'I Haven't Got A Third Arm'
Thank You Wibble Co. International.
Prevent the growth of those extra and unwanted limbs with new LIMB-O’ growth prevention pills from WIBBLE CO. Don’t take chances and wake up one morning to find your new third leg won’t fit inside your underpants, PRESCRIBE NOW ! Call 011-500-500-1862874-WIBBLE. Or ask your doctor to apply for a prescription. If he refuses, get him to call our Doctors Gift Incentive Hotline (011-528-684-BRIBE). If that doesn’t work it is rumoured that LIMB-O’ is available "under the counter" at a number of unscrupulous and disreputable chemists. For a list of unscrupulous and disreputable chemists, contact us.
ABOUT LIMB-O’ GROWTH PREVENTION PILLS.
The chemicals used in LIMB-O’ have never been tested on any animals of any description with an A-Level in Chemistry, Biology, or Computer typing.LIMB-O’ is in no way addictive or habit forming. Scientists in our marketing division are now trying to correct this.Whilst taking LIMB-O’ you may feel light headed, dizzy, spaced out or nauseous. If these or similar symptoms persist, feel free to take more.LIMB-O’ is not a substitute for any other form of medicine drug or narcotic. It is however, a substitute for MOP-N’-GLO, CHOCOLATE PEANUTS, W-D40, and LOW CAL. COOL WHIP TOPPING.
SIDE EFFECTS.
As with most prescription drugs LIMB-O’ growth prevention pills may have a few minor side effects when taken on a regular basis.
Your body may go numb. A good sign of this happening is being able to hammer nails into brick walls with your head. EARS: may go numb, fall off, invert, switch places. HAIR: may turn blue, fall out, fall in, thicken, thinnen, curl, crimp, compact, expand,start growing on inside of scalp. Although this is not dangerous, it does make sheving and hair cuts slightly more difficult. CARDIOVASCULAR: may stop, slow down, speed up, skip beats, reverse direction, relocate, square dance with other internal vital organs. LUNGS:may inflate, deflate, twist, flip, somersault, convert to sulpher dioxide inhalation only, breath irregularly or out of phase (one inhale, one exhale). BLADDER: may empty, fill, explode, implode, leak, evapourate, condense (after evaporating), or begin to function as a second liver. LIVER: may be eaten with a nice Chianti (Yum Yum). IMPAIRMENT OF FERTILITY: studies with laboratory mice indicate no reduced sexual drive, therefore anyone taking LIMB-O’ growth prevention pills should not experience any adverse reactions if he/she is sexually attracted to mice. VISION: may go blurred, spotted, striped, chequered, upside down, back to front, inside out, double triple, or half way in between. OTHER SIDE EFFECTS: may suffer from reverse diarrhoea, deja vu, deja vu, extendible neck, detachable nose, squeegee eyeballs. RHINTIS or IDIOPATHIC URTICARIA can occur but only on people who know what these words actually mean.
These side effects are only known to effect people with high blood pressure, low blood pressure or normal blood pressure, but not people with no blood pressure.
DOSAGE
Take four pills twice every eight hours, but never sixty two pills in eighty three hours twenty four minutes, if desperate take eight pills every ten hours but never more than forty nine pills in less than fifty eight hours, thirty four minutes, nineteen seconds. If you’re simultaneously taking other drugs, double the recommended doses so that your body knows it’s there.
EXPLOSION RISK
Although LIMB-O’ growth prevention pills are generally non-volatile. It is advised, however that gloves and eye protection be worn at all times whilst taking this product. WARNING ! Do not allow LIMB-O’ growth prevention pills near naked flames, heat sources, areas of high pressure or high voltage electrical wires or equipment. WIBBLE CO. INTERNATIONAL will not be held responsible for damage caused to people or property by any of their products under any cicumstaces because last time we did it cost us too much. WIBBLE CO. INT. Is not a registered trademark, but if anyone tries to copy it we’ll send the boys round, so don’t mess.
Luc (luc-ey) Byard.
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