i can't remember that at all

theres a Best of The Muppets site? cool!

or rather best of. Muppet.

no got it off best of muppet

you have that stored away? freak

Of course, I have long campaigned for Buckland's 14.02 below to be officially recognised as "Funniest Ever Post":

14:02
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buckland
No, treeman, I distinctly said I didn't fancy him. I'm just saying, a couple of glasses of wine, a nice meal, good music... well, never say never, that's all.

05/10/00 14:00
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tree
buckland - so lets get this straight...you fancy Cliff Thorburn?

*backs away*

05/10/00 13:58
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buckland
Now I'm not queer or anything but my votes for blokes I don't fancy or anything but think are - you know:

Des (natch)
Cliff Thorburn
Alex James out of Blur
Paul McCartney 1966

Come to think of it (which I don't, if you don't mind, and I ain't asking), the first two look like my dad.

Maka, do you have a window?

I find it strangely erotic, in a Bad Sex Award sort of way

I am very disturbed by this thread

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! and again hahahahahahahahahahahahaheheheheheheheghoohooohoooohooo

I feel the same way about Robert Downey Jr, don't know why.

Buckland, total class. Stop whatever else you're doing and write this novel.

I am very much looking forward to you getting started, Buckland.

Have a top weekend

i'm in tears, this is a genius thread!

:o) thought i'd got in the middle of some sausagery then

both of youse

You silly old sausage.

take care bucky, have a crackling weekend mister

no, no and thrice no.

Thank you. My heart is yours

I hope so linsieP, I hope so. I'm trying for mid-way between Nick Hornby and Martin Amis. Amis with a bit more heart, in other words, Hornby with plenty of filth. You will have to tell me what you think. I get my new laptop from work next week, I think, so will make a start then.

Anyway, must be off, I'm home alone with wee George this weekend, watching the Exeter City game tomorrow. Come on you Grecians. Thanks all, it's been a laugh and a half.

hahahahahahahaha

can't wait until you write your book, Buckland. Is it going to be funny?

You know when after you cry for a long time you're knackered? I've been laughing so hard I'm exhausted.

haha

bring th enovel on

the change of mood between those two paragraphs is better than most fiction i read

i have lost it large styleee here.

No, I mean: HAHAHAHAHA

hahaha

*wipes away tears*

HAHAHAHAHA

hahahahha

I have a picture in my mind, though, one that I've long treasured. Cliff is tickling me, he's doing that thing with two fingers either side of the kneecap that always makes me giggle uncontrollably and I'm lying in a cornfield laughing and laughing and laughing and pleading with him to stop-

... and suddenly, he has stopped, and there's just silence, and endless sky, and the smell of hay, and his big hairy avuncular moustache above my face, and he kisses me gently, and softly insinuates his hand down my Y-fronts.

hehe insanity even.

you get your insaneness (?) from your mother then?

The Cliff Thorburn saga will remain an unfinished masterpiece. It will frustrate lesser writers for years to come

want me to act daft bucky?

[*reverie shattered*]

I feel like Coleridge after the man from Porlock came a-calling and put paid to verses 3, 4 and the middle 8 of Xanadu.

Got an email mid-post from me mum telling me about her smear test and it's quite put me off me stride. Giving that woman email was the worst mistake of her husband's life. I mean to say:

"Right - here I am back from the surgery - a smear with the nurse - brilliant news - she said I should go back on HRT and that will stop the painful pokes - so I'll ask the GP. "

I wonder if Voltaire had this trouble?

come back Buckland, more!

i asked ray reardon for his autograph in 1982, instead, he bit my neck and drank my blood and ever since i've been a fully paid up member of the walking dead

I keep rereading that post and my stomach's starting to hurt

kirk stevens...you can tell by the way i walk...

hehe

anyone else wank off to ray reardon?

tree might chris, all those pints would produce a lot of piss

tony knowles!

tony meo!

me chris. since i first saw him down 143 pints in an afternoon session against dennis taylor

but then the inevitable break-up. He'd become sullen, quiet, disinterested and unexpressive. You'd keep asking him what was wrong, and eventually the sound of your voice would be enough to make you flinch.
He would associate the decline in his form with his meeting you, and start to resent you for it.
Finally, it would all end in tears with you finding him ina compromising position in your Singapore apartment with a young ladyboy bearing a striking resemblance to Tony Knowles

anyone else had fantasies about bill werbeniuk?

I can just picture cliff & Buckie skipping hand in hand, through the park, in slow motion and soft focus. Then running and chasing each other with sticks, giggling like teenage lovers

hehehehe
this has really set mne upo for the weekend..off ot the pub very soon

buckland's 16.35 is the most brilliant sustained piece of comic writing in the language

He'd suprise you on your birthday all right. He'd sweat on the back of your collar while reading extracts from Celine. The groove on his chin would wear a notch on the back of your next. You'd end up as bare as need, poor sod, or the sole of your trainer.

hahaha, I'm killing myself here

hehehehe Buckie great stuff. Now stop being officially funnier than me or it will be time for Mr and Mrs Spank to pay a short sharp trip to bottyland

"He'd buy me nice trousers while doing exhibition matches in Singapore on tour in the Far East"

heeheehee

He'd surprise me on my birthday when I thought he was in Ontario

Funny
F-U-N-N-Y

of course, how silly of me

er, Leicester, Quebec that is.

*whistle*

He'd be gentle and loving. We'd share little treats from a delly he knows behind Piccadilly. He'd call at 10.30 every night, just to say 'sleep well' and read me a love poem by ee cummings. He'd buy me nice trousers while doing exhibition matches in Singapore on tour in the Far East. He'd surprise me on my birthday when I thought he was in Ontario.

gooner, are you thinking of willie thornton?

Me and Robbie would get drunk on Jack Daniels and spend a coupla hours being angry young men before regressing and ending the evening in tears asking the world why no-one has ever really loved us

excellent material

Leicester Boys Do It With Fascination

very silly thread, I'm a big fan

Oh no he wouldn't, Buckie. He grind your face into the baize, while placing the triangle over your rump and slowly chalking his "cue." You'd ask him to do it quickly, but that would cut no ice with Cliff. Neither would fancy quotations from Mallarme. You'd still be tehre in the New Year. If you were lucky.

no smutt with cliff, he's not like that. It'd be a deeper relationship than that wouldn't it, Buckland?

I know where you're coming from. I feel the same about Wendy Richard.

would you paddle his bum why not?

With Cliff, it wouldn't be like that. It'd be special. We'd chat about this and that, walk in a park, he'd push me on a swing. All tres soft-focus.

Anne-Clair, maka.

French? Greek surely.

Because he's the GRINDER.

And Buckie likes it slow.

But does Cliff give good French? We all know Buckie's weakness.

Poor Claudette . . .

brilliant line! hahahahaha

anyone remember the time that cliff thorburn wouldn't lend the other player (jimmy white? alex higgins?) his extension because he wouldn' agree with him?

so do I

hehe

I love that. I think he means it

HAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAA!

buckie's message