2.) Steal a Jell-O cup from North Commons, give it to a friend as an ashtray for a Christmas gift, and expect him/her to be thankful. (Chris to Jessica Au96)
3.) Not taking advantage of a drunk WHORE while she's passed out in your bed!!! (Greg S. Au96). As a side note to this little ditty, this same man also turned down the offer from some girl to "fuck the shit out of" him, hmmm.
4.) Yelling, "YEAH" to wake everyone in the bedroom just because he has to leave at 12 PM on a Sunday. (Marc Au96)
5.) Keeping us up until 3 am explaining why rap takes more musical talent to produce than any other form of music including Dave Matthew's Band, Counting Crows, and the like. (Brad 96-97 et. al.) I'm really sorry for this one, he is quite disillusioned.
6.) Respond to the question, "What are we doing?" with, "Well, it's up to us." (Marc Sp97)
7.) Just be so loud that the neighbors are forced escribir a letter saying that they're going to report you to the RA. (Your friends in 426 Wi97)
8.) Go to the ATM, withdraw $20 and spend it on wings only to come home and pass out in an inebriated state allowing the rest in the room to feast. (Todd Au96)
9.) Pull aqueous not only out the window (Petros, John T., Shane, Greg S., and Ehlert) but throughout the room and adjoining hallway (Ehlert, John T., and Marc Sp97).
10.) Up turning chairs, heaving ice cream sandwiches, and causing general ruckus when he found out Marc was not going to part with his Nerf Herder CD (Greg S. Sp97).
11.) ...(later that same evening)... arranging all the chairs in the room in front of the door to prevent one unnamed (Brad) roommate from entering the room. The funny thing is he never did (Greg S/P Sp97).
12.) Just...shove the corner of a table into an electrical outlet damn near causing an electrical fire. I did! Game, have good mosh pitting (John T. Wi97).
13.) Pull a full can of grape pop in the rec. room, for no apparent reason (John T. and Greg P. Sp97) As a side note, I'd just like to remind Ehlert that in the Midwest region of this fine country of ours, the accepted term is pop damnit, not soda. Thank you for your time.
14.) How about I buy an $800 stereo just to encounter the phrase: "John T., your speaker fell, there." Obviously with no apparent concern (Greg P. as a result of Greg S.'s escapade w/ #10 Sp97).
15.) Just... fire (All 96-97 et. al.)
16.) Walk by RA (Luke) with a case full of brew and have him nonchalantly say "Hey guys" and quickly turn away (Greg S. and Dom Wi97).
17.) Using the brew in the aforementioned event, get completely hammered (All), have a baking soda fight in the room including part of the hallway (John T. and Greg S.), and having a chemistry 121 final the next afternoon (John T. Wi97).
18.) Don't have money to cover the nudie magazine but pull $50 out of your ass to buy Bibles (Brad Sp97).
19.) Try the burning alcohol trick on your nose and in turn sear your eyebrows (Mike Sp97).
20.) The Run to ring in winter quarter. Need I say more? (Jeff Wi97)
21.) Repeat #20 as necessary to cap off said quarter. (Jeff Wi97)
22.) Bite into a Turtle (the candy variety), have your tooth be removed from its natural habitat, and your only reaction being, "Well that's some shit!" (Lowe Wi97)
23.) Sell three Metallica tickets and get to Cincinnati in the span of about an hour. By the way, we stopped to relieve for a few minutes in that time, also. (John T., Aaron, Dom, and two bastardized Drackett people who still haven’t paid me Sp97)
24.) After the aforementioned ordeal (#23) fall asleep driving home (John T.) only to be rescued by one of the passengers. (Aaron Sp97)
25.) Money saving tip: screw using washers to clean your garments, just piss on 'em! (Erik Wi97)
26.) Someone bust a case study on #25 a year later. (Meghan)
27.) Learn your tolerance from the man who decided he could handle a hellafide amount of shots including 4 shots of 151 Rum. Unfortunately, he decided to expel the alcohol when he was done with it all over the bathroom, pass out in his bed, and make his roommate (John T.) and a hall mate (Greg P.) flood the bathroom to clean it. Thanks. (Greg S. Wi97)
28.) All for the sake of friendship steal someone's (Marc) Nutrageous, Jell-O, banana, and balloon until the victim (Marc) is damn near to tears or fisticuffs. (Mark with a hand from Greg L.) We did, however, make amends after the musical. (John T. and Greg P. Sp97)
29.) After some sort of altercation, come out of the room having put your shirt back on so you are decent for public display. Unbeknownst to the wearer, the orientation of the shirt was slightly askew from the accepted orientation of that particular shirt, well, it was inside out. (Kelly Sp97) As a side note, we would like to thank Jeremy Reitzel for pointing out the aforementioned mistake in a less than subtle manner I might add. Thanks again.
30.) In a Styrofoam frenzy (thanks Jim), destroy one large Coke bottle just for the sake of destruction. This was very unjust since the bottle dutifully served its purpose as keg holder. (Greg P., John T., and Marc Wi97)
31.) Amass a debt over and above any other debt amassed during your tenure as a human. (Chris Sp97) Due to this minor faux paus have legal representation at the ripe old age of 19.
