Movie and Video Reviews

Being John Malkovich

I had no idea what this movie was about before I saw it; I had only heard it was good. It was good, but it was also one of the weirder movies I've seen. I kept wondering who came up with this plot and what they were smoking while they were writing. But it came out well. Besides being a weird movie, it's also one of the least boring, least predictable movies I've seen in a long time. I won't ruin the suspense for you. Just watch it. (Carly)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Helen Hunt, Sarah Jessica Parker.

I can't believe I'm actually admitting that I watched this movie (at least it was free on TV). Helen Hunt is the wild girl, and Sarah Jessica Parker has military parents who won't let her do anything. She has to sneak around to enter this dance contest with a boy she doesn't even like to start with. At the end, though, her dad shows up to watch her win the contest. So I gave it all away--now you won't waste your time watching. (Carly)

Runaway Bride: Richard Gere, Julia Roberts.

I'm not a huge Richard Gere fan, but I liked this movie. The plot is fairly original: Roberts is a woman who keeps ditching men at the altar, and Gere is a reporter sent to cover her latest wedding plans. At first, she refuses to talk to him, but then she starts to warm up to him. Then they fall in love (here birds start singing and an orchestra starts playing). The question is, will she ditch him, too? This may not of great importance in the grand scheme of things, but the movie did plant enough doubt in my mind to keep me interested. (Carly)

Notting Hill: Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts.

Hugh Grant does the only thing he does well here, which is to be cute, sweet, confused, and a bit nerdy. He's a single guy who runs a travel bookstore in Notting Hill in London; Julia Roberts is a famous actress who comes into the shop. He becomes a sort of confidant for her, and then they have a tumultuous friendship/love affair (ok, I just like using "tumultuous"). The plot is completely implausible, but you probably wouldn't watch anything in the romantic comedy genre if you were looking for deep thoughts or stunning originality. I liked it. (Carly)

While You Were Sleeping: Sandra Bullock.

Bullock is a lonely single girl who saves a cute guy's life in the subway, but he's still in a coma after his accident. She pretends to be his fiancee so she can see him in the hospital, and his family practically adopts her. She doesn't know how to tell them that she doesn't even know the guy, and then she falls in love with his brother, all before he wakes up. This is nothing terribly original, but like all movies of this genre, it's cute, sweet, and plenty entertaining for your $2. (Carly)

Clueless: Alicia Silverstone, Paul Rudd.

This very cute movie had the unfortunate effect of causing people to fake a Valley Girl accent and say, "As if!" way too much. But I still like it. Supposedly based on Emma, Cher and her friend Dion are two spoiled California girls who are mostly concerned with looks. A new girl with bad fashion sense comes to their school, and she becomes their project. Cher's father's ex-wife's son, a tree-hugger, tells Cher she's silly and shallow, which she most definitely is. But, she undergoes a transformation and becomes a little less silly and much less shallow. I guess you can glean all sorts of life lessons from the story, but the fun part is the great acting and flashy sets and costuming. (Carly)

Jerry Maguire: Tom Cruise, Renee Zellweger, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Jonathan Lipnicki.

Tom Cruise is a sports agent going through a serious identity crisis; Renee Zellweger is a single mom with an absolutely adorable little boy. They fall in love, of course, but Tom screws it up the first time and has to dig himself out of a hole. But he succeeds, so you can look forward to that nice happy ending that every romantic comedy should have. Cuba Gooding, Jr. is hysterical as the hyper football player. (Carly)

American Pie

(thumbs wayyyyy down) Okay okay, so I knew what this movie was going to be like when I saw it, but I'm spending the semester in Scotland and they're a few months behind us in movies. So. Here I am, trying to broaden my horizons, be open minded and all that. Seeing as how I mainly go and see artsy/literary films with Miss Carly, this is quite a departure for me. And it was crappy. REALLY crappy. This movie is even more juvenile and crude than you would expect. which hardly seems possible. Don't waste your time or money on this one. (Ellen)

The Man with One Red Shoe: Tom Hanks.

