Keese's
Millenium Limited Edition
Korner

Team Notes 'n Other Stuff
weeks 12 thru 17, and the 2000 StuporBowl

The latest breaking news from BMSFFL Central

Text scroll Java applet courtesy of Kevin Swan -
thanks, Kevin!

for more info, please go to the BMSFFL home page
Season Wrap-up!!!

THE 2000 BMSFFL STUPOR BOWL CHAMPION:

...and then there's the REAL Super Bowl, starring The Crows vs. The Large Fellows
Congrats to Baltimore - they made the Giants say "Never More"!
and Stay Tuned for the NEW X F L
For the Finest in Rasslin' Football!

The Bestest:
(note - standings will be updated when the BMSFFL home page is updated)
All ties in standings are decided by the webmaster (me) personally considering such factors as:
which team owner is nicer to me and who disses me!

First Place (StuporBowl Winner)
silver medal

Second Place (StuporBowl Runner-Up)
bronze medal

Third Place (playoff contendah)
blue medal

Fourth Place (Anotha contendah)

Game Over! Th-th-th-that's all, folks!

The Rest Of The Pack:

Now for the Real Vacation!
(Can I put my arms down now?)

This Season's League Stats are Here!
week1 week2 week3 week4 week5 week6 week7 week8 week9 week10 week11 week12 week13 week14 week15 week16

Interview with Na Brown, Philadelphia Eagles Wide Receiver.

Hello, Na, all of us in the New Jersey/Pennsylvania area are anxiously following the Eagles this year. You are all doing better this year than at any time in recent memory. To what do you attribute this success?
Well, we've got a great quarterback in McNabb, and until recently a super running back in Duce Staley. Also, our defensive unit has been living up to it's reputation.
Yes, I have to agree with that. How about yourself personally. This is your first year in the starting lineup.
Well, I couldn't have done it without hard work, perseverance, and the support of my family.
Speaking of your family, isn't Na a bit of an unusual name?
No, not at all. In fact, I have a brother with the same name.
Two Na's in the family?
Yes, that's right - and another one named Sha. Not to mention my sister Boomba.
Huh?
And my mother and father, Jammah and Oh.
I don't get it...
It's easy to remember us all... Mama Jamah, Daddy Oh, Sis Boombah, Sha, Na, Na.
Uh, thanks for your time...good luck in your next game.

ed note - his name is really pronounced "nay", like a horse

A MovieReview

Some time ago I had the pleasure of seeing Cadillac Man, starring Robin Williams as an Italian-American car sales man (Robin Williams? Italian? Yeah, right!) Anyway, he visited his mom and she served him some "fah-gee-oh-lee" soup. Has anyone here ever had such a soup? Must be a California version of the well known pasta fagiole soup! (pronounced fahg-zhool for you Hollywood types). In the movie, which I only saw a bit of but seemed like a good one, RW and his ex-wife and all the other characters are loud, crude and/or are Italian criminals with that "New Yawk" accent (gee - no stereotype here, right?) I know for a fact at least TWO people from NJ and NY who are NOT load and obnoxious (but then, I also know John). I may have missed the part with the mandatory Mafia connection, but considering the success of The Sopranos, I can guess it! The movie is a comedy, so all these characters are supposed to be funny. Maybe if I saw more of the movie I would have enjoyed it more, but some of us have things to do on the weekend like check the football scores!

CommGuru Speaks!

You may have noticed this little blurb early each week on the web page:
In order to provide the most accurate predictions, the CommGuru needs to take into consideration the latest NFL news, transactions, and injury reports. The predictions for this week's games will be available on Thursday to allow the CommGuru ample time to exercise his supernatural fantasy football powers.

Stupor Bowl Dreamin', or "If wishes were fishes"
(that's what we fishermen say about the one that got away!)

Monday night, Dec 18, 2000. Last chance for the Weasels.

Len Michaels: He makes the catch! He's going all the way! Torry Holt, 75 yard touchdown! And the Rams take the lead!
(that's one TD)
Dan Fouts: Torry Holt beats the secondary and sprints to the goal line!
(that's two TDs)
Len Michaels: Kurt Warner completes to Holt who runs it in for the score - the Rams are still in this game!
(that's three TDs)
Dan Fouts: The ball was thrown perfectly to Holt who caught it on the run and scored.
(that's four TDs)
Dennis Miller: Torry Holt's diary entry: "I am very, very, fast!"

And the Weasels get 45 points from Torry Holt and win the division...

knock, knock, knock (on TV screen)

Dennis Miller: Hey, Keese, wake up! I'M the comedian here, not you. You can't replay Holt's TD 3 times and expect the league to believe it. They're not from Florida, you know; well, at least not most of them...

OK, NOW it's over!!!

ed note - The Weasels and the Rams have something in common - they both lost on that fateful Monday Night. However, the Rams go on to the playoffs anyway by beating New Orleans the following week. And my Baltimore defense that did soooo poorly that week whomped up on the Jets the following week (3 tds - Holy Cow!)

Keese's Fearless Prediction:
As of week 17, I predicted that the SAINTS would win the Super Bowl. I hedged my bet by saying that the RAMS might have a repeat. Of course, should the EAGLES somehow win, I will be very happy.
ed note - they all lost as of 1/7/01 - so much for my predictions, but at least I'm still fearless!

And now, by unpopular demand, returning from years ago, quotes from "the kids":

Kristin's Korner:
Kristin says: Mom and Dad are married "until death they do part", or at least until Cher starts singing good songs!

Kathryn's Kwotes:
Kathryn: Gee, Dad, I wish we had a house by the shore.
Dad: Me, too, but they are too expensive. I would have to win 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' to be able to buy one.
Kathryn: To win that you would have to be dreaming, SO DREAM ON, BUDDY BOY!

