THREE FATES OF A MOBSTER Written By Andrew Atkins -------------------------------------------------------------- FADE IN: INT. OFFICE - MORNING In a small cluttered office lies a desk and two comfortable, leather chairs resting at opposite ends of the desk. Sitting at the chair behind the desk is a middle-aged man, CAGE. He has slick black hair, clean-shaven and wears an expensive tuxedo. There's also a relatively young man sitting in the chair in front of the desk, with shaggy brown hair and stubble for a beard. He is dressed very casually, his name is STAN. CAGE You're late. Stan pointing to his watch. STAN Six minutes early. CAGE Did you bring your resume? STAN I didn't know you needed a resume for this kind of deal. CAGE Fair enough, but you know it's always good to have one handy just incase. STAN I'll keep that in mind. There's a pause; both men take in what's been said. Cage sits up straight in his chair. CAGE I guess you know why you're here. STAN I think so - I did well on the test, right? 2. CAGE Not only that, you also fit our criteria. STAN And what are your criteria? CAGE Smart, logical, resourceful and someone that doesn't give a fuck. STAN Am I supposed to take that as a compliment? CAGE Take that however you want, you don't care, remember? Moving on, I was looking over your profile, and - how should I say this - you're one smart motherfucker. STAN Thanks. CAGE But may I ask? A man with your intellect - I mean, shouldn't you know choosing a life of crime isn't exactly, well - the right career choice. STAN I am aware of that. CAGE However... STAN However... nobody's perfect. CAGE Perfect, there's a word for you. Let me tell you something about the word perfect -- it doesn't exist. STAN What do you mean? 3. CAGE Perfect by my definition is something that's complete in its nature. You drop a ball, it falls. STAN Want to elaborate? CAGE Human nature, people die, people lie. People swear, people care. People fuck, people suck, and so on. (pause) That is perfection. CAGE (C (CONT'D) Then there's the bullshit definition: Something that is flawless, like a piece of writing or a painting. It's nonexistent, it's optimism. STAN Optimism is for pussies. CAGE How so? STAN They're only two reasons why people are optimistic. One, they're unable or don't want to see the truth, so they allow their optimism to blind them from it. And two, they use it as justification. CAGE Justification? STAN Yeah, they try to justify their actions whether they are bad, for a greater good. CAGE Does this mean you're not optimistic about your career choice? 4. STAN No. I never said that - in fact I'm quite optimistic about this career choice. CAGE So you're a pussy? STAN It certainly appears so. CAGE You better not be, the last thing I need is some dickless piece of shit running around, with mommy's nipples still between their teeth. STAN Yeah. Don't worry. CAGE Good. Cause if you are we'll find out real fucking fast. CAGE (CONT'D) (Direct - getting the point across) Now -- they're three fates of a mobster and only three, so remember 'em good. One, you get a bullet through the head. CUT TO: A quick glance of Stan in an expensive tuxedo, the same one Cage is wearing. He gets shot in the head during a bank robbery by a police officer. BACK TO: CAGE (CONT'D) Two, You're tortured for days - each minute begging for death. CUT TO: A quick shot of Stan with most of his hair ripped out, insane amounts of blood all over his face and scalp. We see the backs of three figures of men standing in front of him, one of them, Cage. BACK TO: 5. CAGE (CONT'D) And three, you serve about 160 years in the penitentiary, which results in… uh - suicide, if you know what I mean. We can't take any chances. It's not that I doubt you or anything - it's just when men are under extreme pressure - you know - they might let something slip. CUT TO: A quick shot of Stan with a rope tied tightly around his neck, hung from a ceiling in a jail cell. FADE TO BLACK. CUT TO: TITLE SEQUENCE ROLL CREDITS INT. RESTAURANT - AFTERNOON Two men are sitting down at a local restaurant having lunch in the middle of the afternoon. They're both wearing the same tuxedos. They're each having a plate full of fries and a hamburger with a huge mug of beer. Porter is a 30 year old male with blonde hair and blue eyes and is in great shape. The typical "pretty boy" look. Gordon looks identical to Porter, with the exception he's about 150 pounds over weight. GORDON Hey Porter. PORTER Yeah? GORDON You gonna finish that burger? PORTER Jesus Christ man, yes. Porter takes the burger off his plate and takes a big juicy bite. He is eyeballing Gordon as if it's the tastiest burger he has ever had the privilege of eating. PORTER (CONT'D) I thought you were on a diet? 6. GORDON Does it look like I'm on a diet? PORTER You need more than a fuckin' diet, my friend -- you need some motivation first. GORDON Motivation... For what? PORTER To drop a few pounds, fatty. At least to a reasonable size, so you can at least be fuckable. GORDON (Second guessing himself) I'm fuckable. Porter whistles a waitress over, she's the hottest waitress Gordon has ever seen. She's wearing a