This movie has a surprisingly original plot. Tom is a dorky musician who gets caught up in a plot by some government guys to get rid of some other government guys. He doesn't have any idea that this is happening. They pick him to use because he wears one red shoe when he goes to baseball games, and the bad guys think the shoe has great significance. Honestly, from the title, I thought there was going to be some Communist tie-in, but there's not. Very funny. (Carly)

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion: Lisa Kudrow, Mira Sorvino.

I thought this looked really funny: two high school misfits go to their high school reunion with made-up identities. This plot has so many possibilities. But the movie's just not so funny. Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino are trying, but there's not much for them to work with. The writers definitely have to take responsibility. (Carly)

Mrs. Winterbourne: Ricki Lake, Brendan Fraser.

This is a pretty dumb movie except for one part that's absolutely brilliant. Ricki Lake has been in this train accident, and Fraser and his mother mistake her for his brother's wife (who died with her husband on the train). Their family is really rich, and she decides to play along until her baby is born. She and Fraser fall in love, of course. None of this is too exciting. The good part (good enough to rent it just for this) is when their butler/cook/miscellaneous household help gets drunk and instructs Fraser to tango with Lake. It's too funny. I laugh just thinking about it. (Carly)

Something to Talk About: Julia Roberts.

I'm glad I saw this for free on TV. I kept thinking there was going to be some quirky plot twist, but it never happened. Julia Roberts is a woman with a little girl whose husband cheats on her. She makes a big scene about it in their small town, and then she leaves him. She moves back home, and her father thinks it's no big deal and keeps treating her like a child. They all work together at the family horse ranch. She has an almost-fling with one of the horse guys, but then she decides she really wants her husband back even if he is sleazy. What's that about? She should dump the sorry bugger. (Carly)

Nine Months: Hugh Grant.

I thought this would be brainless and entertaining, but it was only brainless. All Hugh Grant has to do is stand around looking adorable and confused, but unfortunately he doesn't have many funny lines to keep things moving. He's a child psychologist who's completely freaked out by his girl getting pregnant, and he leaves her over it, which is really scummy, but then at the end he decides it's OK after all. The previews made this look a lot better than it actually was. (Carly)

To Wong Foo, With Love, Julie Newmar: Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo, Wesley Snipes

Three drag queens from New York drive to Hollywood to compete in a national drag queen contest. Swayze and Snipes have won the local contest, and they take along Leguizamo as their trainee. They have a variety of adventures along the way, including having their giant boat of a car break down in a small town in the South. There, they become friends with the women and teach them to love themselves and other happy things. Of course, some people aren't so crazy about drag queens, so theyhave to overcome that. But they finally get to Hollywood. All the characters are good, and the movie's pretty funny, but I think the best part is seeing Patrick Swayze in a dress. (Carly)

Cookie's Fortune: Liv Tyler, Julianne Moore, Chris O'Donnell, Glenn Close

Glenn Close and Julianne Moore's mother, Cookie, commits suicide. They all live in a really small town, so Glenn Close tries to make it look like a murder to save herself the embarrassment of a suicide in the family. In doing so, she implicates her mother's closest friend. Julianne Moore is totally witless and under the control of her sister. Her daughter, Liv Tyler, works to free her grandmother's friend. She also has a fling with Chris O'Donnell, the newest member of the town law enforcement, even though she's not always on the right side of the law. Glenn Close and Julianne Moore are fantastic and amazingly believable for being such outlandish characters. I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that the movie did not assume that the good 'ol boys in a small Southern town would be against a black man accused of murdering a white woman; instead, they do all they can to establish his innocence. Even when the police chief is forced to arrest him, he doesn't believe the charges, because they've been fishing together. Anyway, the movie is really funny. (Carly)

Joe's Apartment

Lena and I rented this movie to try to give Christina the creeps, because she really hates roaches. Joe is a guy in New York who is trying to keep his apartment away from some poorly-defined bad guys. His apartment, though, is about the grossest thing you can imagine, which is where the roaches come in. They want Joe to stay because he's really messy, so they work out a sort of mutual protection agreement with him. He doesn't clean up; they scare away the bad guys. There's also some stuff about Joe liking this girl whose dad is a city official involved in some anti-environmental stuff, but really, the movie is about singing and dancing roaches. When you've got that, why even bother with a plot? (Carly)

The Full Monty: Tom Wilkinson.

