs>>>>>16th:
-Golf Skills Contest (Groff--it’s all you)
-Frisbee Golf (we MUST be the champs of this)
-Tennis Singles and Doubles*****
on the 18th and 19th of March(Sat. & Sun)...BE
AVAILABLE
*Reply if you wanna play!!!!!
Deadlines for the 23rd of March:
-Flag Football (on the 25th & 26th of March and 1st & 2nd
of April)
-Football Skills Contest
-Swimming
**REPLY----PLEASE***
March 30th
-Wheelchair Basketball
*Co=Ed softball will be held on April 8th and 9th (or 15th & 16th if
rain)---Deadline: April 6th---there will be try-outs for all-campus
*Sand Volleyball--4-on-4--men and women....deadline April 6th
Dates: also on the 8th and 9th....We’re gonna have a busy weekend
so plan to be here....AND AND
AND>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Kenneth C. Peacock himself WILL BE HERE for
SOFTBALL AND POSSIBLY VOLLEYBALL!!!!!!!!!!
This is one you absolutely DO NOT want to miss!!!!
**Also--co-ed volleyball will begin March 19th on a Sunday so get
ready....we’ve got 6 teams whose members will be announced
shortly.......schedules available on the 16th
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-Micah Screws ICONS-
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4 words: Look at this Schedule!!!!!!!
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-Dogg’s Deli and Whore House-
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*Brought to you by: Equate K-Y Jelly and by Durex© Latex
Condoms and by Eckrich Fine Meats
--Hi, I’m Dogg, .....no, look....down here.....no, ma’m....DOWN
HERE!!!!---I work at the Ferdinand Holiday Foods and started my
own Deli.....let me know what you think
Specials this week:
*Bertram’s Boiled Ham---finger lickin’ good
--only $1.99 per lb.
*Elmo’s (Erin) Easter Egg’s--bright, colorful, and a lot of fun for
the kids (no, not Dogg).......only $1.99 a dozen
*Linn and Utt’s Potato Salad---use if for anything just like these
ultimated utility women.......just $1.19 per lb.
*Dogg(ie) Style humpin’©--That’s right, men......Dogg down on all
4’s....Take your choice: Dogg I or Dogg II.....(sorry BC).....special
value--$9.95 or 2 for $15.00
*Sharp’s Salami......a little beaten up but still tasty......
only $2.29 per lb.
Come to Dogg’s Deli/Whore house, where the customer is always
satisfied one way or another.
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-Injury Report-
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-Angie Begle: Knee Injury from b’ball.......status: after a long
spring break at Buy Low---probable for badminton
-Matt after Sara hit him for making off-color comments about laser
tag.....bruised bicep.......status: whatever Sara says.....
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-Henry’s Volleyball Tip-
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In order to get an Ace, the serve MUST go over the net.....
Henry out....
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-Interview with Lori Utt-
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Dean: Welcome to the interview, Lori....
Lori: Thanks, Dean, I guess.......
Dean: So how was High School @ North Knox
Lori: That’s South Knox, you punk......don’t make me lay the
smack down.
Dean: Oh, Sorry, bout that......So how was Vincennes?
Lori: South Knox!!!!!!!!!
Dean: Oh, right.....
Lori: Well, the Spartans were quite a team....sure we lost all our
sectionals in every sport, but now I’m an ICON, where we do it all
and win it all........but thanks to Matt, we did win a men’s sectional
one year.......If Linn just would’ve gotten her serve down......
Dean: I sense some antimosity toward your roommate and best
friend...???
Loir: We’re VERY competitive, Dean......she can handle
it.....We’re like two peas in a pod.
Dean: What about the CHIK of the Decade Award?????
Lori: We decided that we both should get it if one of us does, even
though I’m the truly worthy recipient.
Dean: Well, do you plan on bringing the CHIX back from the hole?
Lori: What do’you think Dean?
Dean: Well, I>......
Lori: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!.....The
Lori says this: I’m gonna shine my softball mitt up real good, turn
that sonuva bitch sideways and stick it right up your candy ass!!!!
Dean: I’d enjoy that, Lori...!!!
Sara: You sicko!.......let’s go, Lori......
Lori: You’ll be on next week, best friend of mine!
Sara: I know.......I’ll work on my Stone Cold......
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-This Week on the Court©-
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-This program brought to you by Microsoft©
BC: Hello Again, it ‘s me....everybody’s favorite Piker....BC.
Sharp: Yes, BC.......I know you’re mine and I’m one myself.