hot white tank top, a short black skirt and a smile. WAITRESS Can I get you fellas anything? PORTER Tell ya' what, if you give us your honest opinion, I'll give you one motherfuckin' generous tip. WAITRESS ...About what? PORTER Do you think this hefty fella over here is fuckable? WAITRESS Fuckable... PORTER Yes. Fuckable. WAITRESS No - well I have standards -- I mean I don't have a thing for big guys - you know. 7. PORTER Yes, I do know. Thank you, you've been most helpful. WAITRESS Ok - well, if you guys need anything else, just let me know. PORTER Will do. She nods and gracefully walks away. GORDON Yeah, fuck you. PORTER Only trying to help, man. Tell me something Gordy, when's the last time been laid? GORDON I've gotten laid before. PORTER I said the last time. GORDON Not too long ago. PORTER When? GORDON (mumbles) sev-seven years. PORTER (laughing hysterically) SEVEN FUCKING YEARS? GORDON Shut the fuck up. PORTER YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN LAID IN SEVEN LONG-FUCKING-YEARS?! GORDON I said shut the fuck up. 8. PORTER If that isn't a reason for motivation, I don't know what is. In a desperate attempt to change the topic of conversation, Gordon brings up Stan. GORDON Did you hear about what happened to Stan? His desperate attempt has succeeded. PORTER Hear? I was fuckin' there man. There's a short pause, Porter is replaying the incident again in his head. PORTER (CONT'D) (Disbelief) Fuck man - have you ever seen anyone go through so much shit before he took his last breath? GORDON That was fucked up, what a waste of talent. PORTER You almost hafta feel sorry for the guy - you know? He was one of the best - atleast one of the best I've ever had the pleasure to work with. Gordon holds up his mug of beer with a gesture to a toast. GORDON To Stan. PORTER To Stan. Porter reaches into his wallet, pulls out a wad of cash just enough for the meal, and puts it on the table. PORTER (CONT'D) It's on me. GORDON What about that motherfuckin' generous tip? 9. PORTER You wanna give her the tip? The women that said you were the most disgusting piece of shit that ever walked the earth. GORDON She never said that. PORTER Yes or no. GORDON No. PORTER Then shut up, and let's go. The two get up and walk out of the restaurant. As they're leaving they stand out like a red-head in a room full of brunettes. They're obviously overdressed with their pimping tuxedos, compared to the people around them. EXT. RESTAURANT - AFTERNOON The two mobsters are in the restaurant's parking lot walking towards their car. Gordon is a few steps behind completely winded, struggling to keep up. GORDON (winded) Porter... PORTER Yo. GORDON You think Cage knows... PORTER About - uh, your lovemaking... difficulties? GORDON No asshole, about Stan. PORTER Yeah - unfortunately, I was the one who told him. 10. GORDON Haha - you poor bastard. How did he take the news? PORTER How do you think? He was super fuckin-pissed. The men finally reach the car. The car is practically made of plastic. Once in the car, Gordon practically collapses in his seat, causing the entire car to shake like it was a roller coaster. PORTER (CONT'D) Whoa! - what the fuck man, you nearly bent this shit in half! GORDON I did not almost snap the car in half. PORTER Be careful man, this is a cheap fuckin' car. GORDON Yeah, yeah, so tell me what happened? FADE TO BLACK: CUT TO: The first fate sequence of Stan, we saw earlier. FADE TO BLACK: "Exactly forty-five minutes earlier." Appears over the black screen. FADE OUT: SFX: The distorted chatter going on in a bank meshed with employee's going to work on their keyboards at a hundred miles per hour. FADE IN: 11. INT. BANK - MORNING The bank is crowded and full of impatient white-collar workers anxiously waiting to cash their check on a Saturday morning. Behind one of the tellers stands an employee of the bank, Stan. He is dressed in his expensive tuxedo. STAN (yelling) Can I help the next person in line? The next person in line is a thirty three year old women. She's dressed in a black suit, and black shades resting on her nose. STAN (CONT'D) Can I hel... He's cut off LADY Here. She slams the check on the counter, she's in a huge rush. STAN Bank card? She starts scrambling through her purse looking for her bank card. Ah! She finds it at last. LADY Here. STAN You working on a Saturday? He starts processing her check, as she stands impatiently. LADY Nice tux. STAN (flattered) Aw, thanks. I dress to impress. Stan takes a moment and thinks about how untrue that statement is. STAN (CONT'D) So you workin' on a Saturday? 12. LADY No. I got locked in my office all fuckin' night. STAN All night? LADY All fuckin' night. STAN How'd that happen. LADY It's a long story. STAN I like stories. LADY Maybe some other time. Stan is finished processing her check, he kindly gives her back card bank, along with a receipt. STAN Take care. LADY Yeah. She rushes out the door. STAN (yelling) Can I help the next person in line, please. To audience's and Stan's surprise, the next person in line is Porter. He casually walks up to the teller where Stan is standing. PORTER Stan the man. STAN What the fuck are you doing here, Porter? We're not starting the job for another two hours. 