A continuation of Clyde's Day. This page isn't about one day in my life but thoughts as I go thru my days. It in no way is similar to my ''Whizdumb'' documents.
On the airplane, when we were coming back from Texas. The pilot decided to decend quite rapidly into the Fairbanks area. My right ear took a beating and a half, it filled up with so much pressure that I was gulping down the water (not alcohol, you fool!), chewing on minty gum, shifting my jaw, and holding my nose and slowing pushing out the air.
Finally, the nose trick worked and my right eustachian tube released the pressure. For 15 seconds, my ear made a squealing noise only audible to me and the pressure wonderfully and finally released itself. My ear was sore and acted funky for 1 week afterwards!
There's new pressure on me now. One of my friends spreaded the rumor that I was in alcohol treatment and that's why I wasn't in college any more. Now, I can't drink even the slightest drop of alcohol because if I do, people will assume that the treatment didn't work. I really have to rethink who my friends are. Thanks for the slander!
They want your brain cells, protect them!! The pop-culture that I have removed myself from is after your mind. Subliminal messages, brainwashing, and the like involved in the pop-culture is ruining you. Do as I did and protect your mind. Do not let pop culture turn you into a mindless zombie!
When I was in Texas looking for shuttle parts, an incident really had me in a bind, emotionally. I could've used someone to talk to about it at the time. I kept replaying the image that I saw, so, I finally had the chance to talk to someone, well, two people. Two of my siblings were there for me. I'm so glad that they kept themselves available for me to talk to them. I.e., they kept in contact with me by answering my phone calls and emails.
I really hate being teased, have mind games played with me, or all out ignored. When stuff like that happens to me, the ball's in my court and the only balls I want around me are my own. So, 11 months after leaving UAF, I've noticed that a couple of people feel differently about me i.e. (latin = that is) I don't exist to them anymore. I was deeply hurt from the treatment that I received recently.
A mindless zombie tried to attack me the other day. I made another ''I hate Dido'' remark at the FM West store and this bitter and vindictive dyke threw a slap at me that I blocked. Some people's parents!
I've noticed that people have the ''It's all about me'' syndrome. I've recently put together a web page of people that left my life before fall of 2001 and one of my friends asked me ''Why aren't I on your list of friends?'' My reply was ''It's a list of old frineds that I'm LOOKING FOR''.
I was in the Loon in Fairbanks on Saturday April 19, 2003 and I was complaining about how one of my frieds blows smoke in my face all the time. So, another friend came along, made sure as hell he blew the smoke away from me and said ''Do I really blow smoke in your face all the time?'' Once again, I had to correct him and reiterate my story.
When I was working in Hemphill, TX. We had an agency worker with us who's every other word was ''fuckin''. So, I made up a small sentence that went like ''Bubba's fuckin every fuckin other fuckin word fuckin is fuckin'' and one of my coworkers said ''Do I really cuss like that?'' So I had to say ''I was talking about ''Bubba''!
So, if you think it's about you, think again. Sometimes, people complain about other people too.
Ok, Ok. I'll deal with it. I'm fucking ugly. Once again, I was set up without my knowledge with an ugly woman. I get the point. Even though I dated Melanie (who is 5'11 blond and blue and VERY hot) from July to November, one of my friends still thought I was so desperate and set me up with this 4'11 short ugly chick. Maybe I need to have plastic surgery to correct my ugliness.
The biggest thing that came between Melanie and that once I announced that she and I were dating, she got a lot of hate email. And at the Loon, someone told her that I was dating multiple women. I blame it on Dido and the Dixie Chicks!
If I didn't date Melanie during those months, I would've visited a friend of mine that left several years back. I called him up and said I had something good going on in Fairbanks and he was quite understanding. I will be making the big trip by car in late August, I hope. :)
My dad was right. All thru my life he was telling me that it doesn't work. I never believe him and tried to accomplish the feat and I thought I had done so. It turns out that it really doesn't work. It wasn't my fault either. So, when your parent says ''It can never happen'', usually, it won't. Dad, I should've believed you in the first place. I'd be much happier.
The concept of New and Improved is an oxymoron. If something's ''New'', how can you improve it and if something's ''improved'', how can it be new. It's a catchphrase of the mindless zombie society.
I'm working for Forestry in Delta. Same old same mold. Oppression, whining, crybabies, and people stuck in bad moods. And someone had to nerve to email me complaining that they can't choose which lover to choose from. Sheese! Get over yourself!. Not to mention all the other stuff that happened to me and my friends over the winter.
Animals 0, Clyde 7. Once again, I used my humanly-superior mind to outwit an animal. I have outwitted a bear, 3 moose, a wolf, a snake, and now a dog. I had encountered an angry dog at a local fishing pond. We were at opposite ends and the dog started chasing after me. Since ponds are usually round to elliptical-shaped, I used it to my advantage. I maintained the same distance between the mutt and I and made it to the safety of my 1990 Mitsubishi Mirage and took off without a scratch or bite on me.
I miss the days when female singers sang positive stuff. Nowadays, women are bitter, negative, men-hating, and VERY dykey. I miss the days of Paula Abdul, Donna Lewis, Stacy Earl, Stephanie Mills, and Vanessa Williams who were very positive straight women.
I had to work on Mother's Day. There was no way around it. I apologized to my mom and made it up to her. I left town...... To buy her some gifts. I stocked her fridge and freezer with food, I bought her new Sateen (320 thread count sheets), and I bought her a rib lunch.
