Useless Fluff to Take up Space

This is the section of my page for all the things I don't know where to put. One-liners, snippets of skits I haven't made up yet, little things, and more useless fluff. This is where you see true psychosis at work. Enjoy, but not too much...

Man #1:You wouldn't know comedy if it came and slapped you on the face with a rather large mackeral!

(Rather large, middle-aged, cupid-like figure dressed in a diaper, carrying a rather large mackeral, and having a banner with the word "comedy" written on it wrapped aroung his rather large abdomenal region steps on stage. Walks over to Man #2 and slaps him in the face with the rather large mackeral. Then walks off. Man #2 looks stunned.)

Man #1:(Pointing off stage.) That's comedy!

Lawyer:Now, you claim that you shot the victim by accident, is that correct?

Witness:(Confidently) Yes.

Lawyer:You shot him by accident 43 times?

Witness(Not quite as confident) My finger kept twitching on the trigger.

Lawyer:Sir, in order to have shot him 43 times, you would have had to empty a clip into him, stop, unload, reload, empty that clip into him, stop, unload, reload...

Witness:Would you believe I lost temporary control of my arms?

Lawyer:No sir.

Newscaster:I'm Dick Faset, and this is a news flash.

(Dick opens his trench coat, and reveals a sign with "news" written on it. Then closes the coat and runs off stage.)

Man #1:Are you lisenced to kill?

Secret Agent:No, only severly mame.