Dear Fellow Supporters,

After a club record of ten games without a league win (the Tranmere game doesn't count) Athletic made it last Saturday. The hapless opponents were Port Vale and the 3-0 score finally gave then Latics something to look forward to in a disappointing season. The win actually moved the Laties up to bottom place - They must be a strong team. I applaud the interest and congratulations bestowed by two members of the LSC on the 'win' against West Brom the previous Tuesday. The Chairman, however, sees all and knows all. The Province newspaper got it wrong and the Baggies gained an unexpected point with a surprising equalising goal two minutes from time.

Christmas is coming and for the last meeting before Christmas I would like to have a grand draw with lots of prizes. This is where you come in. Please find sponsors. I will be donating some pnzes and if everybody donates only one gift we can have a great time and nearly everyone will win a prize. I will be updating prizes in every programme before Christmas so lets make the list grow. I would appreciate your suggestions as to how the draw will be organised. What time will it take place? Do you have to be there to win? etc. While you are in the giving mood Olga Woodland is collecting for cancer research. Please give generously.

The Chairman.

The latest in my collection of Oldham pubs is the
HOPE HOTEL, 32 Greenacres Road.

Unfortunately I never took a photo of one of my favourite watering holes. It was not fully licenced until 1897 but in 1886 it was owned by Eliza Harrop and had stabling for 5 horses. The pub was a Wilsons house and was sold by auction in 1981 to become a free house. I used to own a small building company situated across from the Hope, Every day my faithful workforce would arrive at 8-30am., work till 9-00 and then stroll down to the local cafe for a brew and a doorstop buttered crust or three.

Upon return to the workshop (around 10-00) we would busy ourselves and try to make some money by actually producing some windows, doors, shelves or whatever the punters wanted. The pub opened at 11-30 and, regular as clockwork, we would be knocking on the door at 11-25 shouting "Jack, let us in". Jack used to eventually open the door and we would soon be knocking back severaly pints of delicious Wilsons ale. Marlene (Jacks wife) would put the chip pan on and treat us to chip butties with lots of salt and vinegar (malt of course) to encourage us to sup more whilst we were playing darts and crib. When 'chucking out time' arrived, 2-30pm in the bad old days, we were always faced with the predicament of whether to return to work or not. Unfortunately, for the company, we always voted for a round of pitch and putt at Grains Bar or occasionally at Heaton Park. Our golf handicap improved but the company went under. Those were the days - lots of laughs - no money, but I wouldn't trade them for anything!

As promised last week we are giving a write up on a Scottish game. Scotland is a little country situated north of England and it is rumoured that they too have a football league. You may have heard of both the teams in it! The match in question was reported by our foreign correspondent, Wee Willy Wonka.

Falkirk 0 v Oldham 0 (pre-season friendly)
Date: Tuesday 30th. July 1996
Weather.. cloudy, cool Pitch: very good
Attendance: 700 (including 60-70 Latics fans)
Pies: plentiful, tasty, 75p

A lazy, sloppy game against the 'Bairns' in which Latics rarely put any pressure on the team who were relegated from the Scottish Premier last season. The ground is a small ramshackled affair (non-league standard) although they are hoping for a new stadium if it ever gets built. The game was a non event and was so dull most Oldham spectators spent the time:

a) wondering why Falkirk had two players each wearing numbers 6, 10 and 17.
b) wondering why a band of mad Grimsby Town supporters joined the Latics fans and started singing........... Sing when you're fishing, you only sing when you're fishing......... ;
c) wondering what songs the fans had in store for the new season. Practice songs included "Get your wallets out for the lads", "30 years ago...Oldham bought a player", "I only have eyes for ewe", "I'll never find another ewe", "Baaaaarrrnsley, Barnsley, you are next" and at the full time whistle "Sack the board".

Time will tell if the supporters were physics and could see into the future. More international reports will follow.

Dear Tom,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly as I know you can’t read fast. You won’t know the house when you come home, we've moved. There is a new washing machine in the new house but it isn’t working too good. Last week I put 14 shirts into it, pulled the chain, and I haven’t seen them since.

About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetry. Your sister, Mary, had a baby this morning. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, so I don’t know if you are an uncle or an aunt. Your uncle Dick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in Dublin Brewery, some of his mates dived in to save him but he fought them off bravely. We cremated his body on Monday. The fire went out on Friday.

Your father didn’t have much drink at Christmas. I put a bottle of castor oil in his pint of beer and it kept him going till New Year's day. I went to the doctor on Tuesday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube into my mouth and told me not to open it for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him. It only rained twice last week, first for three days then for four. On Wednesday it was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if we don’t pay the last instaliment on your grandmother within seven days, up she comes.

Your loving mother.

p.s. I was going to send you $50 I owed you but I had already sealed the envelope.

At last the true story can evolve. An e-mail to Allan Poyner (Oldham Athletic guru and indentured apprentice to the Chairman) brought the following facts:

Up to 1988 the all time record for Oldham/Tranmere games is as follows:
Oldham won 19, lost 15 and drew 8.

Allan is compiling an all-time list for the website which will be available in approx. two months. All that can be said is that Oldham are a far superior team than Tranmere and this can be backed by the statistics that state that the worst gate of the season was against Tranrnere, a fact that speaks for itself and emphasises the fact that no-one wants to watch the Rovers. This is a totally unbiased opinion and is based on facts alone.

Cartilage
Cartilage used to be widespread, but thanks to rapid fashion progress, no-one under the age of 30 would be seen dead owning a cartilage nowadays. Except David Platt who is a teeny bit retro, bless him.

Baseball Ground Neck
Frequent heading of a rain-sodden casey resulted in compression of the upper vertebrae until the neck became wider than the player's head. This inevitably lead to the windpipe becoming constricted by the shirt collar. Lace-up collars were introduced to combat the effects.

Lee Richardson not only won the Latics Player of the Year but he also won the Endersleigh League First Division Player of the year. It caps a great end to the season for the talented midfielder. While he had sometimes suffered from bad form and was in and out of the side he played in the Latics last 13 games and his inspired performances contributed greatly to the Latics survival. He was also a great penalty taker. He was rewarded with another years contract and is looking forward to another consistent season at Boundary park.

Did you know?

The league's first ever Sunday match was an F.A. Cup game at Cambridge with Oldham as the visitors. The 2-2 draw was seen by 8,479 supporters (including the Chairman).

Tommy Davis won international caps playing for TWO countries during the 1936-37 season. He played twice for the Republic of Ireland and once for Northern Ireland.

If the Latics had beaten Liverpool in the last game of the 1914-15 season they would have been League champions..... but they lost an Everton won the title.