One of my jobs this summer was tutoring students in EPA. I think it’s been the most rewarding thing I’ve done this summer. I loved my students so much. I guess i feel that in dealing with them there is less artifice involved. I always think that I’m the saddest at the end of these short summer programs because I realize that I probably will not see 99% of my newfound friends ever again in this life. And it makes me get a little teary-eyed. Because we do form bonds, but they are too weak to last the seperation of time and and hundreds of miles. I think I enjoy the fact that they are still moldable and shapeable and therefore willing to listen to your opinions. I also have to deal with the frustration of having different values. If you have no desire to go to college or improve yourself mentally there are relatively few arguments that can be used. But by the same token, if a light bulb goes off in your head one day and you realize that you are smarter than you knew, have something good to pursue and look forward to, you’ll be unstoppable.
Working this summer has shown me different things. If you go to work 8-5 and your job involves a lot of sitting, you will gain a some weight. There is no question about it. It is scary enough to make me exercise each day, because I’ve been sitting around for 10 hours, and I know it’s so grossly unhealthy. I’ve always known it’s unhealthy to sit around but now I’m reminded every day, so it spurs me into action. Another thing is that student life is cushy/ flexible. People at work come in at 6:30a to get their work done from the previous day. Willingly and sometimes without pay. Others drive 2.5 hours one way to get to work. So when I have to work, I will no longer be able to get up 15 minutes before I need to get somewhere. But until i have to work, i'm gonna enjoy school. I hope this time i really do.
I’m not sure how it happened but one Sunday I spent about 6 hours driving around the bay area. I had 3 or 4 destinations in mind when I left the apartment in the morning, but I only had directions to one place. Hence the entire day we were trying to figure out how to get to the next place. It was a lot of fun though. I really liked my traveling partners. I think we were all kind of laidback about it. No one stressed about sitting in traffic for an hour or missing events that we were trying to get to. And I think we really had some good conversations cuz we’re from different parts of the world, different walks of life, very different outlooks and perspectives. The only thing we had in common was that we were sitting in the same car on the same day. And it is unlikely that we will all be in the same spot again.
i have a new motto. i think i'll plaster it everywhere. It's the theme/ sentence/ thought that has stayed with me for months. I don't know why. Maybe it's cuz it brings perspective to my everyday battles and journeys, i dunno. It comes from hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. So my theme is "for the joy of it". so when i think about particularly difficult tasks that need to be undertaken, instead of focusing on the negative aspects, i try to think of what lies on the other side. but it is rather challenging to change my ways of thinking.
i mean just think about what a difference your attitude makes. It has really been striking to me this summer. There are some people at work who complain about everything, the work, the treatment, how so and so did them wrong... And then you have the ray of sunshine. No matter what you tell them, or ask them, they answer with a smile and are willing to help. And it amazes me because it makes such a difference. So i'm trying to check myself. You know? As i have the bad thought, catch it before i express it and make others sad. And then if i have something good to say, be free and quick to share it.