My most popular document has been my names document. It lists the strange combination of first and last names that make a funny word or phrase. Some names are a huge stretch to be funny and include a middle initial or name. Other names may contain just initials.

2003 was the year of the Bitch/Butch. What will 2004 bring?

2004 brings on many mosquitoes and rain from hell at first which lead to a Godsend of a drought :D. It's almost as bad as the naggy, whiny, dykey bitch of 2003. Nothing can be that bad. On a side note. On a short-haired woman of this new age: What says DYKE more than a haircut that says ''Who needs men?''?

I'm done with firefighting for the season and after a small break, I'll be ready for a new job. I think that Forestry spoiled me this summer. I still didn't meet the financial needs to have my shoulders reconstruced. :(

I worked for a month in Chicken, AK on a fire. It was very strange there. I'm still normal. It was very reminiscent of Northern Exposure but less normal.

''White Fag'' by Dido is further proof that:

SHE LACKS TALENT!!!

And she hates men too

On January 31, 2004. I celebrated my 8th year on the web without cancellation. The celebration involved me being on a plane in the very front aisle staring at the wall for 8 hours with some stranger falling asleep on my shoulder.

Despite needing $50,000+ to repair joints in my shoulders, the joints in my jaw, my left elbow, and to straighten my teeth; I've been given a clean bill of health pending solutions to the above said problems. I was diagnosed with all these problems at once in early April 03. The second and third opinions I got also concurred that my upper body joints suck. My mental health was considered exellent to.... contrary to popular belief. ;)

Phases one and two of my medical needs will be accomplished over the next 18-24 months. I'm getting braces and will have some work done on my jaw. My lower jaw's too strong for my upper. That will set me back very far, financially!

Fairbanksans like to spill their drinks on people. I've seen it happen, or almost happen many times in 2004 alone. It almost happened to me once even over a horrible song comment I made.

Check out the things I go thru. Sheesh!

You are listening to artists who completely lack talent, that's a fact. They have subliminal messages in their 'music' that make you [think you] like them! Find Talentless Artists Here! Feeling a little blue? Feeling down in the dumps? Maybe it's the music you're listening to!!!!

Talentless Artists

And if you want to correct your lack of taste in music. See who gets My Nods and see what it takes to have REAL talent!

Talented Artists

This is a file that assesses a person's stereotype based on the music he/she/both listens to. See how you stack up and how accurate my stereotype of you is! If this document offends you, refer to my Disclaimer and seek someone or a profesional nature.

Another Newest File!!!:

I will make a list of songs that sound the very similar. This is a public service and may be used in court by artists to sue the shit out of each other.

Granted it's only in its conception phase, therefore, it's incomplete (kinda like the grades I get at UAF). It's my Page of One-Liners and Comebacks . It's a compilaitons of the trials and tribulations of my day-to-day life of putdowns that I've faced and the jokes that make up my life.

Seeing that my friends speak a funny version of English or in the ones that have an ''illness''. I thought I'd do a a Little Translating for you.

Friendish To English Dictionary

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Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

You may have found my page by doing a 'Clyde Bell UAF' search on Google.com. I'm flattered that you took the time to look me up on the internet. I know this because this site takes cookies against my will.

If you are looking for me, I may be Looking For YOU!!!! Are you wanted? The list includes people who I have missed since 1993-2001! Update on Nov. 19, 2003. Now including dudes and dudesses up to 2002!!!

This is not a list of my friends. This is a list of people that I haven't heard since or before Fall Semester 2002! This is not a list of my friends!!!!

People Who I'm Looking For Document

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You are visitor number:		Thank You ;).

If you are a specially numbered visitor to my site, you may win a prize, so send Me an Email to claim your prize, eh.

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I decided to a search on my name with iWon.com and I discovered something. I had ran a race in 97 and they published the results on the internet. Please look at how lousy of a runner I was in 97. I was recovering from an strained ACL that I suffered in October 96.

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It all starts with one sentence, then you're hooked. So many Funny Sentences
For example: Alpha Cue up (I'll Fuck You Up!)

SENTENCES

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In Fairbanks, well I guess it works in most towns, I just dial 844 and get the time and temperature. Well, now you can view my webpage to get the same information and you won't hafta listen to those retarded adds. All you hafta do is read on and on as I babble on my webpage!

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FREE To A Good Home!
ME!

6'2" 220#, Dark Brown Hair, Green Eyes, exotic ethnic-appeal, yet caucasian-looking, too. Extensivley experienced, only 27 years old. ... 1976 model

Just how do you keep a blonde busy?

One of my favorite past-times is making fun of other people's names. Please check out The List Of Funny Names.

Am I online? Note, valid only until November 31, 2002!

This page is Internet Explorer Unfriendly! Mostly due to pop-up windows featuring that blond dyke and the video camera.

Just a side note: If you found my site by chance; I'm not your soulmate, dream lover, lost love, or destiny. It's just a fucking chance occurence! Exception: you're female, 5'10 or taller, long blond hair, blue eyes, no children, or criminal record/history/intentions.

Speaking of Destiny (and a fucking chance occurence). Read about my Past Life. I found this small site by chance. Pretty spooky, eh?

About Myself:

(pictured below)

Close-up shot of me in an old school play.

I was only 17 in this picture

I come from a small town of Delta Junction, Alaska. I have lived there since June of 1976 until January of 1995 when I first started attending UAF. I graduated from Delta High School in May of 1994. The semester missing is Fall of 94. I lived at home and took correspondence college courses then.

This is an a pic of Delta from a helicopter. Just remember, Delta is NOT a village

Photo by Nanci Ruthschild-Kennedy

AREA POPULATION: 3000+ People

Just who is Clyde 'Taco' Bell anyway? I revised my personal info page dramatically back in 01. For those of you who liked my old document...there's no way in hell you will see it again!

To Alanis Morissette:

You, you, you, you, you GOTTA DIE

You too Dido (dildo) you have NO TALENT WHATSOEVER!!!

Speaking of Alanis, I'm posting 'lyrics' to her 'music'.
Thank U
Hand In My Pocket
You Learn
U Otta Know

Please observe my busy class schedule from Spring 01, this link is no longer current!. As you can see. I used to be pretty busy, eh. And in Fall 1997, I was very anemic and didn't have energy to do my physics, calc, and chem homework.

Links to Volleyball Info

The Volleyball Spot

Tom Wilson's Volleyball Page

Volleyball General Information. This site is VERY generic.

I will add some of my own advice and experience about volleyball as I progress further along in my knowledge of the game. ;)

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This is me thinking pondering new ideas for my whizdumb files out on Angel Rocks, about an hours drive outside of Fairbanks.

AREA POPULATION: 0000

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The Whizdumb/Wisdom documents are no longer available here. They might be on a dusty shelf somewhere not selling many copies (a complete flop). Seeing that a national company offered to publish my wisdom files, I have to transform them all into paragraph form. A part of the deal is that I have to remove them from my website. I can however make more offensive documents under a different name. ;)

So, in lieu of the wisdom documents. I offer you A Day In My Life. A blander version of what I used to have here.

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PS: For The month of February `03, I've closed all communication lines. It will be impossible to get thru to me. This page hosted by
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