Chipmunks? FLOUNCERS!

I don't know, Tom, but you follow us like a septic badger follows a trail of insect larvae.

Please Mr Septic Badger. Please don't eat this insect larvae. It's my favourite.

Small mammals, including ground squirrels, mice, prairie dogs and chipmunks.
Insect larvae.
Snakes and lizards.
Frogs and toads.
Vegetable material, including cereals.

Oooh! They're hard on the internet!

Why would we want to catch up with that shit?

*saves thread for three years hence when the north catches up*

Not oop north. That's just you Nathan Barley wannabes down south.

I've noticed those really crappy baseball caps being worn over here now, the massive ones with the names of american combine harvester manufacturers on them. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

The Special K eating flouncers

To be fair, most of the curry we eat is of a style invented in this country.

And real badgers can handle it, whereas septic badgers would flounce off waving their hand over their mouths going 'Ooh it burns it burns'.

Oh. I don't. Well, you've got me bang to rights on the curry.

um.. you can't get your own sunny vacation in england, you put curry in everything, you wear baseball caps more than we do and worship great british singers like kylie and britney.

Eh?

Bovril, curry and pies mate.

and BritBadger eats what? Tea and crumpets and a watercress gizpacho?

Eh?

The rest of the world's badgers would take a passing interest one night a year but would otherwise get on with fighting each other in the normal way.

Probably.

Then BritBadger's victory party would include champagne with curry in it, Britney Spears performing, commemorative baseball caps and t-shirts, a trip to sunny Malta... all while being proclaimed a truly Great British Victory

I bet the little flouncers eat Special K, with fooking strawberries in and skimmed milk. Focking flouncers.

Hold on though...

The American badger is much more carnivorous than the other badger species, and actively hunts its prey. The following food items are eaten:

Small mammals, including ground squirrels, mice, prairie dogs and chipmunks.
Insect larvae.
Snakes and lizards.
Frogs and toads.
Vegetable material, including cereals.

Ah. They had me worried until the last one.

Let's see how their weaponry shapes up:

Wussy septic badger

Terrifying Brit badger

brit badgers are rock hard. 100% FACT

Anyway, badgers can't fly helicopters and that. They get whupped, hand-to-hand (well, claw-to-claw)

so the brit one's gonna win eh?

been living on the almost manicured green lawn of some gravel toothed fauntleroy while "Tiger" has been enduring the harsh conditions of "Operation: Sort Their Asses"

Face it, the US badger would have to invent lots of really weird rules, fight itself, and declare itself World Champion Badger.

The rest of the world's badgers would take a passing interest one night a year but would otherwise get on with fighting each other in the normal way.

I didn't make that up.

At around 90 cm (35 ins) in length (including a tail of around 15 cm), and weighing in at around 9 - 11 kg on average (up to 20 kg in parts of Russia!), the European badger is one of the largest of the mustelids. The American badger, the hog badger and the honey badger are similar in size and weight, though generally a little smaller and lighter. The stink badgers are smaller still, and the ferret badgers are the smallest of all.

that soft brit one does

Badgers don't live on lawns.

so the brit one's gonna win eh?

been living on the almost manicured green lawn of some gravel toothed fauntleroy while "Tiger" has been enduring the harsh conditions of "Operation: Sort Their Asses"

i see

Hehehehehehehe.

Now HERE'S a woman asking for trouble...

www.badgerland.co.uk/externalnews/funnies.html

"Smart thinking: The owner of an animal sanctuary in Great Haseley, Oxfordshire, has ordered a Burberry dog coat for a badger whose fur didn't grow back after it moulted."

Great. So she's now got a skinhead burberry badger. Nice one love.

Reason Number 2 : Henderson's (that's HENDERSON'S) relish. The brit badger is choc full of it.

He's beginning to cower back into his hole already, let's face it.

Never trust a badger. Never trust a septic. Never ever trust a septic badger.

Very wise words, Sharon.

And when Brit badger gets hold of it, it's going home in a Maine ambulance

It's not a badger.

It's a meerkat with a fur coat and all Braveheart face make up and that.

I've seen a platypus. You should have seen what the eskimo was doing to it.

Ah, but the Ewok at the bottom might have weapons and shit.

The cnut.

I'm still not convinced that septic badgers are real. I think they're fakes, like platypuses and eskimoes.

It's got very meerkatty eyes, that septic badger

That's about as competitive a matchup as an Audley Harrisson "fight"

Brit Badger. Thanks to Bovril.

Brit badger

and

Yank badger?