Socks and the Single Girl

or

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Socks But Were Afraid To Ask.


Almost everyone knows abot socks in this day and age. Almost everyone you see has socks in some form or another. People who don't are often looked upon as being slightly odd by others. Maybe that's because they don't know enough about socks to really give an educated opinion. This page is to help out all of you who are confused about socks.

The History of Socks

People have had socks for a long time. It is probable that Adam and Eve had socks, too, though this is not mentioned specifically in the Bible. We can assume that the first socks occurred after the Fall From Grace, coincident with the first awareness of nudity.

Since then, socks have only risen in popularity, becoming more and more a part of the public awareness. There was a brief period known as the Victorian Era where this was not the case. Women were not allowed to so much as show their ankles, as it was assumed that proper young ladies did not have socks. However, this was the exception rather than the rule, and socks have become pretty much an accepted part of everyday life. Socks can now be found even in Wal-Mart! This has been an indicator of the degradation of society by some, who look back fondly on the times when socks were strictly home-grown.


Socks and Culture

Socks vary widely from culture to culture. The western culture features socks prominently in everyday life since the Middle Ages, excepting the Victorian era mentioned above. However, other cultures have very different views on socks. In Arab areas, where there is a lot of sand and desert and the like, people have traditionally worn sandals, without socks and socks are seldom recognized as being a part of the culture. One of my esteemed colleagues suggested the possibility that it might just be too darn hot for socks. But this speculation aside, we shall concentrate on the western perceptions of socks.

Socks in Western culture is often a controversial topic considering the widely ranging views on the type of socks that are socially permissable. It was not until the mid-sixties, for instance, that it was socially permissable for socks of different colors to be paired. Before then, it was either ignored or taken as a sign of bad taste, but views have become more liberal since then and few people object to it nowadays. This increasing acceptance of different sock pairings has been attributed to the Socks Revolution in the sixties, when socks became more and more a part of how one identified oneself and presented oneself to others. To be sure, socks did exist prior to the sixties, but were simply not remarked upon. Pretty soon, all sorts of socks were making an appearance on society. This was not easily accepted by the older, more conservative section of society. But socks education, the increase of socks on television and in music, broadened views of accepted types of socks are having an effect. Some say that the nation is becoming socks-obsessed, but others say that still more liberalized views are required.
Not everywhere is socks a part of society. For instance, nuns are not considered to have socks, which is why they wear such long habits. No one can really tell if they have socks or not, but most tend to take their word for it.


The Biology of Socks

I personally believe that socks education should be a part of a public school education. Many people have had serious problems because they did not know enough about socks and wound up with preventable diseases such as athelete's foot, a sock-transmitted disease (STD). Very few school-age students know about safe socks, which might lead to difficulties later on in life. Socks have the potential to transmit germs if people carelessly swap socks with many different partners.


Socks and Religion

Various religions have always had something to say about socks and the right and wrong kinds of socks. For instance, there is the debate in religious circles over whether socks are sinful and therefore darned, or whether hole-y socks are unholy and can only be made unhole-y and therefore holy through further darning. Really, the mind boggles.
But even more controversial is whether left socks and right socks should be allowed to pair with other instead of the usual one-left, one-right sock arrangement. Public opinion is extremely divided over this issue. Is the pairing of two-left or two-right socks wrong? Are people who do such things evil? Off their rockers? Harmless? Is it even an issue? There are those that say that socks are inherently unisocks, so it doesn't matter! What about people who want to pair argyle with plaid socks? Is it in very bad taste or simply a matter of personal choice? I don't know! I only work here! AAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK! (Note from Themis's personal psychiatrist: Themis is a little overwhelmed with the implications of socks in American society. She'll be okay in a few days. Don't worry.)



Hey, this page is still being written!
Original Concept by Themis (that's me), Lenya le Goth, and P.T. (not Barnum)