THE FORMATION OF
...aSoKaMolle...

First of all I would like to thank to Golden Tamil to find my soul mate.

When I was “born” to this world where it started God’s examination on me. But I think it was too initial stage to face it. My parent left me to somebody else after 3 days then was brought up in a very tough and problematical way. But some or rather I know god loves me and that love makes me stronger to face my life. Ya I have gone through half of it in a very successful way. But something still lacking, which I’m longing for it since in mum’s womb. So I thought it gonna be forever ………!!!!!!!

But again god showers his love to me but at this time he make a choice to select you to show his love to me.  Ya,  coz now my life have changed…………. Yap!!!!!! I’m in new world of “aSoKamolle” which is full of happiness, laughter, joy, care ness.

When my heart was locked, loneliness, pressured, tensed up…………… I just try to access to cyber chatting world through Golden Tamil. That’s the landmark for aSoKaMolle to exist!!!!!!!

I get to know him while I was in chatting room. First we chat in public then changed to private chatting. There we exchange our identities, interests and about past. And that time he thought I was just kidding around with him. But to me whatever I said is just coming from my true heart.  Then we start to chat more frequently and switched to msn messenger. Then from there I came to know that we are sharing the same date of birth but indifferent in months. We start to chat almost everyday and he gave his number and told me can give him a call anytime but after 6pm.

Then one fine day I brave myself to call him. I called him around 6.00 and when the first time I heard his voice I just hang up the phone. My heart was beating fasttttttttt. Again go for a second time called him again and said hello and introduce myself. Then he starts to call me honey, which I totally resist and ask him to call by my name. The conversation just last for few minutes.

For the first time I send a picture, which was, took with my friend and ask him to spot me but disappointment drags in. Yap! He spotted the wrong person. I got pist off and this time I send my model pictures. Then he had a clear picture of me and he too send his but was taken three years ago. Then he commented that I look beautiful and yet had doubted whether it was me!!!!!!!!!!

Everyday our relationship is getting closer and deeper. And I start to realize that my inner heart start to reveal which is something bizarre happening to me. Yap, I realise that I’m falling for him but again something still pulls me in and I control myself.

While chatting one day, we decide how to address ourselves without calling our names. So he start to call me “molle” (term for a girl in his mother tongue) and I start to call him “kanne “(beloved) or sometimes as “asoka”. Then when I was to register for new yahoo mail for the first time I merge his name with his identity on me which is asokamolle@yahoo.com without getting acknowledgment from him. Then I inform him about this. I don’t know how he takes it but for me aSoKamolle start to give a legend to me.

We start to call and sms each other. I feel strange without hearing his voice, so everyday at least once I called him.  We decide to meet to prove our relationship just doesn’t droop till cyber love but wants more than that. So every time I wanna meet him I had a lot of obstacles to face through. Still we didn’t give up and make ourselves stronger.

Then on the third week of February I inform him definitely I am coming down to see him no matter what happen.  Then the whole week I couldn’t sleep and hardly concentrate on anything properly. When the day comes nearer we start to argue more and we realize that we are missing each other. Then on 21st I can’t sleep at all and just waiting to see the sun to rise the next morning. I woke up early and did my daily routines and pack everything. Then before leave the house I still have doubtness on me, “is it really me who going to see him”. Went to temple to get blessing from my amma and I feel assured that I’m going to meet my man.

I straight went to office for a while and chat with him and both of us were excited and the same time feel very nervous.  But he still has suspicion on me whether I’m coming down.

I took bus at 12.00 pm sharp and before the bus shoot off I called him and confirmed him that I’m in the bus. Finally he trust me that I’m coming down and ask me to alert him every an hour. It was really a mind disturbed journey coz first time to JB on my own. Then I reached Larkin station at 4.10pm. It was drizzling at that time and I was just telling to myself that god is blessing our first meet.

It starts to rain cats and dogs. I called him to say that I’m waiting for him at Marrybrown and at the same time I told him come once the rain stops. While waiting for him, thousand and one thing was crossed on my mind and my heart beating fast non-stop.

Then!!!!!!!!! At 5.15 he came, his eyes start to mingle around looking for me. Then he spotted me and at the same time my eyes spotted him too. He nods his head and I smile at him. Then he knows that was me. He came near me and start to stare at me. Then we move on but he keep observe me and the first touch was he called me, put his arms around my shoulder and whispered that his underwear is wet. That was classic. I smiled again to him. He claimed my smile was so attractive . Thank you kanne!

