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Mustache Mania

October 28, 1998

5th Edition

Welcome to the 5th edition of Mustache Mania. I this issue we have a new joke of the week, delicious dinner recipe, a letter from Ask Alice, as well as horoscopes, classifieds and a new word puzzle.

Got quesions and need answers? Look no further, because Mustachemaina is now featuring "Just Ask Alice". An advice column for real people with real problems, also for stupid people with stupid problems. Either way you can't go wrong with the wisdom you will receive when you ask Alice a question, and its completely confidential.(I'd put a breakhere too)Until the form for the column is set up please send all questions to justaskalice@hotmail.com, thanks.

Short Story:

Last Oct. I got community service for hitting some chick's car. I did 4 hours in January, and got to know one of the lieutenants pretty well, Lt.. Gonzoles...Gonzo for short, and made up 8 more hours after that, but on my last 4 hours I forgot my paper and he said I could bring it in later. So, I had finally finished my hours and went to go get my paper signed from the Fire Station out in Inverness, I went in to get someone to sign my papers, and this guy's asking me who was there when I did my time...and I noticed Gonzo's picture by the vending machine...so I pointed to his picture and said...Ask him! He was there! How's Gonzo doing anyway? We buried him last week...He had diabetes and leukemia...and one day his body just shut down, he was only 42. I really miss Gonzo, he was pretty cool for an old guy -Phoenix

Roasted Garlic Hen

Ingredients:

1(or more) Cornish hens (they're just really small chickens)

1 bulb of garlic per hen

Sage

Thyme

Oregano

Celery Salt

Basil

Pepper

Ginger Snaps (optional)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 450.lay hen in a sink full of warm water to defrost, and wash thoroughly inside and out. Place hen on carving board, and tuck wings underneath. Break and peel garlic into cloves, and stuff into hen. Lightly sprinkle celery salt over entire chicken, and proceed with sage, thyme, oregano, basil and pepper. Tuck legs together, so the garlic won't fall out during roasting. Roast for 1 hour, or until golden brown. (Best method to check poultry is to see if the leg breaks off easily) let cool before serving, and enjoy. Best if served with freshly steamed Asparagus. -Phoenix

Classifieds and Personal Ads:

none this week but please send yours to mustachemania@hotmail.com

Horoscopes for the week of 10/25 through 10/31

Aries: This Sunday you use your wise abilities to differentiate betweensomething that you would enjoy spending time with as opposedto an activity you may have to abandon soon. Some quiet time for creativity and exercise is imperative for now. You couldreceive unexpected help from someone older or from authority figureson Monday. A teacher could appear. Studies of all kindsare in order this Tuesday, perhaps some night classes. Events may makeit easy for you to be original, have breakthroughs andfind new solutions to old problems. Think through what you want to sayand remove any discriminations you may be havingnow. Using your common sense will be valuable as you face some problemsolving issues this Wednesday. If professionaladvice is needed, Thursday is the most productive time to seek thatadvice. You could find a teacher or guide, a new approachto your career, etc. Friday is a good day to solve problems and makeimportant decisions. This Saturday afternoon you couldbe plotting your next move to success. It is not beyond you tophilosophize at bit with friends or loved ones.

Tauras: You are touched and encouraged by the goodwill of longtime friendsthis Sunday. This is a nice day that should just flow along. This Monday you have your head down and all gears in movement. Youhave good practical problem-solving ideas that willchange some of the ways a job is performed. Humor (not sarcasticresponses) is the best defense, if you need one on Tuesday.Life is really never as complicated as we seem determined to make it--ease up. You become more confident and assertive thisWednesday. This trend accelerates throughout the end of this year. Ifyou are not working, discover what you are good at andcash in on it. Experience is a great teacher. Ideas come quickly onThursday. Your hard work and effort will be rewarded.Creative writing is an excellent outlet of expression if you becomefrustrated today. There is a lot of early action on the job thisFriday. Work through the madness. Settle down and expect a moreproductive afternoon. Relationships are rewarding onSaturday. Take advantage of an opportunity to share your feelings.Good smells that come from your kitchen.