Six out-of-work Brits decide to do a strip show to get money, as standing in line at the Job Centre is getting them nowhere. The ringleader, Gaz, needs the money for child support, or he won't see his son again. He and his son, who is probably about 11, have almost a reversal of the father-son roles. Wilkinson plays Gerald, the others' former boss, who is pulled into their scheme against his will,because he's the only one who knows how to dance. The others are a man who's insecure about his weight, a really skinny guy, and older man nicknamed "Horse," and one good-looking one who might be gay. All the crazy stuff they do to get ready is hysterically funny, but the humor is interspersed with parts that deal with these men's relationships with each other and their families, and how unemployment has affected them. It never gets too serious, though. The soundtrack's great as well--namely, "You Sexy Thing," and "Hot Stuff." (Carly)

Tea with Mussolini: Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Cher

This is probably the best movie I've seen all year. First of all, it has some of the great Room with a View cast reunited in Italy: Judi Dench and Maggie Smith. Both play roles similar to Eleanor Lavish and Charlotte Bartlett--an eccentric artist-hopeful and a snobby, uptight spinster. They, along with a number of other older English women, are expatriates in Italy shortly before the outbreak of World War II. They don't want to leave, so they're finally taken by the Italian government to an old building in San Gimignano. Maggie Smith's character is the widow of a diplomat, and she arranges to see Mussolini before war is declared, and he assures her that she will be taken care of. Cher is a wealthy American who is considered coarse and vulgar by the English women. One of the women has basically adopted the illegitimate son of an Italian man for whom she was a secretary. He has to deal with the problems of having English connections and an essentially English upbringing while being an Italian by birth, in an Italy going to war with England. For all the seriousness of the situation, the movie is very funny. The women are just plain obstinate, and they have no intention of giving in to the Italians. If nothing else, see this movie for the good-looking Italian men--all of them except Mussolini, who is short, fat, and bald. (Carly)

Tarzan: The Legend of Greystoke, Lord of the Apes: Andie MacDowell and some guy.

Beware the mechanical monkeys!!!!!! I remembered seeing this movie when I was like eight and loving it, but like so many childhood favorites(especially peanut butter and salami sandwiches) it just wasn't as good. The worst part is the long sequence of Tarzan growing up, which is basically a naked little boy playing with, you guessed it, mechanical apes. The acting is pretty unimpressive too. Ugh, give me Johnny Weissmuller any day. (Ellen)
I have to agree with Ellen on this one. We watched it on the same night as Grand Isle. We couldn't go to Blockbuster for weeks. We had to undergo intensive Room with a View therapy before we could watch any other movies. (Carly)

Addicted to Love: Meg Ryan, Matthew Broderick.

Hey, Matthew Broderick doesn't look twelve! He plays an astronomer whose girlfriend leaves him for a dirty-minded Frenchman. He moves to New York City to find her, and he takes up residence in an abandoned building across from their apartment. He uses his scientific methods to try to figure out when she'll leave the Frenchman. He meets Ryan, who's been dumped by the French guy. She moves into the building with him, and they plot, Ryan to get revenge on her ex and Broderick to try to get his back. At first they just tolerate each other, but then... (Carly)

The Birdcage: Robin Williams, and that other guy.

This is basically a bad remake of La Cage Aux Folles. Watch that instead. This one's not in French, it's not especially funny, and the acting's not very good. (Carly)

Brassed Off: Tara Fitzgerald, Ewan MacGregor, Pete Postlethwaite.

A bittersweet movie about a brass band at a mine that's fixing to be shut down by the British government. The band members fight to keep their jobs and the band, and to win the colliery band competition for their aging director. It looks as if the band will be helped out by the daughter of a former band member (although the rest of the band is entirely male), but then they find out she's with the government. She still wants to help, though. The romantic involvement is between Mac Gregor and Fitzgerald, of course. The band members struggle with various problems relating to their impending unemployment. While it deals with some serious issues, the movie is funny in most parts. The music is great. (Carly)

Antz: Karl Marx, meet animated ants.

