The
following "Top Ten" lists serve to inform as
well as to entertain your 
off. Enjoy!
|
The
following "Top Ten" lists serve to inform as
well as to entertain your |
|
As my time on
Panama is coming to an end, here are a few things that I have
learned (some, the
hard way) so far while
living in Panama.
| Top Ten Things I Have Learned While Living in Panama | |
| 10. | Don't look like a tourist, try to blend in. |
| 9. | Carry lots of small change and always try to break your $20 bills. |
| 8. | Always look both ways before crossing the street, even if it IS a one way street. |
| 7. | When getting on a bus, sit as close to the front as possible or next to a HOT Panamanian. |
| 6. | Machetes are REAL sharp. |
| 5. | Don't give dirty looks to guards with big shot guns. |
| 4. | If a guy on the street is selling flowers and has a white rose, he's also selling marijuana. |
| 3. | Don't drink rum, vodka and champagne on the same night. |
| 2. | Always carry an umbrella during rainy season. |
| 1. | Always wash yourself thoroughly (especially around the genetalia) after having any kind of sexual relations with someone you have known for less than a week. |
One of the themes of my website is to illustrate to you people why I think I'm the "Luckiest Bastard Alive". Here were some of those points:
| Top 10 Reasons Why I'm the Luckiest Bastard Alive! | |
| 10. | Sleeping-in till noon everyday. |
| 9. | I get to wear beach shorts and t-shirts to work; & beach shorts don't require underwear. |
| 8. | There are 5 nudie bars within a 3 block radius around my house. |
| 7. | You think you've met the hottest Panamanian one day, and the next day, she introduces you to her friend who is even hotter!! |
| 6. | I don't have to answer to anyone. |
| 5. | Constantly surrounded by HOT Latino women. |
| 4. | I live in a beautiful house that has everything, located in the middle of everything , with a maid that cleans my room each day. |
| 3. | My parents are very, very far away. |
| 2. | I have friends who give a shit about me to actually read my shit on my shitty website. |
| 1. | Two words: "well hung" * |
*Untrue. But if you're laughing, then I've done my job
You all know I have an uncontrollable obsession with the women down here, here's why:
| Top 10 Things That Make Panamanian Women so damn HOT! | |
| 10. | Amply chested torsos. |
| 9. | Great bouncy hair, full of body and volume. |
| 8. | Women: Sexy business suits. Girls: Naughty school girl uniforms. |
| 7. | Sexy Spanish tongues. |
| 6. | Happy-partying, relaxed attitude. |
| 5. | They don't take shit from no one. |
| 4. | Soft dark skin. |
| 3. | Nice full lips. |
| 2. | Tank tops and tight jeans make me sooo happy!! |
| 1. | Killer, full figured, non-anorexic bodies and they know how to strut it too!!!! |
My poor mom at home is worrying her little heart out because her only son has left home for the first time, and for a long time at that. And all the while not knowing when he's coming home. Here's 10 reasons why I think she wants me to back in Vancouver:
| Top 10 Reasons Why My Mom Wants me to Come Home | |
| 10. | The VCR is blinking "" |
| 9. | Our dog, Coco, is getting out of control; no one mean enough to punish him. |
| 8. | Too much food around; needs her human garbage disposal/son. |
| 7. | The snow needs to be shovelled. |
| 6. | My mother, "Isn't there a war down there?" |
| 5. | Afraid that I might fall in love with HOT Panamanian and bring her home. |
| 4. | Time to go back to school and get a degree, so she can brag about it after Sunday church. |
| 3. | Time to start bringing home some real money. |
| 2. | Time to start looking for a beautiful, quiet, fertile, catholic, chinese, future wife that can also cook and clean. |
| 1. | Just plain misses her only son. |
More lists to come. For example:
