Grinder's Hash Trash

ON-ON Hashers...Welcome to my Web Page.
The unofficial news of the H3's current run. Which one?
That depends on which Hash I'll be runnin' with.

MISMANAGEMENT
Humpin' H3
(My Mother Hash!!)

FOUNDER OF THE HUMPIN' - SEX CADET - AL MATHEWS
HASH MASTER - DRAGON ASS - STEVE MOSES
BEER MEISTER - STUPID GUIDE DOG - SEAN MULLINS
RELIGIOUS ADVISOR - ASS-HOP-HER - JEFF DYER
HASH CASH - ANYTHING BUTT PIZZA - ROBIN BEVIN
HASH TRASH - SANTA CLAUS - JIM STARLIN
HASH FLASH - STUPID GUIDE DOG
HARE RAISER - STUPID GUIDE DOG (again!!-get a LIFE!!)
HABERDASHERS - HEATER & PIZZA
HASH DEVIL - ?????????? (the pack??)

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in San Diego area (760) 599-SHIT (7448)

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Current Runs & Down Downs

It DOES Rain in California - Sunday, Jan 15, 2000

Hey there fellow Hashers from the Humpin’ H3 in Carlsbad, CA…. How you go??? Just wanted to tell you all what a really great time I had while visiting. And even though my tan has faded to barely nothing… I have that “naked” look now…you still recognized me!! And of course, wouldn’t you know the sun decided to take a holiday while I was there and it rained too, so I didn’t get a chance to renew it. Well, it IS sunny here in Madison today but the temp is only about 10 degrees and a wind chill factor of about sub-15!! so I won’t be jumping outside in just my swim suit…Couldn’t even go for a swim in the lake unless I cut a hole in it first!! Pinky, I hope you are taking good care of the mutt…. Lucky dog!!! He gets to stay in the warmth of the California sun… hope you let him out of the Tiki Room once in a while to enjoy it. I’m not sure Old Fart even knows he is missing but will after I e-mail him a ransom note with a link to the Tiki Room so he can see the doggie is still intact and covered with lots of additional signatures from people he doesn’t know. Thanks to Santa, Flyin’ Butt Knocka and Turtle for a great trail free of shiggy, hills and mud…. Yeah right!!! Got my mandatory minor cuts and abrasions while on +++> (<-- that’s “true trail” for those of you who may not be familiar with trail marks). Bitch ‘n’ PENIS ran trail with me then my beloved daughter, Dances with Cucumbers, showed up for down downs and got spanked…but not by me. Dragon Ass you were having just a little tooooo much fun there!! As were all the other male Hashers who were slapping the Cucumber….hmmmmm, that sounds like some sort of secret code for “spankin’ the monkey”. On On On was at The Red Rooster where food and spirits continued to be imbibed while enjoying a few games of pool and some video games that proved just how well drinking beer and trying to think go together!! They don’t!! More later……
On OOONNNNNNN!!!!!

Over The Hump Run # 895 Sunday, 17 Oct, 1999

Haring honors went to Energizer Bunny, Paladin
and two young Hares whose names I can’t recall

Run Start was in Manassas at the Middle School. The pack gathered in the rain long before the Hares showed up. Could it be they were out prelaying trail?!? Say it isn’t so!! Well, even if they did much of it was to be washed away by the afternoon’s mini-deluge. Father Abraham was sung by those of us hardy enough (or stupid enough) to endure the weather (the rest of you are wankers or wussies!! Ya think you’re gonna melt in the rain? This ain’t OZ damn it!! Although Crystal City isn’t too far – just ask Marion Berry for directions. The Hares took off in different directions to confuse us but +++> was soon found just the other side of the school running along a muddy, mucky-ucky-gucky, puddle filled, slick and slippery (did I mention it was raining?) road that led us through a field then on up through someone’s backyard. After following +++> along a few surface streets through a rather well-to-do community that was still being constructed, we went off-roading again and once more into the deep dark woods. There was no big bad wolf in there though, unless ya count Coffee Tea or Me and Merlin….. they were blazing the way straight to the beer check where plenty of brew awaited us since not too many were on Long trail. Hmmm….. wonder if the family trail got beer too or did they serve Shirley Temples over there?? It had stopped raining but the tree limbs were still hanging low with the weight of the raindrops so a few showers were given by a single shake of the trunk. (What’s that saying about if ya shake it more than 3 times…..?) I had to make a pit stop along the way due to the beer and the fact that trail was kinda long. (Where the hell was my pit crew anyway? It would have been useful to have been jacked up to keep the poison oak and ivy off my ass!!) Finish was under the canopy of trees just down the hill from one of the Hares’ houses. Down Downs commenced just as the last of the pack arrived – guess they were anxious to get things over with and move on to the grub.

Run #261 August 14, 1999 – Humpin' H3 Project Run

Haring honors went to Dragon Ass & Stupid Guide Dog

Run Start was at the Ranger Station just outside the main park entrance. While waiting the obligatory 15 minutes after the Hares departed, we played a game called Red Rover where opposing teams link arms then call on someone from the other side to try and break through their line. Well, I got called over first and did manage to break through. Hmmmm…..could it have had something to do with the FRB Mug chain I was whipping around??? No one else, not even Uncle Fester, was able to break through. PENIS tried, but failed to penetrate. Maybe if she had worn a condom?? Father Abraham was led by Ass HopHer then the FRB was called up but there was NO BEER on hand cuz of those damn park regulations. Trail took us through some of the most beautiful trails with spectacular views all the way to the Pacific. Upon finding the first intersection +++> took us up to the apex of the park. Chewcacca took the road and had to climb a steep enbankment to get back on true trail. Since we were at about 5000 feet above sea level, even he had to take a break after that ascent. Imagine how I was feeling with the 20+ pound FRB Mug & chain draped over my shoulder!!!! I thought I had rid myself of it at start when Constantly Cumming inquired “Wow, how much does that weigh? Can I hold it?” Trail would eventually take us back to start and having passed up several opportunities to shortcut (bad choice) we asked someone for the shortest way back to the park entrance. He forgot to tell us it was the steepest trail too!! I think he was related to the Blair Witch!!! After carpooling back to our campsite where there was BEER and optional beverages to quench our collective thirst, Down Downs commenced.

Run #262 – Sunday, August 15 – The Midnight Naked Run

Hares – Dragon Ass & SMAC

There were about 12 people brave enough to bare their asses for this one. The temp had dropped to around 55* so needless to say there was some shrinkage and wrinkling of various body parts goin’ on. You might say it was a bit nipply. Of those I can remember running behind SMAC were Aiky Braiky Fart, Dragon Ass, Chewcacca, Ogre, Salty Sock Puppet, Santa, Nipple Me Elmo, Lemming Kravitz, Newberry’s Bitch, Old Spice (AKA Mas Penis, por favor), and Barrel Buddy.
Here’s to them........

Run #263 – Sunday, August 15 - The Lazy Bimbo Run

Haring were SMAC, Dragon By the Balls & Stupid

This one got started late since there were so many laggers due to imbibement of too much brew. We didn’t even leave the campsite but managed to drink up all the leftover stuff and some new creations by SMAC. Just what ya wanna do before getting in your car and driving down a mountain with nothing but sharp curves!!!

Run #260 - August 8, 1999 - Fester's Ghost Trail

Hare was Fester & ???Run start was at Von's on Oceanside Blvd where +++> took us west along the train tracks with Train Spotter in the lead, watching for the metal monsters. After crossing over Oceanside Blvd we treked over an open lot (one of the few left in Oceanside west of I-5) and on up a steep hill which provided a lover-ly view of the deep, blue Pacific. After wending our way down towards Old Highway 101, where we had a much needed Beer Check, courtesy of Fester & Snake's friends, +++> continued on towards the beach, right through the old Graveyard (glad this was not at night and in the woods!!!!) where we trampled on the souls of many a ghost - soooorrrrrry!! :( We ran over Hywy 101, being nearly run over, but at least not by a train, behind the Bowlin' Alley & under the train tressle and through Buccanneer Beach Park (AAARRRHHHH matey - ya got to be wearin' an eye patch to say that right) and back under the tressle and over the tracks - to grandmother's house we go - oops, wrong time of year for that!!! Turkey/Eagle Split was at the top of the hill after xing the tracks (again!!). Those of us who took the Eagle trail soon found ourselves on +++>, too bad it was 2 weeks old!!! (and it was part of a trail I layed!!). Needless to say we sort of got off true-trail and added at least one 'r two miles to our run for the day. Managed to find start then autohashed to finish - a great little park overlooking the Old Fart Trailer Park. Great trail Fester!!! But how the hell do you lay an Eagle AND Turkey trail when there's only ONE hare? Could it have been prelay!??!?!?!? or perhaps he had help from a "Friendly Ghost". Down Downs ensued with both Hashshit & FRB Mug passing from Salty Balls to yours truly - Coffee Grinder - I just HAD to open my mouth didn't I ??!!!! Hashit did pass again though, to Santa (welcome back!!) so I only need to carry that friggin', big-ass mug!! Other down downs were given but I didn't get the list sooooooo....till next run Hashers...ON ON

Run #256A July 4, 1999 - Firecracker Trail

Hares were Stupid Guide Dog & Felacio Domingo

Run Start was at Sharkey’s on Camp Pendleton. Getting there was nearly as challenging as finding finish. The US Marines had all sorts of road blocks (BTs) and detours (false trails) and NO powder to help us out damn them!! True Trail started off across a field and up a steep hill (good for the ass and provided entertainment for the hashers directly behind the behinds) to the bridge crossing the I-5 freeway. Had to wait for the light at the main gate since we were being “watched” by the MPs. We were given a strong admonition for crossing against the light (which held up traffic) and for running on the street making ourselves targets for the already drunk celabraters. Lots of intersections to check and kept crossing paths with the MPs………I guess they just didn’t trust us to follow orders!! +++> meandered throughout base housing, took us over fences and through a construction site that was very definitely “OFF LIMITS”…..those MP guys just didn’t want us to have any fun. Although a couple of hashers actually climbed up and over the fence while they were talkin’ to Don’t Have One Yet…..nice job of distracting there DHOY. So most of the pack went back across the school yard and some went over or under the fence that seperates the real world from CP. Toto couldn’t help barking out orders not to cross over…….he wasn’t even wearing military gear!! Some of us decided to just head back to start then straight to finish and get started on the really important part of the run…….the drinking. And of course there was grub on the grill……..thanks to everyone who made finish such a pleasure. They even had veggie-burgers for those of us who don’t EAT meat. But please, next time, forget that prepackaged potato salad……yukky……it gave me a belly ache and most of it got tossed anyway. Yep….exactly what you are thinking…..barf!! Finish provided great seats for the excellent display of fireworks right across the water on the south jetty where lots of ooohs and ahhhhs followed each burst of colorful explosions....I prefer the white warm creamy ones myself :)~ Of course there were down downs but I wasn't given the list soooooo....whoever got 'em probably remembers them and wants to forget them anyway.
Till next run Hashers......ON ON!!!!

May 16, 1999 The Tunnel of Love
Run # 249

This week's talented Hares were:
Stupid Guide Dog, Dragon Queen & Reece's Pieces (virgin Hare)
Run start was in Vista near the former home of one of our departed hashers, Braille Tits. The virgin Hare was gettin' nervous as the time approached to start laying trail. Guess he was just nervous about the "laying" part - thought he was actually going to get laid on trail. That's only if ya get snared!!!! (Guess I better start volunteering to Hare more often). Most of the pack took off in the direction of +++> (that's true trail for those of you who don't know) except for, who else, the Orange County HHH...Pinky and company, who headed straight for the obvious trail choice where lots and lots of shiggy & poison oak awaited our exposed body parts. There was a potty stop along the way with PENIS using the men's side, since, well, you know after all she is a PENIS!!! Trail took us over lots of territory with so many damn fences I am seriously considering bringing wire cutters to every run from now on!!! +++> was looking like it would end up back at start, which it did, but alas, it was only a beer check. Pizza threatened everyone with "no beer at finish" unless we got off our asses, so once again the pack was off in pursuit of the holy brew. Chew-Cacca and his first-timer friend had already found finish and came back to get refreshment from the keg. After scaling a steep mother of a hill we found a long, dark tunnel where your's truly was blowing (whistle at) everyone who passed through. The sounds cuming from that tunnel were ear-piercing shrieks of delight. Upon emerging from the tunnel (everyone with smiling faces), we continued on to finish whereupon down downs commenced after swilling a cup or two of the holy brewsky.