Then we shoot off to hotel by bike. In the room for the first time a man kissed me and I feel like my heart beat stops a while. We chat for a while and I had my shower came out with my towel wraps my body. He starts to hug me from the back. And we suppose to go to temple but before that something happen which I made meaningful decision in my life. Yap, he put aiya’s kungumam on my forehead and I promise myself that he is going to be my man no matter what happen and I’m the replacement for the past and no more replacement after me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also realize that although a lot guys was discarded to win my heart but my asoka made it to win through! That was great. Umahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! For u kanne!!!

We start to get closer and visit to the temple was cancelled. So I change my outfit and we went for a dinner. Then he took me where he use to play pool and ask me join him. I feel awkward when he invite me for the game coz I know nuts about the game. So he played alone. I start to observe and admire every single thing he does which really impress me and deeply stored in my mind. Then we went to a port side where u can see Singapore nightlife. We chat for a while and he keep telling me his past stories and I keep listening to him. We spent half an hour there.

Then went back to hotel. Had shower. Again he hugs me from the back. That was lovely. Then we start to put our face near to one another and look at the mirror. You know how wonderful was that!!!!!!!!!! The god really makes the best selection!!!!! Then he had shower while I change into my green spaghetti strap nightie and waiting for him to be with me. He came out and gives me one kinda of glance. I look at him again with shyness. He start to hug and our first deepness kiss took place until both of our tongues runs around. It was so deeply felt. Then he put some ointment on my back and starts to massage me and doesn’t last long coz he starts to kiss all over. I too can’t control myself but I force myself to control it.

He started to go haywire on me. I knew he wants it!!!!!!!!! But I never give in and but say “no” in a nicer way to him. He understands that. My love for him starts to get tremendously stronger. I slept on his chest and for me it feels like I’m sleeping on Aladdin carpet floating me away!!!. And we never sleep even an hour properly and I know he observe me while I close my eyes and never stop to umah me.

You know something, the theme or better to say a miracle word for our love is “umah me”. This even started before we met but we really felt it when we met and the magic word make wonders to us. Yap really! When we mad on each other, when we get excited, when we happy when we need both of us more, then the magical word apply in.

 Ok back to the memories now: Then the next day we got up had shower and again he hugs me as usual. I wore my black Punjabi suit coz we are going to temple. I saw he adores me with that suit. We went to temple and I did the prayers for navagraham and he observe me everything I did. After the prayers we went for a breakfast then he drop me at the hotel and he went back for a while to take his shoes. Meanwhile waiting for him I change my dress and get packed to leave to Singapore. He came in and noticed that I left the key at the door and my room is not locked. Then he give one kinda of look and but I just blushed to him and said oops! Sorry. Again we kissed each other, recheck again all our things. At this time something which really upsets me that is, he receive a call from one of his girlfriend and he spoke to her but the thing is I can’t digest the call. Feel really annoyed coz I can’t even imagine share him with anybody else. But I can’t show my face to him coz at that time I am not very sure I whether I own him fully!!!!!!

Then check out from the JB hotel at 12.00 pm and shoot off to Singapore by bike. But before that I ask him to take me to moneychanger so that I can convert my money to sing dollar. We did that, then march at the JB Kastam then step into Singapore land for the first time in my life. Singapore looks wonderful, people there are more advanced than in Malaysia, English speaking people, signboards in English and everything looks puzzled .  But the whether was killing at that time, damn hot but still feel excited because I’m with him hugging him from the back. Then we reach the hotel he booked for us. It was exactly at the middle of Little India. Very crowded place but still can adjust to the mode. Check in had shower and again he we started to hug and kiss… You know something I really like the way you  treat me coz I notice that not even second you leave me alone. That was great. Umah for u kanne! I start to forget my loneliness which ghosting me for donkey years!!!

He start to caress me, romance me, Oh gosh!!! I really must admit that he is such a romantic guy. Each touch of him really means something to me. And few times he told to give him some time for him to change and to come back fully to me. I just nod my head. You know something both of us felt like we know each other for long time. Never feel shyness but  feel more comfortable with each other and I dunnow why for me I start to treat him as my hubby. I know he realize that too and keep telling me that he feels very comfortable with me.

Then around 4pm we change our clothes and I was wearing 3-quarter pants and a dark blue t-shrit. He combs my hair and asked me to let go my hair. That was touched. We left the room and again unmemorable kiss took place in the hotel lift. It was really impressed. We went out and had light lunch, and then he took me to one of the cash and carry outlet. I bought the Singapore landmark (the sea lion) for both of us. While back to the hotel, in the lift we bump into a Chinese old lady and she was asking him in chinese who am I and kinda of questions. So when I asked him what she said, he told me that I look beautiful and we are perfect match. Ya whatever! I have to believe him rite coz only god knows what the conversation was about. Then we went back to the hotel, rest again then we went out again.