Gemini: You tear through appearances in an effort to get beneath, behind, andat the heart or essence this Sunday. You may find theoccult, psychology, initiation and mysticism of great interest. Insummary, here is a breaking-point in life. Monday is one ofaction and embarking on new projects. You will feel more confident andoutgoing with each passing day. Pick out that perfectpumpkin for Halloween. Tuesday and Wednesday You can be very communicative, flexible, mental and other-oriented.Perhaps you can be all things to all people, giving them what theyrequire. Others will find you a smooth talker with a quick witand ready tongue. Opportunities are really beginning to open up foryou--pick and choose. Thursday, your ambition isintensified. Your practical skills are linked to your almost mysticalinner vision. Get motivated and uncover true happiness.Friday, you find yourself in a very practical mood; working with,instead of against, yourself. Expect a sense of good-will fromthose around you. At a large get-together on Saturday, you enchant anew person with your wit and kindness.

Cancer: You want to improve something this Sunday morning and you willprobably be your own most severe critic. Ease up, enjoy the opportunities that come to you today. Positive things are happeningand your career, or path depends upon your own ambitionand drive this Monday. Tuesday's aspects favor communication,flirtation, and your ability to express yourself in a unique,dynamic way. You are at your mental best with sharp ideas and clear thoughts. Opportunities appear all around you thisWednesday. You may find that your mind is busy with worry thisThursday. Yesterday was history--Tomorrow is a mystery--TODAY IS A GIFT! Use today to the best of your ability andchange those worries into positive actions. You attendgroup get-togethers and fun socials this Friday evening, with the hopeof finding someone or at lease make good conversation.You love to learn new things. In particular you appreciate good conversation and you feel that stimulating mental adventures(either alone or with others) are among the most exciting experienceslife offers this Saturday.

Leo: It won't be easy for others to fool you, but you could fall victim to self-deception this Sunday. Be patient; play the waitinggame. If professional advice is needed, this Monday is a good time toseek such help. The no-nonsense quality of your quest toachieve is good for business ventures. Tuesday is an exciting time foryou. You are enthusiastic about the activities around youand willing to do your share of the work and then some. Saying andwriting things with style counts for a lot now. Again, youare the busy little bee. . . there are requests and choices all daylong. Your career direction gets some encouragement onWednesday. You are trying to understand some new business this Thursday. You may even be thinking of ways in which youcould go into business for yourself. You can be petulant and impatientif you think you have been left out this Friday evening.Everything catches your eye while shopping this Saturday and you seemto want everything you see. Walk away for a whilewhen you begin to feel this way. Young people that have presented someproblems for you that you can solve. Relax thisevening.

Virgo: This Sunday you take on a different role--one of a teacher. Maybe thisis where you should have been all along--it fits you likea glove--teaching, that is. Young people have questions and you haveanswers. The no-nonsense feeling of this Monday makesfor wise choices when it comes to good business ventures. Obtainingand exchanging information takes on more emotionalsignificance this Tuesday evening and you could find yourself interacting with others on the news of the day. It may be best tobegin to dig in and strengthen your current position this Wednesdayrather than expand outward too much. You will find yourmind beginning to turn at rapid speed in order to problem-solve andcomplete mental tasks before the end of the day.Thursday, at work, you may have to make some adjustments--someonecould be in a criticizing mood. Your self-confidence isgood this Friday and gets better all the time. You get your prioritiestogether early. Travel, education, and other ways to stretch your horizons open new doors of opportunity this Saturday.

Libra: Cleaning, and getting rid of the things that do not serve you now iswhere your energies are this Sunday. You are preparing forsomething, although you are not sure what. . . even the dog gets ahaircut today. Ideas of group cooperation and communionwill further your career on Monday. This is a real time to concentrateon your career. Your organizational abilities and sense ofresponsibility will be what proves successful. Tuesday is asignificant day in which you can use to your best advantage. A daythat is not too stressful. Discipline and an organized mind are neededfor this Wednesday's agenda. The support you need thisThursday is there for you in the most surprising places--haveconfidence. You develop a knack for organizing things andpeople, as a sense of ambition and practicality takes hold. Don't becaught sleeping at the switch on Friday, thinking that thingswill remain the same--they will not. You are ready for the cold nightsand warm fires that reflect in the wine sitting patiently onthe table awaiting an early evening dinner. A young person may seekyou out for your guidance this Saturday. 6

