When i was a freshman in college I participated in Urban Immersion. It was basically a one week "mission trip" to inner city LA. My group was assigned to work with the LA Mission. So we slept in the Men's gym and helped out with various programs during the daytime. I think my job was stuffing envelopes or filing letters. It was one of the most awful tasks i've ever been assigned. I got pretty tired of it after the first hour. But it was so cool to live with the program participants that it compensated for the boring job.
The LA Mission has this 18 month rehabilitation program for homeless people who are motivated to change their lifestyle. It seemed like an incredible program because it was focused on building a whole new person. It wasn't just a job training program or a drug rehabilitation program. Instead they started from the basics, like breaking bad habits, and went all the way developing good life skills and getting your first apartment and job. Very comprehensive program.
It left such an impression on me because I saw so many people who embodied true compassion. It was incredible to work alongside people who invest their whole lives in helping people.
So going back to the fact that i'm now 20. Many times i feel like i don't have much to show for my live. What have i done in all time i've been on this earth? Not much. But then i cheer myself up with the thought that I have done something however little or insignificant it may be. Maybe all the times i smiled at the people on the bus on my way to school when i was really sleepy and wanted as little human contact as possible. But i don't spend too much time thinking about it because there is no way i could ever objectively quantify my life and i probably shouldn't try anyway. However there is something that brings me infinite joy. (or as mcuh as i can imagine at one time). And that's my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I really have a hard time making decisions but I'm glad i made that one a long time ago. Not just because I know that i'm going to heaven, but also because it gives me a purpose and a reason for living.
One way i like to think about it is like this:
This summer i took a trip to Kazakhstan. One day my apartment mates and I had to walk to another apartment using a map. After walking like 30 minutes we were utterly confused. So we walk up to one guy and show him the map and point to where we want to go. The only probably is he doesn't speak English and we don't speak Russian. But he beckons for us to follow him. After walking for ten minutes he stops in front of this building. And he's really proud of himself but we're like where the heck are we. Basically what he did was take us to the English library! Except it wasn't open yet so we decided to go back to the street corner and start over again. After wandering around for about 10 min. trying to figure out the map, this old lady tries to help us out. Once again we point to where we want to go and she sets off with confidence. She actually leads us to this apartment building that looks very promising except we come a little closer to look at the apartment number and it's not the one we're looking for. Fortunately we know the russian word for phone so we say something like "please phone". And finally the lady understands and she lets us use the phone. We call someone at the apartment that we are trying to go and agree to meet them at the street corner. Anyways they come get us and take us to their apartment. And it was incredible cuz it took us about 2 minutes to get there. The whole time we were "lost" we were actually really close. Basically we were asking the wrong people, who thought they could help us but really didn't know how to get to where we were headed. Although they gave us advice and it always looked promising it always led to a dead end. But then we called the right person and he led us there in a few minutes. So I was like wow that really describes this life.
Many of us know where we want to get to but we know we're lost and we can't figure out to get there, even though we have a map! So we ask people along the way for help and they say "i know just how to help you, follow me"(Mormons, Muslims etc). since you don't know better you agree to go along and they always lead you to a dead end. And finally you call on the right person (Jesus) who takes you to the right place. You were so close the whole time but you just couldn't get there on your own. And finally you're able to understand the map (The Bible).