oi getty! who is it has their football watching habits dictated by his woman? eh? yer big girl's blouse.

tg - who was that directed at?

i needed some help too...

the last verse was not true - I just wanted to make it rhyme, which it didn't

sorry, captian!

See yous laters. *GONE*

And I thought there was a silent conspiracy to leave markie on his own on this site, that's why I had'nt jumped in to help him out.

Hello, so your not gonna play pool with us then Markie?

I'm reading it Markie - it sucks.

thought so

is anyone reading this or am I talking to myself?

Some people have met
but thats not for me
this site is about
anonymity

Theres Alvin and Satch
Bobbins, gooner and me
and who could ignore
the ramblings of tree?

my office is empty
It is only me
I chat to the chatsters
to keep sanity

I click on the links
to get to a place
when all I require
is a familiar face

I arrive on the tube
sit down at my desk
turn on my machine
and look at the mess

As I sit here
surrounded by shite
I look at my screen
and play on this site.

Ode to 40%

A site you are
oh yes you are
with people on
err oh fu.ck

bugger

blimey goons you really started something here.

thoughts!

f.uck!!!!

hehehe

In all my time on here
I thought it was a front
My thought are now to think
That you are a soppy C.unt

blimey

Gooner, you've gone right down in my estimation. Soppy t.wat.

if you stick it up there
i'll cut if off
so say a prayer
you stinkin toff

it's getting rather late
i think it's time to go
i think i'll ramble home
and play the pink oboe

hehehe. you girls.

ugh!

What goes on in some of your heads is very very scary!

i'll tell you lots of jokes
you'll think i'm really funny
but it won't be my wit
that i stick up your cunny

Good grief.

Take you to the pub
For a nice Shandy Bass
Then I'll take you home
And violate your ass

i love you so much
i think your the best
if i buy you a drink
can i cum on your chest?

"when I'm thinking of you
vaseline comes in handy
I unzip my flies
and have a hand shandy"

HAHAHAHAHA!!!
"

cynical bastard beria.....

mwah

it's all aboot relief that bit.

see ya

it is according to my dic.

I just wasn't sure how raindrops on a leaf lift anguish - but still...

Right - I'm gone - office move is happening, and the servers are about to die...

Bye all.

is beauteous a word? do you mean beasteous?

(goons now realising that he has exposed his sensitive side is now trying to backpedal so fast he's going to fall off his bike!)

i can't believe this is still here.

i reckon it's an okay effort, for an uncultured spanner like me.

i should point out that, although i am very fond of her indeed, there is a large amount of schmaltz added for poetic effect.

As I open my eyes,
In the sweet morning light,
The vision that greets me,
Is fairly alright.

doesn't have quite the same ring

beri beri - the raindrops thing shuld really follow on from the beauteous momnts bit, but i don't know how to structure it.

the idea is that thoughts of the person ease the tedium of my working day. see?

bobbs missed his real vocation in life, he should have either been writing the insides of birthday cards or composing crass entries in the lonely hearts columns!

thats f*ckin magic gooner!!

especially like "Beauteous moments" line, hehehe nice one.

hehehehehehehehe

look here Sammy
If you say I can't cut it
then bollocks to you
you can jolly well .....!

Satch .. we need you, jump in on Ladies/gents lets get Andrew thread.

bobbs - that's true ... maybe you're just showing your true colours eh?

hehehe

take it down the arse goons and read it over the tannoy at half time. You can get loads of different opinions that way......

my poetry is a little more crass than ususal?

bobbins - I can't believe you stayed awake all this time and you can still type without making mistakes. Have you no ill effects from sleep deprivation?

down in the bar with a nice pint of blackie
pour it on down and then puff on some baccie

That's 'ain't she', of course!

Every time I turn on the computer I have a picture of a short skirted Brittany Spears dancing in front of me, courtesy of my 14 year old son

gooner - you big softy! She's got you ain't ... hook, line and bloody sinker.

Defences down and vulnerability exposed!

atta boy, nice deep red guiness with a inch thick head, expertly tapped, nice dry round coaster.....

not that I'm suffering from a complete caffine overdose or anything - oh no

no f-ing way - conference call at 5 - down the pub at 6 - suffering severe withdrawl symptoms

slow down bobbins, you will have all night to think these up

I've got such a crush
on young Miss Lopez
I gave her a full
dispenser of Pez

That's pretty good...

but...