Forestry has taken up most of my summer. I could count the days off I've had (since my birthday in June) on my hand. I have done most of the jobs that an Emergency Firefighter (EFF) can do in a season including warehouse, fire support, engine crew member, search and rescue crew member, presuppression, and mechanic (in a half-assed manner). The biggest feat of the year was working on 9 different fires and spending 18 days stateside (lower 48). I'm looking forward to another trip to ''America''.
I had ran into a former mind-gamer's parents and siblings at the SRC in very late July. I'm surprised that she didn't tell them that she was playing mind games with me and that she hated me because I refused to subject myself to the games. I was thinking about printing up the nasty emails I got and bringing them with me to show her parents and siblings the next time I go to Fairbanks.
I was playing some volleyball with my friends from my former college and I had an impressive showing. Some of my teamates got blocked and I saved four or five block attempts from hitting our floor, I was a beast at the net handing the other team kill after kill, and I recovered an overpass that went to the right of the net on the other team's side and sent it back to our team to continue the play. I think I found my sport!
I just returned on the 15 of September (03) from British Columbia. The purpose of the trip was firefighting. There was/were treacherous hills, hot flames, lack of firefighting equipment, strange food, long bus rides, shots fired at me, and lots of Canadian love. Not that kind of love.
I noticed that the residents of British Columbia love their wildland firefighters. They respect us in a whole new way that I've never seen before. They commend us for our hard work, long hours, and the frustrations of all the red-tape that we must cut thru to fight the fires. I made a comment to an Alaskan about the hard work I've put into firefighting and their response was ''Sleep isn't hard work you fool.'' To the Canandians who respected us.... THANK YOU!!!! :)
I really hate that one person out of 20 people who take everything you say and try to irrationalize it. I had to deal with a person from Fairbanks on our Delta Crew at one point in my career who only did that to me (I was their target) for some reason. I didn't deserve the ''What the fuck are you talking about?'' questions and my other crew members defended me the several times it happened. So, after the 11th day, I didn't speak to this crew member again for the remainder of the trip. In fact, on the bus from point Y to point Z, this person had the seat next to me and there were no conversations taking place between us.
I notice when I enter a room in a public location, or a seating area at a sporting even, or an aisle at a grocery/department store. I get ''The Eye''. That's strange, cos when I was in college, my friends used to tell me how ugly I was. Is that the case anymore? I don't recall having a makeover of some insane magnitude.
The reprimand, the one I gave several times. I maintain that when one makes actions, they must suffer repercussions or receive rewards. Therefore, an action that subtracts from my life experience or ruins my day will lead to a repurcussion suffered by my acquaintance.
My biggest peeve is a broken promise. One promise I heard before I finished college was ''I promise, I will keep in contact with you.'' Well, three persons out of 20 that made that promise lived up to their promise. Those people have received their rewards. They can dump issues on me regardless of the hell I go thru, I compiment them, and I will occasionally do them a favor i.e. (Latin = that is) I buy them a pop at a hockey game, I loan them a buck or two when needed, etc.
All it takes is a quick email asking me how I'm doing. That takes exactly two seconds to do. I've sent out countless emails asking that and I get no response, then boom, 18 months later, I get an email that only their psychiatrist would see. This happened to me roughly a half dozen times and all of them got the same response. ''You had no right to dump all those ISSUES on me. I had enough to deal with as it was at the time.'' A couple of times, I got a really dirty email in return. The sad thing was, they SELFISHLY didn't wanna hear my side of the story.
Next item of business!
What the hell's up with people these days? I've been noticing that when people don't get what they want, they resort to mind games to get it. With me, the policy is one mind game and you're banned. I will not tolerate them. A mind game is a concoction from someone who's of unstable mental health and can become violent without warning. Here are some typical examples of mind games:
You brought this on yourself.
Seek professional help.
What the fuck are you talking about?
If you had a problem with me, than why didn't you come to ME?
Blatantly ignoring phone calls or emails and when you do the same to them, they gripe.
Never admitting fault and constantly blaming you
Always taking the opponent's side when they are at fault or in the wrong
Etc. I might be onto a new web page!
So, one of my friends who's a mutual friend of another former friend told me that she said ''Clyde turned into a fucking jerk recently.'' And she went on and told her friend the whole story between us. I'm like, isn't that event between her and I? Her version of the event is exaggerated and completely not exactly how the event unfolded. She has ''no right'' to tell other people about the incident that she caused. I stand by my reasoning behind my actions which fall within the ''eye for an eye'' or ''do onto others'' justifications from the bible.
I took the high road with this situation. I don't tell other people about the thinks that SHE did to end our friendship. I don't tell people what a [bad word] she is. When people ask me ''What became of [her]?'' I always respond with ''I don't know anybody with that name.'' The sad thing is, her parents still say hi to me when they see me around town.
The above reminds me. I may have committed many sins. The occasional lie, the occasional putdown, so on, yada yada. I decided to tally the ones I've committed in the past 6 months. I noticed something, my sins do indeed fall under the ''eye for an eye'' or the ''do onto others'' loophole.
I have endured some lousy treatment by many people in my life. It has made me cranky, untrustly, and sometimes quite rude and abbrasive. It also makes me seek solitude more often. I love that loophole, it's so much better than the ''Live a better life'' deal.
Dido Psycho Dykes 0, Clyde 9.
There's just something about Fred Meyer and Dydo Psycho Dykes. Melanie and I were doing some holiday shopping since she was in town for a week. And a Dido song happened to be playing on the PA deal. I joke with Melanie about how dykey Dido is. Another female in the area attempts to slap me and Melanie of all people decked her lightly saying something to the affects of ''He's mine!''
So, Dido Dykes, if you decide to slap me in public. Prepare to get punched by Melanie. She's been playing 18 years of volleyball too so she hits hard!