BC: I could not of said it better myself if I ‘d said it myself.
Sharp: WEll, nothing happened on the court this week: there were
no events due to midterms and then Spring Break, so we really
don’t have much to talk about.....but I’d like to take this time to
debut my new song on the air entitled “Kenny the Hero”.......(Sharp
pulls out his 6-string and plays)......(Bertram runs in with Tracy and
takes over the show)
Bertram: Welcome to “This Week in Computers and
Cross-Country” starring me and my lovely woman Tracy.......
Tracy: That’s me, Adam.........
Bertram: Let’s get started by taking a look at this 1100 MHz
Hexium processor that I created......
Tracy: But what about my GLVC champion cross country
team????
Bertram: In due time......but first....look at the speed of this comp!
(Sharp attacks Bertram from behind with his guitar smashing it over
his head and BC runs over Tracy’s face in his new running shoes.)
Sharp: How you bastards like that?//....huh???
BC: Yeah!!!!!!......see ya next week....It’s still OUR show.....
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-A Word from Fire Marshall Krista-
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My story: you know it.....my sweater burnt....
tip of the week: Don’t go swimming in cement boots; you might
drown.......
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-The Killer B’s--new Segment beginning Next Week-
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Starring: Botts, Begle, Boeglin, & Bostic
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-CD of the Week-
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“Jayme” by Weezer--not Boozer despite much confusion over the
matter......Busch Light for all!!!!
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-Quotes of the Week.....-
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*This is gonna be a good one--read up!--Dogg has outdone herself
and N. Begle as usual......
“They’re probably takin’ on what’s his face and what’s her
face”--Geoff at bowling referring top 2 Alpha Sigs’ whereabouts
when they were taking on Ruth and Joe Bliss in bowling
“You gotta pick up your mini-me self outta my seat”==Henry to
Dogg for obvious reasons
“Don’t be dissin’ me or I’ll pop a cap in your ass!”--Dogg to Henry
in response to the above statement.....Dogg later did not remember
saying this....wonder why????
“I’ve got something in my eye and it’s rediculous”--Kylie after
getting something big in her eye.
Gies: What’s up with you and Nikki bumpin’ nasties? (to BC)
BC: more like bumpin’ cuties!
Dogg: about BC the tampon man(on the bench press): “he gives
Nikki g’night kisses on the phone and on ICQ”
“J.R. Screwed up when he washed it”.....Berglund (what did he
wash?)
N. Begle: “I’m gonna eat your pussy”
Dogg: “No, Kary has to see it first!”
Nikki: “I’m gonna live in a mansion”
Gies: “Where?...in Pike County?”
Nikki: “No Stendal” hmmmmmmmmm.......
Dogg: When I was in middle school, I thought I was a midget!....I
asked my mom if I was........and in 5th grade, they called me
chicken breast”
Dogg: “I feel hoish”
Nathan Begle: “I’m not gonna answer the fuckin’ phone in the
morning.....that was just a good gesture by a cousin” in regard to
A Begs calling for a ride due to knee injury.
Joe Bliss: “Micah has some gravity issues” in regard to dodgeball
N. Begle: “RA Sarah will be mine!!”
Dogg: “What if I’m the only girl there that I like?”
Micah: “Do you want me to call an ambulance?”
A Begs: “I’m better now!!!!!”
N. Begle: “you make me so wet!” to Nicole on the phone
Dogg: “I don’t believe in having sex with a lot of people”
Trent: “me either.”
Dogg: “I was sitting on Trent’s ass giving him a blow jo........!!”.....
She later “claimed” she meant back rub..........
#1 Quote of the Week:
Dogg: “I can’t wait to get married and be a mom. Well, I don’t
have to get married....I just wanna be a mom!”.......you’re on a
good track, Dogg.
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-Awards-
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Micah Annoyance Award:
Nick in Basketball for saying “tell your fuckin’ refs to do their
fuckin’ job”
Know your role award:
Kathy for the pie
Shthole ICON of the Week:
Sammy Berglund---get with it Berglund.....we need you for
volleyball now!
ICON(s) of the Week:
1) Dogg for making us a cake with the ICON logo in icing on top.
-even though someone ate it all.........(see the headline)
2)Geoff for being a Badass
3) Bertram cause he’s the SHIT!!!!!
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© MM Peacock ICONS© Inc.
---------------------------------
Compliments--respond to this
Complaints--abertram@risc.usi.edu
***Don’t forget to vote on the articles of impeachment***
DO IT NOW!!!!!
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