*ahem*

Like droplets of rain,
On the leaves of a tree,
All anguish is lifted,
Because you’re with me.

I don't get that bit.

...and...

As Ra takes his leave,
And we enter the night,
I’ll sleep so gently,
As my world is right.

personally, when I'm with the woman I love, I do (ahem) something before sleeping gently - you may need another verse in there.

...but it's very good, gooner. Good effort.

it's the stopping that's bad for you.

no; electric pump, which you may be familiar with

I'm old enough to have learned that beer before 6pm is bad for me

Must go home

A hand beer?

it was beer, not shandy

Stoppit.

when I'm thinking of you
vaseline comes in handy
I unzip my flies
and have a hand shandy

BARF!

You in love with her, gooner?

I've just been for a pint

like evapotransperation,
from the leaves of a tree,
All anguish is lifted,
Because you’re with me.

hehehe

wheres the reference to me?

God, I just keep having to read and re-read it. It's taking control of my life. Get it out of my head. My eyes, my eyes!

ooh, goons! harsh! I think it's lovely, really.

keep with that style sef.

[starts stupid hand movements]

i want my work to be interpreted in a purely subjective manner. i want it to relate to the reader or listener, and their lives and experiences.

I thought this was hardcore. I was reading it in the style of a Fugazi song.

not from blokes, spanky.

anyway, i wouldn't worry about receiving anything like that if i was you.

(ducks very low indeed)

you could be onto a winner.

i wrote a punk song about the queen when i was at school, called 'Crusty Old Cunt'. i lost that. damned shame.

i think i might go hardcore with my next effort.

As an example:

Day is now past,
Like a warm memory,
Time has no meaning,
Because Jennifer Lopez is with me.

yikes gooner, you've outed me. are you trying to say lezzas don't like poetry?

Maybe you could change a few words though... (these are obviously just suggestions, feel free to dismiss them out of hand)...

Throughout, perhaps you could repalce the word "you're" with the words "Jennifer Lopez is". I think that might help it scan a little more effortlessly. What do you think?

illiterate guavan pigmy goats?

pig - hehehehe

It speaks to me, and millions like me, gooner.

right, i'll call it lyrics pigsy. better?

hehehe

goth city

roses are red
violets are blue
poetries for woosis
gooner, say it isn't true

thought i was pretty close w/ this one at the time

gooner?
now i'm sure

*wipes away tear, cleans up yak on desk*

sef - no mate. anything i've ever written i've thrown away.

it's a nice bloody poem, tanky, you fukkin lezza.

sef - any suggestions?

Have you tried to get anything published, Gooner?

"My heart, my eyes stop," looks like a tricky one. That's a two-digestive-biscuits-and-a-look-out-of-the-window problem-line.

*wipes away tear*

i would vomit if a bloke sent me that and dump him immediately. but that's just me.

you too sean

beautiful.

i bet you cried bobbs

hahahha bobbins!!

kinda. it's not based wholly on fact.

artistic licence i think they call it.

you expletiveing soppy twat!

if this is for your lady, you've got it bad.

try to guess teh lines i had probs with (and DON'T say all of them)

haha! snap fnord!

Glad to see tree gets a mention.

tree gets a namecheck!

jumpin jehosaphat!!

jeez

sun god leaves = night time

the poem/song goes from morning to night.

I don't understand what it has to do with Ra

lovely

[ducks]

bear in mind this is like 2 hours work.

Because

As I open my eyes,
In the sweet morning light,
The vision that greets me,
Sets my soul alight.

My heart, my eyes stop,
Arrested by glee,
Senses flooded with joy,
Because you’re with me.

As I attend to the labours,
Of my daily grind,
Beauteous moments,
In my thoughts I do find.

Like droplets of rain,
On the leaves of a tree,
All anguish is lifted,
Because you’re with me.

As I sit in the evening,
Biding my time,
The dusk falls around me,
And sunlight declines.

Day is now past,
Like a warm memory,
Time has no meaning,
Because you’re with me.

As Ra takes his leave,
And we enter the night,
I’ll sleep so gently,
As my world is right.

For I know an Angel,
As pure as can be,
I know her so well,
Because you’re with me.