Write Stuff - Issue 1

Contents

STINKING SOC(S)

FRESHERS WELCOME'2000

GULLI-DANDA, KANCHE,  PITHOO.....

IN BITS AND PIECES

FOR YOUR INFORMATION

VOX POPULI

ELS RECOMMENDS

 

 

 

 

STINKING SOC(S)

 

The HPS

7TH SEPTEMBER..SRCC AUDITORIUM - MUKUNDAN.D (Presidential candidate)

 "..............its been rumoured that some people were not allowed on the HPS trip last year"

3RD OCTOBER..…..HPS TRIP REGN DESK- MUKUNDAN.D (society president)

To Repudaman Chabra - "...sorry, there’s no room for you on the trip"

(Not to mention Repudaman was Mukundan's opponent in the elections)

The FARTS

The FARTS a.k.a SRMGH society's presi has applied for additional security (as if the walled fortress weren't enough) following a successful bomb attack on her person. All tenders for security arrangements are invited.

The COMSOC

The shameless plagiarism of last years topics for this years GD did not deter the hostellers or the volunteers (who stayed back solely for the refreshments they were promised) from crowding the seminar room. By the way, it doesn't take many people to crowd our seminar room.

The HSS

Knock...Knock.......HSS are you there??

Don't worry guys.....inka number bhi aayega!!

The ECOSOC

Have you lately seen the Eco Soc presi and his chief coordinator walking around college dressed in immaculate shirts and forcing people to buy coupons for Career Launchers 'Mock Cat '? See what paucity of funds does to you.

 

As self praise is no praise, the ELS finds no mention in this article.

 

 

                                                        -Arijit Bose & Nakul Gupta

 

FRESHERS WELCOME'2000

 

 From somebody who's been through it all.

 

       "To be or not to be" is surrogated by "Should I or should I not go for it "

when the ELS commences its distribution of forms for the much awaited Mr. & Ms FRESHER contest, especially when the first question on the preposterous form is as sarcastic as "What in this world makes you think that you stand even the remotest chance of being crowned Mr./Ms Fresher?"

 

      Is this contest worth the efforts put in to rattle one's brains to answer the form with the wittiest of answers, brace up ones countenance, figure and attire for the occasion, and most of all to face the "most cultured and disciplined" audience, when one is standing stark obvious on the stage while the theatre lights are driving one's eyes nearly blind?

Well this contest is certainly the ultimate arena for those who are blessed with such sensitive hearing faculties as they can glean up some words of meaning from those incoherent questions of the event anchor. It’s the most apt place for showing their talents for those market buffs who can convincingly create a popular demand for themselves on stage. It’s a ring of action for those whose guts allow them to accept the most offending comment from the audience and the preposterous projector, as gracefully as they were being presented with a bouquet of fresh tulips. This contest is worth all the pains for those who’s mental faculties can assist them in contorting the whackiest of uses for the most domestic props such as a broom, a bucket, a mirror, a pillow or a ball.

       The event is the greatest opportunity for those orators who have the heart to step into the shoes of Pamela Anderson or Godzilla and rebut on "Size does matter".

Efforts go hand in hand with the rewards. The rewards are a score of internet hours, people standing in long queues muttering when they see you "Hey make way for Mr./Ms fresher", cute guys and girls coming to congratulate you and nonetheless a volley of demands for treat in the canteen from all the sundry.

       To say the last, If you have it in you, go for it! And leave alone Hamlet contemplating "to be or not to be"

 

PS: For further details, contact Bahniman Hazarika, Aditi Bharara, Kuruvilla Alexander, Richa Kumar and Abhishek S Ram. They were partners to plight.

                                                                                                            Prerna Jain     

                                                                   2nd runners up (ed’s note- to err is human)

 

 

 

 

GULLI-DANDA, KANCHE,  PITHOO.....