 We walk to the MRT station which was quite a long distance from the hotel but I didn’t feel the pain coz everything looks calm and comfort whenever I’m with you although you keep on asking me whether I can walk or not. We hold hands even hug some of the times while walking.

The place was packed with Indian citizens, and while we was walking the people’s eyes was popping out observing us. Dunnow why!!!!!!! And I no need to know the reason though!!!! But he claims that I look beautiful that’s why these humans are giving me one kinda of look. Whatever I don’t give a damn about others.

For me walking with u, was just pleasant and I think I can even walk with u to the Great Wall of China. Are u willing too kanne!!!!!!!!!!!! For me it is possible… Then we reach MRT station, paid for the ticket and took the MRT. Even in MRT I couldn’t believe myself kissing him. This shows when you was with me I am getting more bold and confidence towards our love.  I lean on him and he hugs me from the back. That was amazing!!!.  We reach Raffles, we went to Macdonald first and had our dinner there. Even there you impressed me by eating my unfinished burger. Ehmmmmmm!!!! Then he took me around and the most impressive thing you did was when you carry me and let me sit on the pillar. Umahhhhhhhh for u kanne!!!!!!!!!!!  Then the way your facial expression when telling about the mesin basuh story. A real classic joke but we are applying the term now. Only both of  us know what mesin basuh is rite ma!!!
 

At that time the whether was so wonderful, the wind blows just meant like the God blowing his deep breath to make us feel so comfortable. But it doesn’t last long because it starts to rain and we have no choice but to go back. Again the same things took place, and once get down from MRT we walk back to the hotel again. Again the devil eyes start to hunt us but who cares. I notice you start to sweat and I just can’t control my hands which straight lay to your face to wipe the sweat out. You stop at one of the shop and bought two can of beers.

While lying down on that night I start to feel sadness start to hunting me and  I start to query the god. Why are you doing this to me?? Choose the right man, identify him to me, make me met with him, spend very limited time and now you want to grasp him from me very fast. Why ha??? Not enough ha I have suffered my entire life. But I know he have is own reason doing this to me and for sure he won’t disappoint me.  Then I cannot sleep after that and start to observe your cute face which going to remain in my mind forever. You know something kanne, You really look handsome and you can attract any girl if you want, But why ha, you choose me among all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But still I try to keep my eyes shut just pretending that I am taking a nap but can’t…. so I just took my Walkman and listen to music that soothe at that moment and it works. And some or rather the time past so sudden and for me it seems the sun was so impatient to rise on that day. I start to realise that only few hours left for my happiness to last. You can imagine how miserable my heart was!!!!!!!!! But again strength in me rules to be more challenging to tackle it. I wake him up with my passionate kiss and at that time he looks so cute and I don’t have the heart to wake him up but no alternative. Then he still pulls me in and surrounded by his arms and again I fall on my Aladdin carpet. Then both of us listen to Walkman. Had shower, again romance took place and I told myself I’m gonna miss all this extremely. I did something which he claimed touched him very much which was I button his t-shirt. We went for a breakfast to the food outlet inside the hotel itself. There I still remember he smiles at me and that really melt my heart. Then we went back to the room pack our things with a very heavy heart to leave the place. Then we left the place and again the weather was really killing. He put my hands into his shirt so that my hands don’t get burn but the fact I get sunburn or not still I’m considered dark. Along the way he told me that he lost the way but manage to get out of it and we reach JB then straight to Larkin station. OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh that was heartbreaking!!!!. For me like everything happens so fast. That three days past as 3 minutes for me. Very hard to resist. Then we went to Marrybrown and had light meal. He bought the ticket for me and the journey is at 2.30pm. While was waiting for the bus, a sadden incident took place again. Yap, he receive a call from one of is girlfriend and again my heart refuse to absorb it. Then after that I don’t feel like talking to him and just pretend nobody around me.

Then the bus arrived, he assist me to the bus and give a goodbye kiss, which was really painful. Then he got down and wait until the bus shoot off. While waiting I can see something exchanged (our hearts) and something missing from us. Tell you frankly very hard to control my feeling at that moment, kanne. I told him to reduce smoking and wave to him and told myself I will come back again and again to meet you!!!!!!!!!!!!!