Favorite Holiday Songs:
Kristin: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Kathryn: I Farted on Santa Claus' Lap

Ramblin' of the Season

BLAHBLAHBlahblah...
talk

blahBlahBLAHBLAH...
Weeks 12 - 17:

commentary
This is a combined commentary for all 6 weeks and whatever dregs are left over after that
- Matt, in a gracious and gentlemanly manner, has held off all trash until after he won (then we heard it all!)
- Time to pre-order your 2001 FFL magazines, send all the $$$ to ME (Ellen take note).

rumours

Keese has HUMBLY conceded without even asking for a recount.
Matt has HUMBLY (cough, cough) accepted.
Frank and/or Dave STILL haven't completed the official trophy
Someone, somewhere will start a 'Sore Loser' League!
Money, money, who's got the money?
There's a vast right-wing conspiracy against the Weasels in week 16 (I wuz robbed!)
Diggity Dogs will become 'The Chads' next year (aka The Pregnant Chads if they don't improve!)
Pocono Pounders will be invited back to the league
Schmaltz beer will be served at next year's draft
Keese is content in the off-season to go mining for archival Herald issues

the name game

more interesting player names - Tiki Barber (complete with broken arm but still playing)!
email meif you wish to nominate anyone else, have any other suggestions, or are just looking for a cyberhug!

recent injuries
note - not by any stretch of the imagination are these accurate or complete; please check your own sources
For Greg Hill injury status, click here

Kurt Warner is back
Ricky Williams will be back
Rob Johnson is out - again!
Troy Aikman and Randall are both out
too many others to mention, check the BMSFFL website

looking ahead...

Next year's draft - don't anyone draft any Eagles. Eventually Matt will be forced to take some. Before week 1 he will want to dump them so badly that he will accept any old scrub for them.
Also, any and all Raiders are hereby officially reserved for Mike F.

noteworthy games

week 17 -

Jets stopped cold against Baltimore as the Baltimore D gets int's a-plenty and my TU scores THREE td's.
(too bad our season's over)
Eagles easy win over Cincinnatti 16-7
Washington finally comes to life with a big (but meaningless) win
Giants beat Detroit - how far can they go?
Tennessee shutout over Cleveland - big day for McNair

week 16 - demise of the Weasels!

Eagles get a well-deserved(?) slacker - um, bye week.
Jets choke against Detroit 10-7 and fail to get a playoff spot this week.
Ditto with Baltimore against Arizona - except they somehow win 13-7 (no help to me)
Torry Holt's biggest game against Tampa Bay on Monday night (too late for me) - and - THEY LOSE 38-35!
New Orleans (whose TU I benched and had 19 points) big win over Atlanta 23-7
Tennessee shuts out Cleveland 24-0 (Fuegos Eddie George scores mucho)
Pittsburgh completely buries Washington 24-3

week 15 -

Eagles over Cleveland 35-24
Washington continues to self-destruct vs. Dallas 32-13; acting like last year's Eagles
The real Kurt Warner is back! St Louis over Minnesota 40-29
Baltimore big game over San Diego 24-3
Jacksonville runs all over Arizona, 44-10
Giants dominate Pittsburgh, 30-10, get playoff spot
Tennessee smothers Cincinnatti, 35-3
Monday Night - Indianapolis over Buffalo 40-29

week 14 -

Eagles clinch a playoff spot despite last second loss to Tennessee 15-13
Giants over Washington in barn-burner(!) 9-7
Kurt Warner is back (or is he?)! Carolina beats them anyway 16-3
High scoring SF over SD, 45-17
Giants beat Indianapolis, 27-17
Jacksonville Shuts Out Cleveland, 48-0!!!
Monday Night - New England over KC 30-24

week 13 -

Philly with last-minute FG beats Washington 23-20
New Orleans hands St Louis another loss (w/Trent Green) 31-24
Jets beat Chicago 17-10
Pittsburgh big scoring over Cincinnatti, 48-28
Baltimore more big scoring over Cleveland, 44-7
Oakland even more big scoring over Atlanta, 41-14
and those Giants beat hapless Arizona, 31-7

week 12 -

Philly dominates poor ol' Arizona, 34-9
Chicago beats chilly Tampa Bay, 13-10
Jets big upset over Miami 20-3
Baltimore another shutout over Dallas, 27-0
Monday Night - Washington's over St Louis (w/Trent Green) 33-20

trash bin

The following is a smorgasbord of emails collected the last few weeks:

We have three (count 'em, THREE) categories of trash in order to serve you better:

As always, in order to maintain the proper decorum worthy of this forum, any vulgar arguments over money are not included, in the hope that such worldly considerations will be forgotten as we embark into the new millenium of peace and understanding, blah de blah de blah!

Complaints

Conspiracy by former Commishes drove Keese crazy

I object to being dissed in "Msg from the Champ"!

Nothing to do now that the season is over!

HOCKEY, you say? - oh, give me a break!

Rulings

Passing TDs will be worth 4 points this season.

Fumble and Interception return yards won't be counted this year.

Archives
THIS SEASON'S NEWS: 2000 PreSeason Issue week 1 week 2-5 week 6-11

The Bestest: (note - standings will be updated when the BMSFFL home page is updated) All ties in standings are decided by the webmaster (me) personally considering such factors as: which team owner is nicer to me and who disses me!

The Rest Of The Pack:

Ramblin' of the Season

The Bestest:
(note - standings will be updated when the BMSFFL home page is updated)
All ties in standings are decided by the webmaster (me) personally considering such factors as:
which team owner is nicer to me and who disses me!