 

Time and again we here at SRCC have proved to the world that we are a force to be reckoned with on the playgrounds too .Of course I'm talking about the boys teams only (I’d be putting my foot in my mouth if I were so committal about the girls teams). Anyway, without wasting anymore space on this magazine let me encapsulate for you what our college has been up to on the sports scene.

The SR cricket team, according to reliable sources, was in a state of delirium after an uncharacteristic win over Desbandhu College. But their happiness was short-lived as Hansraj put them to shame in the prequarters (every day is not a Sunday guys!!). They were somewhat done retributive justice when our TT team trounced Hansraj 3-0, thus recording the first ever whitewash in DU TT history.

Our BB team has had mixed fortunes this year. After the fiasco at the St.Stephens invitational, our team redeemed itself by coming second both in the YMCA invitational and the University championship. Our hockey team bombed this year at the inter-college with an exit in just the second round.

Aditya Parasher……yup, the very same guy you see monkeying around in college has been adjudged the 'Best gymnast' in the University. It is however rumoured that there were only five people in contention for the award. And our Handball team miraculously (They won one match in the four they played) finished fourth in the inter-college tournament.

With the Football and Badminton tournaments yet to take place, we hope to kick some more .......backside.

                                                           Go SRCC!!!  

              -Varun Dalal and Saket Ganeriwalla        

 

In BITS and pieces

 

With the qualities of, but not looking much like Jim Morison’s 20th century fox, I arrived fashionably late for Oasis from my extended autumn vacation in Bombay. Having vowed to grace Oasis with my presence this year, I had convinced myself that any (further) classes I missed would be in the line of duty representing the college, and taking the contingent to Pilani. As I had incorporated the will, I set out to discover the way. After much persuasion, I managed to round up Saket, Dalal and Bose to catch the last bus to Pilani. Armed with warm jackets and some of us with fake IDs, we made our way to Bhagirathi, our allotted hostel, just opposite ANCS(All night canteen  a.k.a A Nightly Candid Snack).

With the aid of Bose's frequent last-year-in-Pilani tales, we survived on a daily dose of Dosas and chofo(chocolate & coffee) shakes. Our cash stash was somewhat depleted by the 500 chip registration fee which we consequently decided to make full utilisation of, by participating in every event we were awake for.

The highlight of the trip, apart from losing Saket's camera, breaking into the guest house, making counterfeit milkshake coupons and 'borrowing' an absentee BITSian's bicycle for travelling from the Informalz Desk to our accommodation centre, was Mr. and Ms. Oasis. Christened MAMO, it's the crowning event (pun intended) of Oasis. As it turned out, both Bose and me ended up being crowned!!!

With a host of memories, fed-up of Tambi BITSians counting the mattresses in our room, up to our ears in milkshakes and Dosas, we returned, dreary and weary-eyed to the starless skies and polluted streets of Delhi, which beats Pilani hollow when it comes to cooking up dust-storms.  

 

- Siddhartha Butalia.

 

 

FOR YOUR INFORMATION

 

.....They are green,stand proud on strong  masts,holding within themselves an assortment of stuff that was given due recognition as trash,litter,rubbish........or what you will.

Stuff which now knows its place;now has its identity as ' garbage'.

Presenting to you for the first time in SRCC- DUSTBINS !

Banish any thoughts contemplating the relevance of this column by letting us remind you of the importance of dustbins.

For,besides serving the basic purpose of disposal of refuse,it has (at least in SRCC) formed the part of the speeches and promises of many an election candidiate.

Who said they had lied? It was on the list of things to be done;it was on the agenda.The day did dawn when,at last ,this agenda became the ' green monument '.

Having installed the much needed dustbins was an appreciable job.I hope that the concerned authorities also ensure, now ,as well as in the future,that the  garbage that goes in also goes out.Only if the facility for its regular cleaning is kept up will it be "worth you information".