Scorpio: The first thing on the agenda this Sunday is to get your house in shipshape. This afternoon is a happy time, a time that could bespent with friends. Guard against day-dreaming on the job Monday. Asyou put the finishing touches on some job you beganyesterday or a routine job keeps you busy, it would be easy to do justthat--day- dream. Tonight favors mentalinsights--meditation. Tuesday and Wednesday, have a slow start butyour attitude will bring things around to what you want toaccomplish. Be prepared--these could be very busy days. Positiveresults will depend on your actions when a complaintsurfaces. Expect a new job offer, raise or major assignment thisThursday. Your positive outlook is catching! Your intuitivepowers are strong toward making things work in your favor. Expect anew job offer, raise or major assignment this Friday. Thisafternoon you will have some time to relax and appreciate just who youare and what you are doing with your life now. Yourpositive outlook is catching! Extra expenses are happily shared onSaturday. There is an appreciation for ideas and thoughts.

Sagittarius: Harmonious ties to others are what you yearn for this Sunday;refinement and elegance are what you seek. The idealpartnership, the perfect balance, the highest standards of truth andbeauty--these are some of the things that quicken your pulsenow. Close relationships offer a lot of potential for growth and goodfortune now. A technical matter comes to your attentionthis Monday afternoon but you are able to correct whatever problemsoccurs. A colleague from your past comes back intoyour life this Tuesday. Give them a full-scale update of what ishappening. You feel refreshed and invigorated after such awonderful evening. Wednesday and Thursday are excellent times to make decisions and take care of mental work.Communicate clearly with your peers and don't leave out major details.An important message could become lost in the presentation. Change your approach to a goal you set for yourself.Don't overreact over money matters until you know the truthon Friday. A good friend makes a big impact on you this Saturday. Youencourage each other in good and in bad ways--thisneeds attention.

Capricorn: Breakthroughs regarding relationships and the social life areobtainable this Sunday. A visit to a nearby garden shop will giveyou some wonderful ideas about decorating for the fall season. Mondayis a great time, when plain old luck surrounds you. It iseasy for you to make correct decisions. Plenty of opportunities cometo your attention this Tuesday and you may have to pickand choose. A splash of decor at your front door presents anintriguing invitation and welcomes all the little neighbors to your good graces. Wednesday is an excellent day to talk business or engagein discussions about philosophy, religion or the arts.The labor of your hard work will show great rewards on Thursday.Investments are positive now, as you have put patience andforethought into your choices. You are your usual optimistic self asthis Friday begins. There may be some surprises connectedwith work now. Whatever is going on, enjoy. Most of your Saturday iseither spent in helping others make decisions or readingabout science and philosophy. You are very social and people love togain your attention.

Aquarius: This Sunday is a great day to just enjoy. This puts you in the mood tocook and you may explore some recipe for a get togetherwith friends later today. Love is definitely in the air this evening.You can actually step in to save the day this Monday morningwhen you alter some important calculations on the job. Politicalfriends can be quite favorable. Tuesday is an important time tokeep notes of your ideas and visions. One of your greatestsatisfactions comes from recognition in the work place. A loved onebecomes more relaxed and receptive to your loving touch this Wednesday evening. If weather permits, take a long walk thisevening, enjoy the stars and each other. The energies this Thursdayencourages friendships with co-workers. One co-workerfriend enjoys learning new words with you each day and then use themin sentences. Another co-worker shares baby-sittingchores with you and the two of you find that it works quite well.Everyone gets along. There is some interest in a change of jobthis Friday, but you might decide to seek council first. Vacation timecould be enjoyed this Saturday. Trick or Treat?

Pisces: You have an urge to socialize this Sunday. You make new friends duringa concert or a sports game today. This is a fun day.Quality time with your mate this Monday morning starts the day out inthe best way possible. Exceptional effort pays off withsatisfying success in a professional project this Tuesday. Either youare teaching or advising others this morning. There are somevery important matters concerning young people that could receivebenefit from your input. Money seems to slip through yourfingers on Wednesday. Stay alert during all financial transactions.Business is a bit difficult to understand on Thursday but givena bit of patience you will discover some of the answers you need.Gossip makes the rounds at work. You must clear the airquickly. A volunteer group from a near-by school is hosting aHalloween party for the juniors this Friday evening. A fun costume, first dance party. The contributions you make to a group arevery important. You may feel religious emotions in verystrong ways this Saturday. Refrain from religious discussions for now.