I was completely surprised by the fact that this movie actually had a somewhat controversial political message. It's animated, after all. The good thing is that the filmmakers don't beat you over the head with their message; it's just part of the plot. A worker ant is unhappy with his situation; the ruling class is oppressive; the princess feels oppressed herself by her forced role in the colony. The unhappy worker ant falls in love with her. They wind up in an ant's paradise outside the colony, but return to help save it from the machinations of an evil soldier ant. (Carly)

Glory Daze: Ben Affleck.

Whoa! Ben Affleck with bad hair. If you're planning on watching this because you think he's cute, just watch Good Will Hunting again. The plot's pretty dumb. He's graduating with an art degree, but his art's really bad, and all he wants to do is hang around with his friends and keep having parties with lots of alcohol instead of getting a job. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen or anything. It was just a waste of time. (Carly)

You've Got Mail: Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks.

How can you not like this movie? It's funny and sweet. Ryan runs a tiny children's bookstore, and Hanks runs Fox Books, a big chain store. Of course, Ryan hates him for hurting her business. But, they meet each other anonymously in a chat room and build a relationship through e-mail. And you know the ending's happy. If you liked Sleepless in Seattle or Addicted to Love or anything like that, you'll like this one as well. (Carly)

Shakespeare in Love: Joseph Fiennes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Simon Callow, Colin Firth, Judi Dench, Ben Affleck, Tom Wilkinson, Geoffrey Rush (1998 Oscar for Best Picture).

It's like a big British movie actor reunion, plus Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck. Simon Callow was Mr. Beebe in A Room with a View, and Judi Dench was Eleanor Lavish in the same. Tom Wilkinson was the older guy in The Full Monty and the photographer in The Governess. Geoffrey Rush was in Elizabeth and Twelfth Night. All we need now is Helena Bonham Carter. Anyway, this is a great movie. I don't really think of it as an Oscar-movie; it seems to fall in better with Meg Ryan-Tom Hanks comedies. There's no deeper social message or moving performance that will make it any more lasting than Pillow Talk or something. But in the romantic comedy category, it's definitely a top film. Joseph Fiennes, as a young Shakespeare, is having an affair with Gwyneth Paltrow, who is engaged to Colin Firth. He has trouble with writer's block, Gwyneth desperately wants to act (even though women aren't supposed to), and Judi Dench makes an appearance as Queen Elizabeth to straighten some things out. Very charming. (Carly)

The Cowboy Way: Woody Harrelson.

This is the movie that made me swear off anything with Woody Harrelson. Any sort of bad, stereotypical assumptions you might make from tht title are probably true. He winds up doing some sort of modeling, so you see him in his underwear. Another highlight is his tongue dance (not as raunchy as it sounds) with an empty longneck. That image is unfortunately etched in my memory. (Carly)

Hot Shots and Hot Shots Part Deux: Charlie Sheen.

Silliness and more silliness. Both of these are full of ridiculously bawdy sexual innuendoes, impossible situations, and lots of poking fun at Top Gun. If you like Airplane! or the Naked Gun movies, you'll like these. I've seen both several times, and they're still funny. (Carly)

Robin Hood: Men in Tights: Cary Elwes.

Just like the Robin Hood story, only silly. If you want to see the Prince of Thieves version, watch it before you see this. I tried this one first, and then I couldn't take the other seriously. This one has singing Merry Men, rapping Merry Men, Mel Brooks, cheesy double entendres, Maid Marian locked into a chastity belt, and of course, the lovely Cary Elwes. It's smashingly funny the first time around, but the jokes really don't work so well on repeat viewing. (Carly)

Patch Adams: Robin Williams.

Get a shovel. This is one of those movies about trying to overturn the status quo and helping people and finding love and finding yourself and can you think of anything else that reminds you of Peter, Paul, and Mary? If so, it's probably in here. Robin Williams is great at being funny, so when he's doing that, the movie's good, but when he's trying to be serious and touching, you just want to gag. There's this one scene in particular when he's thinking about committing suicide, and then this butterfly lands on him, and he changes his mind. Come ON. The other bad thing is that he winds up with this girl who's a good twenty years younger than he is, which is really gross. (Carly)

There's Something About Mary: Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz.