32.) While some of the locals are harmlessly setting the shower area ablaze (Greg P., Marc, Greg S.) one of the bystanders decides the urge of defecation is too great to repress so he thinks it would be in good taste to just shit with others in the water closet. (Brad Sp97)
33.) Here's a humane scenario, come out of the bathroom in a pair of boxers with the general crotch area soaking wet. The problem arises when the wearer is concerned because when he touched the affected area, it was "crusty," then nonchalantly pulling up his pants and going to class. (Brad Sp97)
34.) "It's a brand new disk, it's never been used, I don't know how that virus got on there." This quote coming after the detection of a virus on our hero's computer (John T.), requiring all the power one John Klapp could muster to eradicate the intruder. (Ehlert Sp97).
35.) In an attempt to out drink the neighbor (Jeff), a feat not accomplished by many, drink the equivalent of 7 beers in about a half an hour. Well, the liver can only take so many toxins before it has to force them out the ol' fashioned way, as it did in this abhorrent scene. (John T. Wi97).
36.) In pursuit of the end zone, full body check a poor, helpless female (Lisa) into a large wall made of concrete. Luckily, she was no match for his power as he proceeded into the end zone with relative ease. (Greg S. Au96) By the way, the victim eventually recovered.
37.) In a feeble attempt to liven up your drab existence, insert a sharp probe into the upper left portion of your face. In addition to this, don't keep the damn thing in making a poorly placed hole in your head the only reward for this whole ordeal. (Shane Sp97)
38.) Insistent on sobriety, attempt the newest dance craze, The Fall, right into someone's (Marc) computer. In doing so, come within a hair's width of placing your face into the unsuspecting monitor. Upon retaining balance, realize nobody wants to assist the afflicted, they just want to double over in wails of laughter and joy. (Kelly Sp97)
39.)Insert yourself into an unscheduled English 367.01 class in an endeavor to witness the spectacle of the pulchritudinous female we have all been gawking over for the quarter. (Shane Sp97)
40.) Expect the Dibs Law to incorporate everything from the last piece of pizza to an attractive female in your Economics class. (Marc Sp97)
41.) Finding the layout of the laundry room not to your liking, place one of the big, comfy sillas upon the TV. While here, do homework, eat "Men," and, after the spin cycle, partake in the Transition Game. (Greg P. Wi97)
42.) Arise from a blissful slumber only to realize you lost all possible control over your bladder during the R.E.M. sleep. Upon realizing this, announce this to everyone who happened to be in the room. (Marc Sp97) As a side note, he didn't find it necessary to change the sheets afterwards.
43.) It is now necessary to mention all who have followed in the footsteps of this great patriot (Marc(x2), Mark(x2), Meghan Au97-Wi98). I would like to give an extra special mention to Chris Dorman, pioneer, who was not content to settle with pissing in his bed, on the floor, or on his laundry. He went above and beyond the call of duty and relieved on his favorite targets, Jim Martin and a dresser. Pick up your blue ribbon in 535, Glorious Taylor Tower. Way to go man.
44.) How about we pull off the infamous "Keg Maneuver" down in 426 all the while having our RA be the RA on call causing him to be in his room the whole time with his door open. (All Sp97)
45.) While enjoying an evening at the Jake, damn near have to bite some poor unsuspecting woman’s nose off over a foul ball (John T. Su97). Luckily for her, our hero (John T.) practices acts of nonviolence and we commend him for that.
46.) In a desperate yet feeble attempt at borrowing our hero’s coche, try to comfort him with the words: "if I break it, I’ll owe ya." Thanks but no thanks. (Greg S. Au97)
48.) Upon gazing at an attractive female in a less than sober state, find it necessary to bellow "Oh Yeah!" so everybody can hear. Good job. (John T. Au97)
49.) In an attempt to pay tribute to one’s fine basketball talent, accept this person’s first name, Raef, as a colloquialism for relieving oneself. (All Au97)
50.) Graciously brighten up the usually dreary existence of 426 GTT by making a sign for the bathroom door that read "This could be the last time you see your crotch." (Greg S. Sp97) A fine observation that was pondered, at length, by a Mr. Greg S. and a Mr. Greg P. who, to this day, still don’t have a grasp on the depth of this comment.
51.)In the confined living quarters of 706 Harrison House, maximum occupancy 15, find it our duty to cram 75 people in there all for the good of WIB.
52.)Have a revelation by the folks of GTT that honesty is the best policy and let everyone we encounter know about it including the NY Times guy at the activities fair and the equestrian guy who just couldn’t come up with a bottle of Pete’s Wicked Ale.
53.)In an inebriated fit of hormonal rage, decide the stuffed grouse sitting all alone in the corner was the one for you and offer it oral gratification.
54.)Common items carried across High St. include Classic Doubles from Wendy’s and Compact Discs from Used Kids. On this glorious autumn afternoon, however, decide that these items no longer challenge us and raise the stakes to a blue comfy couch from the Salvation Army Store.