                                                                                    Jasmeet Minhas

 

 

 

DUTA strike - A day off or a day lost

 

"It's okay if it's  just a day or two, but an indefinite strike could mean serious loss of classes. A day off is fun, but I wouldn't opt for weeks off."

- Prerna Malhotra, B.Com(H) II-B

 

"A day off 'cuz I can meet my girlfriend"

                                                                                            - Gauravjit, Eco(H) II-B

 

"A day off cuz then I can sleep, watch TV, go out with my friends and 'drink'"

                                                                       - Prithvi, B.Com(H) I

 

"DUTA strike would be a 'day off' from classes and a 'day on' for Dram.Soc practice"

                                                                                            - Neha Gondal, Eco(H) IIA

 

"I'd think of DUTA strike as a day off 'cuz it's better to study at home than in college. Anyways, enough of girls" (???!!!???)

- Nitish Arora, B.Com(H) II-D

 

"It's a day lost because anyway we are not able to finish our course and if we have an indefinite strike, we'll end up as nothing"

- Ankur Kathuria, B.Com (H) II-(ed's note-Which college do u belong to?)

 

"College life is all about friends. It's definitely a day lost 'cuz I can't meet my friends"

                                                                                        - Mohit Verma, Eco(H) II-B

 

 

 

 

Vox populi

 

A few weeks back, the college fees had been hiked (only for this year) by Rs.500 on account of the Platinum Jubilee celebrations later this year and by Rs.150 (permanent increase with effect from the next academic year) on account of payment for the use of the sport facilities. 125 students were asked whether they favoured this hike and the following was the result of our poll.

Results

Agreed - 56%

Disagreed - 36%

Don't know/Can't Say - 8%

 

Note : The student poll was based on random selection(whoever our poller managed to catch at dayschi point). It does not necessarily represent the view of the college students in general.

 

 

 

ELS RECOMMENDS

 

The Dice Man - Luke Rhinehart

 

This is a classic subversive book from the early 70s, banned in several countries. Luke Rhinehart is a bored psychoanalyst trying to finish a book on sado-masochism, in a marriage which like most after 15 years is losing it’s spark. To bring about some change in his mundane lifestyle, he attempts to follow the Zen way of living and ‘moving with the flow’. After a drunken poker game with his friends he decides on a whim to follow the commands he assigns to each of it’s faces, and rolls the die. “If the dice has a 'one' face up, I thought, I'm going downstairs to rape Arlene.”

From then on, the dice rule his life. From insignificant decisions like whether he should go for a coffee break to devastating decisions like the directions he should give his patients. Rhinehart opens up a whole new perspective from which to view life, leaving everything up to the chance of the roll of a die!!!

- Siddhartha Butalia.

 

Notes From A Big Country - Bill Bryson

 

        Cynically British and extremely laughable would be best to describe "Notes from a big country" by Bill Bryson. This book is in form of 78 chapters that are basically Bill Bryson's columns in a newspaper regarding America. Bryson, an American, takes a dig at virtually every aspect of the “new” American society, be it their complicated tax form, couch potatoes or their meaningless TV commercials, when he returns home after 30 odd years in Britain. Although full of wisecracks, this book is a unique insight into the American way of life. 

 

www.deathlock.com

 

This site simply tells you when you will DIE (not too exciting a prognosis, eh!). Rather unnerving at first, but as you read  on about how they arrive on the date on which you will ........well, pop off, you suddenly realise that your palms stop sweating and your face regains its colour. However a visit to this site does have an eerie spectre of your impending death lingering at the back of your mind.

 

www.hsx.com

 

Wanna be a virtual millionaire? Visit Hollywood Stock Exchange, a site where you invest your virtual wealth in Hollywood Dollars(2 million Hollywood Dollars) in movies, stars, and music artists. Founded by Max Keiser and Michael Burns this site will give you a chance to hone your stock marketing skills without feeling the pinch of the purse. There is also a Bollywood version of the same - bwsx.com