There's only one thing wrong with this movie, but if I tell you it will ruin the ending, so you'll just have to see for yourself. Guys probably won't see anything wrong with it, but let me tell you, I don't know any girls who'd pick the guy Mary does at the end. One thing I liked about this movie is that Cameron Diaz plays a smart woman, one who's not a bitchy tramp or a badly-dressed nerd. Unfortunately for her, she also attracts stalkers. There are some gross parts in this movie, but one the whole it's funny and entertaining. (Carly)

Thelma and Louise: Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis, Brad Pitt.

This is a movie every girl should see at least once. It won't make you hate men or anything, but it may make you growl at them for a week or so. Guys should probably watch this as a warning about what might happen if they ever treat a woman badly. It's about a woman who's abused by her loser husband, and she goes off with her friend for a weekend away. They get into trouble when they stop at a bar on the way, and a man tries to rape the first woman, so the second one shoots him. Then they're on the lam. You'll love the nice policeman and the second woman's boyfriend and even Brad Pitt, though he's a cad, but all the rest of the men in the movie are unfeeling scum. Not a good movie to watch with your significant other. (Carly)

Four Weddings and a Funeral: Hugh Grant, Kristin Scott Thomas, Andie MacDowell, and the guy who's Mr. Beebe in A Room with a View.

I love this movie, despite the fact that Andie MacDowell comes awfully close to ruining it with her terrible, flat acting. She makes Hugh Grant's acting skills (which are, admittedly, limited) look like, well, Daniel Day-Lewis's or something. But everything else is beautifully done. The Matthew-Gareth relationship is really touching, unlike most of the movies I've seen with homosexual relationships. One of my favorite parts is Matthew reciting Auden's "Stop All the Clocks" poem at Gareth's funeral. Kristin Scott Thomas is ever so unflappable and British, and Hugh Grant is all batting eyelashes and sweet confusion--exactly what he's best at. Another cool thing is that his brother in the movie is deaf, which for some reason makes him awfully attractive. He makes you want to learn sign language just in case you meet a really cute deaf guy. (Carly)

The Van:

This is an odd little British movie about two guys who run a greasy spoon on wheels (think that egg roll cart on the South Mall crossed with fish and chips). It has Colm Meany, or whatever his name is, the guy I'm beginning to forgive for being on Star Trek because sometimes he's an awesome actor. There are some funny scenes of crowds of Brits in a pub getting drunk while watching soccer (or should I say football?). Anyway, this is an enjoyable evening's entertainment. Just don't expect too much. (Carly)

Waking Ned Devine:

This is the funniest movie I've seen since Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I almost fell out of my seat laughing in the theater. It's all about the two mischievous old men who want to get the money from the winning lottery ticket they found with their friend, who died upon finding out he'd won. They have to enlist the help of their fellow villagers in outwitting the government authorities who come to authenticate the ticket, and they have to deal with one really ornery old woman. I won't tell you the funny scenes because that would ruin it, so go see for yourself. (Carly)

Mars Attacks!:

This is what happens when my dad and I try to find a mutually agreeable movie. What makes me mad about this one is that it could have been so good. It could have been Men in Black. But it's not. It's boring, it's weird, and the only part that fulfills its campiness potential is at the end when the Martians' heads are exploding into globs of green stuff inside their astronaut bubble hats. This movie needs to realize that it doesn't have any deeper social message to redeem its lack of entertainment value, so it better get busy being silly. (Carly)

Party Girl: Parker Posey

Not so good. We have no sympathy for the main character. She was whiny and she needed to grow up. My favorite part was when the Lebanese guy was teaching her Arabic because I could understand part of it. I'm not going to bother with the plot.(Carly)

Ever After: Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston.

This is a kick-ass version of Cinderella. The plot's pretty much the same, except that in this one, she's not completely helpless and big-eyed. It's awesome. I've never been a Drew Barrymore fan, but she redeems herself in this one. If I tell you the good parts it'll ruin it for you.(Carly)

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