13. PORTER Yeah I know. Listen, change of plans - (cut off) STAN What? Why? PORTER Will you let me finish? STAN Sorry, go ahead. PORTER Okay, listen. According to Cage, some dipshit - we don't know who yet, tipped off the cops. STAN What? Who? PORTER I said I don't know. STAN And who told you this? PORTER Cage. STAN Are you fucking shitting me? PORTER No. STAN Jesus Christ. STAN (CONT'D) So what are we suppose to do? This was THE JOB. PORTER I know, man. What you're suppose to do is get the fuck out of here as soon as possible. You ain't safe here. STAN (fustrated) Bullshit. 14. This was THE-FUCKING-JOB. This is a once in a life time oppertunity. PORTER Will you keep your voice down? I know it was, but things change. STAN Fine. Fuck it. Forget it. Let's leave, now. PORTER Alright... Sorry about this. It's fucked up, it really is, but shit happens, ya' know? STAN Yeah, let's just go. PORTER Alright. Stan hops over the counter seperating the two mobsters, and they both walk out the door like nothing happened. EXT. BANK - MORNING Stan and Porter walk down a busy street just outside the bank towards Porter's car. They are downtown, surrounded by towering buildings made of glass around them. Billboards and posters fill street corners with the latest advertisements. STAN Where are you parked? PORTER Just over here. PORTER (CONT'D) Where's your car? STAN Don't have one. PORTER You don't have a car? STAN Don't drive. PORTER Why not? 15. STAN Never learned. PORTER You never learned to drive? STAN Well I know how to drive, but not offically. I never got my liscence. PORTER Why not? STAN There's public transportation. PORTER ...Public Transportation is for losers, man. STAN Plus I got you to drive me places. As they both get in the car, a hundred million cops come out of nowhere. They are all pointing guns at the car demanding a surrender. COPS GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE NOW! STAN (To Porter) Vehicle... Why don't they just say car? PORTER Yeah, it's like they're robots or something programmed. STAN That's a nice little analogy... You gonna do something? COPS GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! PORTER You ready? 16. STAN For what? Just then Porter slams on the gas and the car accelerates through the busy street. The cops don't fire, instead start to chase the fugatives. SFX: Cop sirens blaring in the background. Stan casually starts a conversation, while Porter is intensively dodging and swirving on coming cars, just avoiding collision with each on oming car. STAN (CONT'D) God... How typical is this? PORTER What you mean? STAN Well, here we are, two criminals in the middle of a car chase with cops. PORTER Yeah, this is a little cliche, isn't it? STAN You got that right. If I wanted to be cliche, I would've been a pretentious painter or something. PORTER You paint? STAN No, I'm a fucking criminal instead. Technically, I'm not even a fucking criminal, I haven't even done anything yet. PORTER Conspiring. STAN I mean a real crime. PORTER You'll get your chance, don't worry. 17. The car comes to a stop, there's no way past this traffic, way too many cars on the road. PORTER (CONT'D) FUCK! STAN The sidewalk. Go. PORTER The sidewalk it is. Porter backs the car up, and head towards the sidewalk. Once on the sidewalk, he hits the gas and accelerates. Pedestrians see the oncoming car and desperately dive out of the way. STAN Hit the horn. Porter starts honking to get the attention of people that there's a car going fifty miles per hour on a sidewalk, heading straight for them. Some of them though, are too slow and get trampled by the car. They are hitting pedestrians left, right and center. STAN (CONT'D) Ouch. That would suck. PORTER What? STAN If I were to go out like that - I'd want to go out with style. PORTER The fuck you talking about. STAN Well, if I so happen to die by getting hit by a car, I'd want it to be a nice car... Not this peice of shit. Like a Ferrari or something. That would be going out with style. PORTER Who cares? You're dead either way. 18. STAN True. But how cool would that sound. When people would talk about your death, they would always mention the Ferrari. Otherwise, they would just say: a car. But if it was a Ferrari, it's no longer a car, it's a fucking Ferrari. Porter looks through the rear view mirror, no cops to be seen. We also no longer the cop sirens. PORTER Think we lost 'em? STAN Yeah, I think we lost them with our little sidewalk escapade. PORTER Yeah, that was good thinking. Good job. STAN Yeah, now stop the car. PORTER Why? STAN Now that we've lost 'em. Let's not draw attention to our selves. Stop the car. Porter follows directions and stops the car. STAN (CONT'D) Alright, let's get out. Stan opens the door and runs towards narrow steps leading towards a subway. Porter follows. They both PORTER Where we going? STAN Subway. PORTER I don't have any change, man. Stan pulls out a strip of tickets. 19. PORTER (CONT'D) Jesus Christ, you weren't lying about taking the bus. You really are a loser. STAN Here. Stan hands Porter a ticket. INT. SUBWAY - MORNING