Generic Fairytale Act III Scene 2
The Princess finally reaches the cave where her Prince Charming is being held captive by the evil Sorority Girl. Her clothes are tattered by her trials in the swamp of sorrow, and her face was never as beautiful as the princesses she read about in the fairytales. There was one thing that the princess has that no evil sorority sister has, for the Princess drew the scimitar of infatuous love out of the stone of superficiality.
Princess: Alas my prince, it is time to leave your keeper. When you were but a lad you were abducted by this fair clad monster. While I searched she taught you to lust after physical beauty and indulge yourself in mindless chatter. Now you may return to your natural, charming self, for you have been found. We will live together, happily ever after!
Cave-Dwelling Sorority Girl: Nonsense. Princey wants to remain here with me. He likes what I do for him. I abase myself so that he feels like a man and harm his tender head making him search for my attractiveness. I skew his perception of women by taking care of his every need. He is happy here and has already made up his mind.
Prince Charming: Well actually I...
Princess: Wish to return to our castle in the fair land of Avonlea where we will be married and eternally happy. Yes, I will deliver you from this foul harpy clad in a 24 inch waist, artificial blond hair and a habitual smile. Her guise is no shield to my unsheathed emotion. You will never really know a woman like this so shallow in thought and deed, but my needs and wants will be fulfilled by you, my Prince Charming.
Sorority Girl: He wants to stay with me!
Princess: SILENCE!
The Princess draws her scimitar, tempered true by love, and with one brutal swing hacks the Sorority girl in half. The torn body falls to the ground and as it falls all the evils of the world rush out. Misery, disease, thoughtlessness, pride, like Pandora's box the fair skin of the Sorority girl contained all of these things where the unsuspecting eye would never find them.
Prince: Well I never...
Princess: You will be with me forever!
They break into song.
Prince: Into the cave to fight a dragon, There was I tempted true!
Princess: The hounds died in the swamp of sorrow, but my heart led me straight to you!
Prince: She shimmied her eyelashes to draw me in, I couldn't have known she was full of sin!
Princess: And then the creature I saw entranced thee, The spell couldn't break except you find me.
Together: Oh we will never against love again doubt, Together forever we'll sing and we'll shout. . .
They pause momentarily, look into each others eyes and kiss.
Together: I LOVE YOU!!!
Disco balls drop from the ceiling and dancers fill the stage. Prince Charming and Princess Somedayit'llbeyou slowly walk into the castle in the backdrop and live happily ever after.
Epilogue What Princess Somedayit'llbeyou didn't realize was that Prince Charming was actually not Prince Charming. He was actually an evil creature in a cheap Prince Charming suit he bought specifically for the grand ball. Unfortunately Princess Somedayit'llbeyou met the so called Prince Charming at the Ball and had immediately fallen for his exterior attractiveness while inside the suit was a malevolent selfish creature. When the Princess thought her love had been abducted he had in fact willingly run off with the Sorority girl, for in his own evilness he was rabidly attracted to the monster. This evil Prince could have no appreciation for the Princess for he was much too shallow. The two only PRETENDED to live happily ever after but in fact underwent marriage counseling twice a week at the strike of twelve when none else suspected it. You know the moral of the story.
The End