The Burtonsville Bullets

"Why not us??"


Hi, this is Wes Unseld, acting coach and GM of the Burtonsville Bullets. The Bullets are a fantasy basketball team in the CSBL (Computer Strat-o-matic Basketball League?? I don't know). This is a little hole on the internet that I've devoted to my team. This page will have things on it such as current rosters, draft information, and team history. Most likely, no one in their right minds would give a rat's ass about what's on this page, but, just like my team, this is for my amusement, so humor me.

1996-97 Stats

NAME...............GP....GS....MPG....PPG....RPG...APG....FG%.....3P%
Joe Smith.............82......80.....35.8.....25.4......9.1......1.2....%.423....%.300
Fred Hoiberg..........3.......3.....30.3.....19.3......3.0......2.7....%.684....%.000
Chris Mills............82......82.....38.2.....14.7......6.1......2.9....%.506....%.401
Tyus Edney..........76......69.....33.3.....14.0......2.6......7.0....%.445....%.444
Chris Whitney........6........5......24.2.......9.2......1.2......3.0....%.318....%.118
P.J. Brown............81......67.....31.8......9.0......5.8......1.4....%.411....%.214
Chucky Brown......80......42.....26.1......8.5......5.5......1.1....%.519....%.000
Jerome Kersey......70......35.....17.0......5.6......3.5......1.0....%.411....%.091
Bryon Russell.........11.......5.....17.5......5.3......2.5......0.9....%.391....%.286
Ledell Eackles.......80......11.....14.7......5.2......1.7......0.9....%.438....%.426
Sam Mack............74........1.......9.8......4.4......1.2......0.8.....%.442....%.430
Khalid Reeves.......74........6.....11.6......4.3......1.1......1.7.....%.401....%.331
Derek Strong.........37........0.....11.7......3.0......3.0......0.5....%.404....%.200
Sasha Danilovic......24.......1......7.8.......2.8......0.3......0.7.....%.458...%.485
Duane Causewell....78.......1.....12.4......2.7......2.9......0.6.....%.398....%.000
Pete Myers.............66.......2......8.0.......2.1......1.3......1.1.....%.349....%.189

Current Roster

Joe Smith
Stephon Marbury
Bob Sura
Bryon Russell
Derek Strong
Sean Rooks
Erick Strickland
Aaron Williams
Corliss Williamson
Fred Hoiberg
Chucky Brown
Greg Minor
Michael Curry
Eric Murdock
Horatio Llamas
Sam Mack


This Year's Draft:
#2 - Stephon Marbury
#26 - Erick Strickland
#31 - Aaron Williams
#59 - Horatio Llamas


Okay, stop laughing, I know they suck. In fact, they suck really bad. But they're my team and I have to deal with them. I'm trying to completely rebuild, and right now, it's in the slow and painful part of the process. But to give you a bit of team history, look at the roster I started out with:


Ronny Seikaly
Andrew Lang
Kevin Johnson
Anthony Mason
Chris Mills
P.J. Brown
Ledell Eackles
Pete Myers
David Wingate
Harold Minor
Jerome Kersey
Walter Bond
Lamond Murray
B.J. Tyler
Tony Campbell
Johnny Dawkins


Whew....now, those guys really suck. Okay, I'll admit, Seikaly, KJ and Mace are decent, but at the start of last season when I got the team, Seikaly looked like he was washed up in Golden State and KJ was injured half the year and was going to retire. They were both old. Mason was 29 and still had some years left in him, but I figured I had to trade him. As it turns out I didn't get much in return...just a draft pick with which I got Tyus Edney....who may or may not be washed up in only his second year.


So after that first year of rebuilding, I was stuck with:


Joe Smith
Derek Strong
Chucky Brown
Jerome Kersey
Bryon Russell
Ledell Eackles
Pete Myers
Fred Hoiberg
Duane Causewell
P.J. Brown
Khalid Reeves
Tyus Edney
Sasha Danilovic
Sam Mack
Chris Whitney
Chris Mills


As far as drafting is concerned, last year, I thought I had a good draft. I took Joe Smith with the first pick overall, Tyus Edney in the mid first round, and Sasha Danilovic early in the second round. Joe was obviously going to be a star. Tyus looked like a decent gamble, and Sasha looked to be a fine bench player for years to come. Too bad he left for Greece or Italy, or something. So I had to trade him away for peanuts. And Tyus did better his rookie season than he did in his second season. I did manage to lower the average age on my team by 2 and a half years, but with Edney and Sasha being gay, I have to start again.


So for this year's draft, I was lined up with the second pick overall and I figured I was going to try again to get a point guard so I took Stephon Marbury. This kid's going to be awesome. And he can feed the beast (Big Joe) all day long. And with my later picks, I think I got a steal with Erick Strickland at #26 and while I probably took Aaron Williams too early, I wanted to get a big guy off the bench who has some potential and I really like Williams up in Seattle. And I also traded for two first round picks next year, one of which could give me a good deal of ping pong balls. But it looks like no matter what I do, my team will suck really bad (again) this upcoming year, so I'll end up with two high picks next year. That means I have a good shot at Tim Duncan. Enough said.


But the Burtonsville Bullets are gelling as a team. They're forming a cohesive unit despite all the player movement I've put them through. They know that they're part of something special and they expect great things of themselves in the future. The atmosphere in the locker room is patient optimism. The team seems to rally around two leaders, and I have named them co-captains:


Joe Smith


Fred Hoiberg


Joe is an obvious choice. And you can laugh all you want about Fred Hoiberg, but he is an obvious choice as well. His floor leadership and savvy is something that all the other guys respect. His knowledge of the game and ability to draw the tough foul is uncanny. And besides, he's The Mayor. You can't argue with that.


We'll see everyone in the CSBL championship game....eventually....



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