Home of the Cowgirls
Q: Why does Texas Stadium have Astroturf? A: To keep the fans from grazing during the game.
Here's a nice thought...
Q: How do you make Deion Sanders slower than a snail? A: Call a pass route through a metal detector and wait for him to remove his jewelry.
Q: What is Micheal Irvin's favorite color? A: Powder white.
So now they say we're supposed to believe that the Cryboys are, "America's Team"?!?!?!? What's with that? Well I'll tell ya one thing...If the Cowgirls are "America's Team", then America is in sad shape. Speaking of which... Jerry Jones was really upset with Irvin for the hotel room incident. After all, Irvin did get caught with coke instead of Pepsi. Jones was overheard yelling at Irvin: I said Pepsi and Nike, not coke and nookie!
Q: How do you get a Cowboy to stand up? A: Say "Will the defendant please rise."
Now if this doesn't just sum up everything there is to know about Dallas, then I don't know what would.Q: Four Cowboys are traveling down the road. Who is driving? A: The police officer!
Q: Why did Micheal Irvin ask to be traded to Green Bay? (ugh! perish the thought - swash) A: He heard there was plenty of "snow" and all of it was free.
Q: What do they call a crime circle in Dallas? A: A huddle.
Q: Why can't Micheal Irvin get into a huddle on the football field? A: It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.
It's true: The Bears are trying to trade for Micheal Irvin. Since they no longer have The Refrigerator, they want to get a coke machine.
Try singing the following song to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas". There's a football team in Dallas They wear those big blue stars They all get high on cocaine Get drunk and crash their cars They like to punch their girlfriends And enter planes with guns So when I see the Cowboys lose It's always lots of fun....
Q: Why does Irving want to play for the Phil. Eagles? A: He has heard there is crack in the Liberty Bell !
Q: Why did Micheal Irvin want to be in the movie Peter Pan? A: To get the Pixie dust.
Q: Why did the Cowboys ask the NFL to let them play all their games at home this year? A: Half the players aren't allowed to leave the state lines anymore!
"Don't take anything away from them. We wanted the game, no doubt, but they came out and beat our butts. They are a better football team than us. I can't tell the future, just what happened today. They are a better team than us, period." -Mikey Irvin (After getting beaten by the Chiefs one game. After he said this that game day, he went home and proceded to smoke some crack cocaine.)
Jerry Jones died and went to heaven. God was showing him his house, and it was this run down shack with an old, tattered Cowboy flag hanging over the front door. Jerry Jones wasn't too happy with this. He then looked off into the distance and saw a beautiful mansion with a bright and bold Green Bay Packer Flag hanging over the doorway. Jerry Jones said to God, "I don't mean to be ungrateful, but how come Vince Lombardi gets that gorgeous mansion for a home, and I get this rundown shack?" God replied, "That's not Lombardi's home, that's mine."
Q: What's the difference between Jerry Jones and a Carp? A: One's a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish.
None of the Cowboys have been able to go home. Last time they were out of town, someone painted goal lines across their driveways and they can't make it over them.
Q: Why is Troy Aikman unable to answer a telephone? A: He can't find the receiver.
Q: What's the difference between Irving Stadium and a porcupine? A: On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
Q: What's the difference between Cheerios and The Cowboys? A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
Q: What do you call 40 millionaires watching the Super Bowl? A: The Dallas Cowboys.
Einstein was talking to 3 people. One had an I.Q. of 250 ,one had an I.Q. of 150 and the other 50. Einstein said to the one with a 250 I.Q., let's talk the theory of relativity. He said to the one with an I.Q. of 150, let's talk physics, and he to the guy with a 50 I.Q., "HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?!"
What do Cowboy fans and hemorrhoids have in common? They're both a pain in the butt and never seem to go away completely.
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